


transparencii [the i's make it feminine]

by MelodramaticMrTails



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - GTA, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Permanent Injury, Polyfidelity, Slurs, Trans Character, Transphobia, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 76,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticMrTails/pseuds/MelodramaticMrTails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships in the work place aren't exactly smiled upon, you know? Unless, uh, you're a group of criminals who control a large city on the edge of California and would probably stab anyone giving unwanted opinions about your relationship-s? In which case, please carry on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. if you knew what this was about, You'd Probably Hate Them

Jack isn't really bothered by having to share a stake out vehicle with Ryan but it is eerily quiet. Ryan's a weird guy and while he's not really 'new' to the crew, only recently has he been helping out with bigger jobs and hanging out with the top five. Top six now, Jack supposes. They've been in need of a demolition man after all. Michael is good but he's better at other things and often times, they need him doing those things instead.

Despite his weirdness and impatience and, well, a lot of other flaws, Ryan's a nice guy. Nice in a serial killer kind of way. Jack isn't sure where she's going with this train of thought.

"Hey, Ryan," Gavin speaks up over the headset. In the foreground, Michael can very plainly be heard as well.

"He's gonna fuckin' eat you, Gav," he warns.

"He can 'eat' me any time he wants," Ray murmurs nearly inaudibility. Jack can tell right now this isn't going to go great for anyone involved. In fact, she sort of wants to get out of the car just so she won't have to be a part of it.

"Hm?" Ryan replies without much interest. He's more concerned with watching for their target than he is with amusing the already piss bored lads.

"Question for you," Gavin says nonchalantly.

"You're so dead," Michael laughs in the background.

"I'm going to regret it but go ahead," Ryan assures. They're all going to regret it, Jack's sure.

"Are you an ass or a tits man?" he finally asks. Yep, this is a terrible discussion. Jack shakes her head, crossing her arms irritably over her chest and very bluntly ignoring the curious look Ryan gives her. She's sad to say this is a pretty normal thing around here.

"Jesus Christ," Jack sighs just to assure Gavin knows she is, in fact, still here and listening.

"Aside from Jack obviously," Gavin promises. "Who has neither." Michael laughs louder but oddly enough, Jack isn't amused.

"Speak for yourself," Geoff adds in halfly.

"Holy shit dude, you're just asking for it now," Michael giggles. "You gonna die."

"Gavin," Ryan says after a moment. "I'm fond of all protrusions on a lady," he assures calmly.

"Like, even a penis?" Gavin asks. Jack rolls her eyes, turning her attention out the side window in annoyance. She gets it. It's a joke because no lady anywhere has a penis, right? And finding one on a lady would be disgusting or something. Funny.

"If you can find one on a lady, I'm all about it," Ryan agrees without hesitation. This, honestly, startles Jack a little. She had expected him to laugh it off or, worse still, say something even more offensive. Jack looks at him questioningly and Ryan just shrugs. It's not altogether clear if this is just another joke to get Gavin off the topic or if he's actually aware of the connotations, though. It's more likely the first but it is Ryan. He's a smart guy, far smarter than Gavin, and Jack can't say she'd be surprised if it was the second.

Jack feels herself blush faintly not so much over the fact that, hey, maybe Ryan isn't extraordinarily transphobic, but rather what Ryan seems to vaguely suggest about it. Ryan's a handsome guy, after all. She shakes it off quickly, not allowing herself to get worked up over something that was clearly a joke.

"Wait," Gavin murmurs. "Are you gay, Ry?" It's much harder to stop herself from getting worked up over Gavin's idiocy. She's going to kill him. She really is. Instead of answering, however, Ryan moves to get out of the car and Jack watches him unsurely. Maybe Ryan's going to kill him first.

"Hey! You! Yeah you! I'm gonna bust your fucking teeth out!"

"Uh," Jack says slowly. "Ryan has eyes on the target. Now he has hands on the target. Now he's beating the target mercilessly."

"Alrighty," Geoff sings lazily. "Good job everyone. Let's head home."

"I got his wallet, Jack!" Ryan calls out, waving his illy required goods for Jack to see like he's some kind of over eager puppy. He holds their target by the collar with the other hand, probably dead now and soaked in his own blood. Jack definitely wouldn't use the term 'nice' but he's not a complete asshole. He's certainly not a fuckboy like Gavin. More importantly, though, she's glad he's on their side.

"He only had twelve dollars on him, what kind of shit is that?"

\- x -

"Hurry up, Gavin," Ray hisses shortly as the three lads do their best to finish tagging the front of a jewelry store in the middle of the night. Jack and Ryan are just here for support though fairly, if the cops show this is a situation to high tail it home as opposed to trying to face down. Still, unless one of them accidentally trips an alarm, they should be fine. No one in Los Santos is going to risk their necks for reporting something like this.

"Kinda cute, eh?" Ryan offers quietly as he reaches into his pocket for a box of cigarettes.

"'Cute'. Right," she scoffs back. The lads can be cute when they want to be but now is not that time. They're irritably shouting at each other in hushed tones and covered in several shades of spray paint. This is largely because they keep spraying each other. It's one storefront. One.

"Mm?" Ryan offers a cigarette from his box that Jack accepts without stall. She'll quit smoking when she quits the FAKE crew. Politely, Ryan offers the flame of his lighter as well and she leans in enough to start up the end of her cigarette.

"There's not a fucking 'c' in 'fake', you fucking dipshit," Michael hisses. Ryan pockets his lighter again after pushing his mask aside enough to smoke and Jack shakes her head. If they wanted to get anything done, they should have separated and hit different targets but no, the lads like doing stuff together. Ryan apparently does, too.

"It's not a 'c'," Gavin argues. "It's the legs of the 'k'. Look."

"It looks like a 'c'," Ray agrees. "What the fuck is a 'falce'?"

"It's not a 'c'!" Gavin yips.

"You know, I used to think Geoff was a mastermind," Ryan mentions offhandedly. "But now that I know him, he's just a drunk. How the hell have you guys managed to control Los Santos this long." Jack snorts a laugh.

"Don't let our constant and spectacular failures fool you, we're very competent criminals," she insists. Working together forces them out of their comfort zones and thus, into inevitable failure, but this is all for fun. When serious work needs to be done, it gets done. "Cross Geoff and he'll cut your throat."

"I feel like that'd be very ambitious of him," Ryan promises. As much as he talks, Jack isn't worried about him. He's been with the FAKE for years and proves himself loyal if not a little eccentric. There have been a few incidents but if anything, Ryan does it for a laugh.

"That's what he wants you to think," Jack says simply. Ryan grins and then he laughs. God he's cute. Even now, Jack is pretty annoyed at herself for developing a crush on Ryan so quickly over a joke comment.

"Oh shit! Gavin!" Michael shouts. They're all at attention immediately. "You triggered the alarm!"

"I didn't!" Gavin squaks back.

"Oh man," Ray sighs loudly. "Dude! You broke the fucking glass! That triggers the alarm!"

"Wot‽ How was I supposed to know‽"

"Time to go," Ryan states plainly. He flicks his half finished cigarette to the ground and rubs it out with his foot as he fixes his mask again. Jack tosses hers away as well before hurriedly following him across the street. Police sirens sound from a distance and close in swiftly.

Ryan grabs Ray right off the bat and shoves him down the alley while Jack grabs Gavin by the back of the shirt to 'help' him along. Michael follows them easily. He's an escape artist of his own invention and doesn't need any help. Ryan leads them for the time being, exiting out the other side of the alley and securing a vehicle instantly. He breaks the window open and gestures to Jack fondly.

"It's all yours," Ryan assures.

"That's so sweet," Gavin coos teasingly.

"Suck his dick," Ray hollers.

"You get in the fucking back," Ryan snaps as he goes about corralling the lads into the bed of the truck. Jack swiftly goes about hot wiring the front. By now, she doesn't even need thirty seconds, especially not with a piece of shit like this.

"Keep your heads down and maybe you'll be fine," Ryan scoffs as he manhandles the lads over the edge of the truck bed. They complain faintly at the treatment but don't make any moves to argue with him. Once 'safely' in, Ryan hops in the cab with Jack. The police don't seem to be looking for them as of now but with 'don't fuck the falce' spray painted on the window, it's just a matter of time.

Jack decides to get them out of here before that. Fortunately the truck Ryan has picked has some amount of go to it. She'll never get used to having to drive crappy cars like this after being spoiled so well by Geoff. After all, she's the only one he'll let drive his Audi.

"To the next target, then?" Ryan suggests gladly.

"Oh what? Really?" Jack scoffs back.

"The police are already distracted so why not?" Ryan insists. "And we have a getaway vehicle now."

"Yeah," Jack sighs. "Fine. Whatever."

\- x -

It's not that Jack dislikes Ray it's just that they don't have a lot in common. They smoke weed together sometimes and, uh, yeah, that's basically it. If they have anything else in common, she'd be completely surprised. Still, Ray is quiet and it's easy for them to sit around comfortably. Well, fly around comfortably. For now, they're just waiting for the signal to drop Ray in and grab the goods. Ryan will pick him up from the ground.

"So, did you watch the game last night?" Jack offers in some form of conversation.

"You mean did I see our team throw nine interceptions and try a hail Mary before halftime?" Ray answers with a snort. "God, that was bad."

"Yeah it was," Jack agrees. "Only lost two hundred this year. I mean, last year they had eleven interceptions and _fourteen_ turnovers. Which, really, doesn't even sound possible."

"Dude, why do you always bet on Los Santos, anyways? They're literally the worst team in the division," Ray laughs.

"They gotta win eventually," she says simply. "And when they do, mama's gonna rake in those sweet, sweet one to a hundred odds."

"That's like, two grand? I don't get it," he jokes.

"More like twenty grand," Jack promises.

"I get it," Ray answers with a whistle. They lapse back into silence again. The guys are taking a long time down there. It would be nice to hear something from them but Jack supposes it's better they don't. They'll certainly hear if something goes wrong.

"So," Ray mimics somewhat awkwardly. "You're friends with Ryan, right?"

"Am I?" Jack replies. This is news to her. She may be crushing on him hard but Ryan doesn't really seem like the 'friend' kind of guy. He tends to keep to himself when they're not on jobs, even keeping his old, sort of shitty apartment instead of moving into the nice one Geoff offered. Jack sort of understands, she could use a break from the crew on occasion too, but Ryan is just a private guy overall.

"I mean, he hasn't threatened you with violence yet," Ray points out. Jack isn't sure that makes them friends. In fact, Ryan seems to do that mostly out of fondness. Also anger but _mostly_ fondness.

"What about it?" Jack asks instead of debating this any further. Ray adjusts a little unsurely.

"Well, uh, I was just wondering if you knew if he was, you know, straight?" Ray questions awkwardly. Holy shit, Ray's crushing on Ryan, too. Jack doesn't know what to say. Honestly, she should probably tell him she is too and avoid any hard feelings but that feels kind of like a dick move. She's not sure she's ever seen Ray crush on anyone and to take this away from him- she'd feel so bad.

"I- I don't know," Jack admits. "I mean, I guess he did say he was down with dick?"

"Liking dick on a lady doesn't make him gay," Ray answers sourly.

"Trust me, I know," Jack murmurs under her breath. "Are you- are you thinking about asking him out?"

"Maybe," Ray says quietly. "If he's not- yeah." Jack feels simultaneously proud of Ray for the effort and horrified that she hasn't even thought of asking Ryan out yet. Though fairly, there is a big difference between them. At least Ryan would be expecting what's in Ray's pants.

Furthermore, as Jack thinks about it, Ryan seems to like Ray a lot. It's obvious all at once how Ryan tends to prioritise Ray's safety over the other lads' and the very noticeable way he watches Ray from both a distance and up close. Oh man, those 'cute' comments seem a lot less friendly now and way more affectionate. Jack is rightfully and extraordinarily disappointed.

"I mean, yeah. You should go for it," Jack finds herself saying even if she doesn't want to. In fact, she sort of wants to push Ray out the chopper and if Ray knew she was crushing on him, too, he'd probably feel the same. Who is she kidding, Ray is so nonconfrontal, if she said anything, he'd back off. She _can't_ say anything.

"Yeah?" Ray replies with a nervous grin.

"Ryan's an open minded guy," Jack assures. "I'm sure the worse that'll happen is he'll refuse."

"Yeah," Ray snorts. "Right. Or fucking kill me."

"Come on, it's Ryan," Jack persuades and she has no idea why. The last thing she should be doing is encouraging him. "He's like a lap Doberman."

"Yeah, and Dobermen bite when startled," Ray murmurs with a sigh. Jack is fairly certain Ryan wouldn't react that negatively to being asked out by a guy. In fact, they don't even know that he's straight. Hey, Geoff looks like a scary kind of guy and he's bi. If anything, Ryan snapping back would be an immediate alert that he has to go.

Jack wouldn't put money on it.

"Thanks, though, I guess," Ray says. "And, uh, don't tell anyone please. This is so gay. Like the epitome of gay."

"Course," Jack agrees. "Don't worry about it."

\- x -

Jack watches absent mindedly as Michael tries to figure out how to get past the high tech safe's control panel. They have all the time in the world considering the owner of said safe is already dead and therefore, she isn't too worried. Instead, she's more concerned with Ryan and to a further extent, Ray.

"I am too fucking dumb for this, holy shit," Michael says in complete confusion and defeat. "I was an electrician, holy shit."

"You think Ryan would pick Ray over me?" Jack asks into the open. Michael looks at her halfly but doesn't offer much of a reply as he goes back to struggling with the wiring. "I mean, anyone would pick Ray over me, look at him. He's like- dainty and cute."

"Dude, are you crushing on Ryan?" Michael questions curiously. "Dude's a fucking freak, Jack, capitol everything."

"He's not- yeah, I know," Jack sighs. Fairly, he's really no worse than the rest of them. "I mean, his face makes up for it though."

"The face he hides ninety percent of the time?" Michael snorts. He curses under his breath as he shocks himself again and immediately takes a fouler mood. "Fuckin'- look, you could do better. You're like, ridiculously hot, Jack."

"Thanks," Jack says sarcastically. "That didn't answer my question even remotely."

"What do you want me to say?" Michael huffs back loudly with a variety of wires in both hands. "You and Ray are both my friends, Ray more so than you, and honestly, Ryan looks like the kind of guy that would cut both of you into pieces and chuck them in the ocean."

"No," Jack says in disbelief. "Ryan's more of a burn the body kind of guy, anyways."

"Oh yeah, that's better," Michael assures with false enthusiasm.

"So is that a no, then?" Jack questions. She isn't sure it matters, really, it's not like Ryan knows she has a crush on him. This is all so inane. They're not in high school anymore and, god, Jack hated high school.

"Is that a-? Christ, Jack," Michael sighs irritably. "So you're fucking fat, okay? I seriously doubt _that's_ the reason Ryan would pick Ray over you. Ryan's a big dude. He looks like he likes more cushion for the pushin'."

"I have no idea why I thought you would be helpful," Jack says mostly to herself.

"Me either!" Michael agrees. "If it makes you feel better, Ryan doesn't exactly look like a cradle robber, either, you know? Ray might be a bit young for him. If, you know, he's even into dudes which, no, I don't know. Christ, everyone wants to fuck the new guy."

"Everyone?" Jack asks swiftly. She moves to take the wires from Michael and he gladly hands them over.

"Everyone being you and Ray. And maybe Gavin when he's drunk. And apparently Lindsay's already been all over that which is-" Michael stops to shake his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Right," Jack replies with some degree of relief. Things were already not in her favour. She wires up the panel with ease, reconnecting some wires Michael had needlessly cut and crossing a few others.

"Holy shit!" Michael yelps as the safe opens. "You knew how to open it from the start‽"

"Not really," Jack shrugs. "Looked like smart car motherboard. I took a guess." Michael makes a loud, disgruntled noise.

\- x -

Staying at Ryan's place is really weird. It's mostly weird because Jack expected it to be weird and it's not. In fact, it's painfully normal in every word. She stays with him because Geoff's sky rise is under investigation and subsequently, so are all of their apartments. Geoff always works it out, but it means everyone has to find a place to stay for a few days. Michael and Gavin stay with Lindsay, Geoff stays in an overpriced hotel, Ray in his safehouse, and Jack with Ryan.

She could have, and should have, taken up Geoff's offer to join him in the hotel but here she is. Ryan had offered and she wasn't going to say no. The guest bedroom is very nice, she'll admit, with its own bathroom and everything. It's dressed up nice, too, lots of fancy pillows and there's a painting on the wall even.

Who knew Ryan was so normal?

Ryan seems to spend most his time in the living room where he's set up his extensive computers which makes it easy to bump into him several times a day. He's even less talkative when he's at his computer, though, and it's pretty awkward to just wander through Ryan's home. Overall, Jack doesn't make a habit of hanging around. Instead, she wastes her time in a near by bar placing bets on games she knows nothing about and casually drinking. Ryan doesn't mind.

He's up at all hours of the night anyways, Jack finds out the hard way. She's just about to head out again, this time to a club Gavin had mentioned some time ago that she's never found time to check out, when she discovers very quickly Ryan isn't at his computer. Instead, he's perched quietly on the couch. Fortunately, the couch faces away from the hall and therefore, he probably doesn't see her.

Ryan, to continue the weirdness of his home life, doesn't seem to wear his mask around, either and only seems to wear paint if he'd already been out that day. His mop of dirty blonde hair is plainly visible over the back of the couch and when he glances over his shoulder curiously, so is his uncovered face. Jack instinctively hides herself around the corner and Ryan appears to still be unaware of her presence.

Holy shit, he's masturbating.

What kind of person jerks off in their livingroom? What the fuck, Ryan? Jesus Christ, he probably doesn't know she's here right now. He had been napping when she'd come home. Or maybe he absolutely knows she's here and just doesn't care. Jack isn't sure what to do. She peers back out again cautiously and gets a good look at the TV screen.

That's definitely porn. From a downward point of view, a very androgynous looking face chokes down dick. Honestly, this annoys Jack even more. She can't tell the gender of said actor and furthermore, said person is blonde anyways otherwise known as not a redhead and definitely not a brunette, either. Jack admits she might be looking a little too hard into this but come on, Ryan is totally the kind of nerd who'd be into that 'subconscious' stuff.

Okay, now they're actually being choked.

Jack supposes the 'normalcy' had to end somewhere. Ryan inhales audible and Jack blushes hard. Christ, is that the kind of thing he's into? Would she even let him try something like that? Probably not, that sounds scary and dangerous, but hey, Jack considers herself an open minded person.

"You can come out," Ryan says plainly. Jack's heart jumps into her throat all at once. This is bad. It wasn't like she meant to stumble upon him masturbating. She doesn't come out immediately, first trying to think of a good excuse for having been here. She hadn't even seen his dick, what's the problem?

"Sorry," Ray's voice. It's then that Jack realises Ryan wasn't talking to her. She nearly sighs out loud. "Who fucking jerks off in their living room, anyways?" Good fucking question!

"The nice television is in here," Ryan assures simply as he pauses the video. "Also, it's _my_ living room." Ray looks at the screen halfly before averting his eyes elsewhere, anywhere but Ryan. He's doing his damned best not to look and Jack has nothing but kudos for him.

"Want to join me?"

Jack freezes and so does Ray. Is he serious? It's difficult to tell with Ryan sometimes. Does he even know that Ray likes him?

"Are you- are you for real?" Ray asks tentatively. "That's- mega gay, man."

"No," Ryan promises and then the sound of his zipper. "I was joking. I don't really think masturbating is a team effort."

"You've obviously never been in a jerk circle," Ray insists.

"Why are you in my apartment again?" Ryan inquires shortly. He's obviously a little annoyed at having been interrupted. Still, he turns the TV off without the intention of returning to it.

"Geoff wanted me to come get Jack. She's not answering her phone again," Ray explains. Of course she's not answering her phone, Geoff is a pain in the ass basically all the time. She has better things to do than listen to him drunkenly ramble.

"I don't know if she's here," Ryan says simply. "Check the guest room."

"And yet you still decided to whack it in the living room?" Ray offers with a raised brow.

"Again, it is _my_ living room," Ryan points out. "Jack's a grown woman, I'm sure she's seen her fair amount of penises." He doesn't know the half of it.

"Maybe she'd help you get off," Ray jokes but it's sour on the back of his tongue. If Ryan notices, he doesn't mention it.

"Again, not a team sport."

Jack hurries back to her room to pretend to have been doing anything else.

\- x -

Jack watches dejectedly as Ryan and Ray converse semi-privately in front of the skyrise doors. Michael's bringing the car around leaving them to hang for a few minutes before heading off to their criminal activity. Geoff takes this time to pin Gavin down in a headlock to stop him from fucking anything up before the day even begins and Gavin complains loudly.

Obviously Ray is taking this time to ask Ryan out. Jack wishes him luck but if it doesn't turn out for him, well, she won't be that distraught. She doesn't _want_ to see him fail but she'll definitely be let down if he succeeds. It's a hard place to be in. Regardless, Jack doesn't have any hard feelings. Ray had the guts to ask first and that's all there is to it.

"Hey Jack," Geoff says and Jack looks at him without the slightest hint of amusement. She's really not in the mood for his 'affectionate' bullying today. "A new bar opened up in the sleazy part of town. Thought we'd go down there and do some hustling, have some drinks, maybe jack a car while we're there."

"Why?" Jack questions shortly. "There are plenty of bars around here."

"Well fucking whatever! We'll go to one around here, then. Suck the fun out of everything why don't you?" Geoff scoffs and in the same movement, squeezes Gavin harder. Gavin struggles to try to free himself, squawking loudly all the while.

"Believe it or not, Geoff, pass," Jack assures. Whatever ridiculous situation Geoff's trying to drag her into, she's not interested in. "I'd really rather just stay home tonight." And probably masturbate until she's over Ryan or something.

"God, everything has to be difficult with you, doesn't it?" Geoff says irritably.

"As difficult as it is for you to get your dick up," Jack agrees as she nonchalantly goes back to watching Ryan and Ray.

"I know, dusty cunts like yours make my dick wicked soft," Geoff rebuttals immediately.

"Maybe if you stopped trying to suck your own dick and learn how to pleasure a woman that wouldn't be an issue," Jack says with a shrug.

"You're such a fucking bitch, Jack," Geoff huffs when he clearly doesn't have anymore snarky replies.

"Suck a dick, Geoff," Jack answers. "Preferably not your own."

\- x -

Once again, Jack finds herself paired up with Ray for most of their job. It doesn't happen that often but it's not like either of them mind, either. This time, they sit on a roof together. Jack is listening for any radio signal and Ray is sniping as many people from inside the building as he can. Ryan and Gavin are on an opposite roof with similar tasks while Geoff and Michael work extraction.

Ray isn't in any different of a mood than usual but that's not exactly out of the ordinary. He really isn't the kind of person to get excited over something as silly as a date.

"Did you get your date with Ryan?" Jack asks curiously.

"Huh?" Ray says and then, "oh," and "no."

"Oh," Jack replies. Before she jumps to any conclusions, she follows this up with, "did he turn you down?"

"Nah," Ray assures quietly as he starts to reload his rifle again. "I decided not to ask him. Too much trouble, you know? Besides, I could at least wait until I know 'im better." Know him better? That could be months especially considering neither Ray or Ryan tend to talk a lot about themselves. Jack isn't going to wait months to find out if Ryan's going to turn Ray down or not.

"Ray, I," Jack begins steadily. "If you're not going to ask him out, I am." Ray stops what he's doing to look at her. Sure enough, it probably passes his mind to shove her off the building. She doesn't blame him. After a moment, though, Ray smiles faintly.

"Yeah," he says. "I mean, go for it. I'm not gonna stop you." That wasn't exactly Jack's concern. However, Ray doesn't seem _too_ upset about it. They're both adults, after all, and it's not like she's going behind his back and seducing Ryan or something.

"If he turns out to be a serial killer or something, better you than me, huh?" Ray jokes stiffly. He's been talking to Michael obviously.

"Promise me you'll keep Geoff away from my grave," Jack jokes back and Ray offers her a small two finger salute.

\- x -

Jack is sure to give Ray plenty of time to potentially change his mind and ask Ryan out first. It's not surprising when he doesn't. Ray is rarely interested in competing over something so pointless and like she had guessed, he backed off immediately. She doesn't feel that bad about it considering she had given him ample chance.

Of course, Jack also has enough sense to wait until they're alone, too, which is more difficult than it seems. The lads would only make this more difficult and Geoff has ruined enough of her dates that she might actually sucker punch him if he tries it again. It's only a matter of time before she and Ryan are squeezed into an unmarked car together for the inconspicuous ride home post heist gone horribly wrong.

Ryan sits in the passenger's seat picking glass out of his arm as they drive in relative silence. He looks worse for the wear but his mood is light and amused. It never seems to matter to Ryan if they succeed or not; he's just in it for the thrill. He's a junkie of more than one kind but he usually hides it well.

"If you want to wait, I have a first aid kit at the apartment with antiseptic. It'll probably hurt less," Jack offers. Ryan pulls an unusually long sliver of glass from under his skin and grins from under his broken mask.

"Nah, that'll take too long," he assures. "It's not that bad." It's fucking gross, Jack can say that. He's not bleeding much anymore and fortunately, none of the glass he picks out of his arm seem to be big enough to make him bleed further. She's not sure he's going to be able to get it all out with his fingers alone. For the time being, though, she doesn't say anything else about it.

"If you're not too busy ripping glass out of your skin later, maybe we could go out for drinks?" Jack suggests casually. She figures she should just get it over with already, quick and to the point.

"Eh, I don't really drink, Jack," Ryan answers. Instant rejection, okay. Well, at least she tried. “Dinner would be much better.”

“You’re a fucking dick,” Jack sighs. Ryan laughs.

“How about that French place down town?” he offers. “Expensive and far away from anywhere the lads hang out. Not to mention probably too far for Geoff to walk it.”

“You might actually be a genius, Ryan,” Jack compliments with an amused noise on her tongue.

“Well,” Ryan replies modestly. “Yeah. Say six?”

“Yeah,” Jack agrees. Wow, she’s actually really excited. That was- that was way too easy. “Just to be clear, this is a date, right?”

“Yes Jack,” Ryan assures. “This is, in fact, a date.” He’s amused by it but Jack is shockingly not. No, someone like Ryan wouldn’t have to worry about something like that. Granted, if he does try to stand her up she’ll rip his fucking throat out with her bare hands but that probably goes without saying.

"Ow," Ryan hisses suddenly and Jack automatically glances at him. "Ah. Splinter," he murmurs as his arm continues to be completely full of glass. This is the dork she has a crush on. She can not believe.

\- x -

Jack goes for the 'fancy but not too fancy' look; short skirt, nice belt, nice shirt, nice everything actually. God, she's hot. She has to take a moment just to appreciate herself in the mirror, honestly. The heels might be a little much, Jack isn't a small woman to begin with, but they do make her legs look great. Plus, the rest of the crew being shorter than her is always great.

Without a doubt, she's still very excited. It's been months since she's been on a date, people tend to find well known gangsters to be intimidating, and she hasn't been intimate with anyone since, well, she can't really remember. It had to have been before her 'transformation'. The all too real threat of violence has largely prevented her from even bothering. However, the magnum under her skirt eases some of that worry. The semi-auto pistol under her shirt doesn't ease anything but it feels nice. The knives are just for show and cons. And dismemberment.

Yeah, Jack feels good about this.

Right on the dot of six, Ryan sends her a text letting her know he's out front. Jack grabs her clutch quickly and her keys before heading out of her apartment and down the elevator. Sure enough, there's Ryan with a car that is very clearly not his. He looks nice. Jack didn't know he owned anything other than that cruddy leather jacket. He's even washed his face, she's absolutely amazed. She's less amazed by the mask he wears catty-cornered, however.

"You own a suit," Jack comments with a smile. Ryan pushes away from the car to straighten out the lapels of said suit proudly.

"Geoff mentioned you like fancy so here I am," he says and does a little spin. "Fancy."

"You look nice," Jack assures. She pats out a small wrinkle in his arm and he coasts his hand along the small of her back naturally.

"As do you," Ryan compliments gladly. He grins as he twirls a set of keys into his fingers out of no where. "Wanna drive?"

"This is Michael's car," she states plainly.

"Borrowed it," Ryan insists. "Didn't think a motorcycle was classy."

"Borrowed as in borrowed or as in he's going to put his fist down your throat?" Jack asks. Ryan quirks an interested brown for a moment before shaking his head.

"Borrowed as in he has like eighteen cars, I doubt he'll miss one," Ryan promises with a quirk of the lips. Jack snatches the keys from him.

"You're funeral," she jokes. As she makes her way around, Ryan hops into the passenger's seat. Michael always has nice looking cars but they don't always run great, Jack's glad to say this isn't one of them. Ryan obviously knows what he's doing. Much like Ryan, Jack already knows Los Santos like the back of her hand. After all, having to run from police on a daily basis teaches one all the extra nooks and crannies of any city. The engine purrs like a beauty and Jack might just have to buy this one off Michael’s hands.

While Jack considers herself a much safer driver than anyone else in the crew, it isn’t by much. Of course, the upside of that is Ryan isn’t exactly a safe driver either and doesn’t even flinch when she takes a shortcut down the wrong side of the road let alone when she drifts into a parking space perhaps a little faster than suggested. Actually, it’s kind of nice not to have a date that’ll throw up immediately afterward. That’s one woman Jack never got a second date from.

Ryan only brushes himself off when he gets out the car. Jack takes the moment to quickly check her make up as Ryan walks around the car to open her door for her. Still flawless as to be expected. She takes Ryan's hand gladly as he politely helps her out the car. Even from here, it’s obvious the restaurant is fairly packed and bustling busy. This means little to Ryan as he simply leads her through to the front.

Unsurprisingly, his reservation name is the gun in his jacket and they’re seated immediately. Jack is sure it’s less the gun itself, everyone has guns in Los Santos, but the very clear and unmistakable emblem on it’s handle. It was simple, either give them a table or they’ll blow up the entire god damn building. Granted, Jack can’t promise Ryan won’t do that anyways. He has some issues with- uh, everything.

Jack looks around as they’re seated. It really is extraordinarily fancy, she’ll say that. There’s a guy playing violin and everything. The lady very clearly getting face from her boyfriend is slightly less fancy but it is Los Santos so no surprises there. She averts her attention back when the waiter nervously places menus for them with obvious knowledge of who they are. Ryan makes an effort not to show his face often so Jack appreciates him having a clean face today. As much as she’s used to it, she wants a date with Ryan not fucking skull man.

Besides, his face is cute.

Ryan looks over the menu and Jack does the same. Wow, she can’t read any of this. French had never really been her strong suit. Mostly because she never took French. The words she can pick out purely by coincidence don’t look particularly appealing, either. She likes French food. However, she isn't sure she'll like 'surprise testicle bull'- whatever that even means.

“May I interest you in a glass of wine?” a passing waiter offers vaguely and holds the bottle up to show them the label. At least that’s in English. Oddly enough, the label also seem to only read ‘wine’ repeatedly with no information give. Yeah, they’re still in Los Santos.

“Please,” Jack agrees and he places a glass down to pour her a drink.

“Water,” Ryan says shortly.

“Of course, sir,” he replies and leaves to likely do so. Jack swallows down half her glass right off the bat. Ryan turns his menu sideways curiously before putting it down and glancing around like he’s displeased.

“This isn’t French,” he comments halfly. “Now I don’t know French, but I can assure you without a doubt this is the furthest thing from French.”

“ _Can_ you assure that?” Jack inquires with an amused smile.

“Well, for starters,” Ryan begins. “This is a weird jargon of Spanish and Russian which, though I’m not sure, probably isn’t French.”

“You’re _probably_ right,” Jack agrees.

“Next,” he continues. “I’m going to blow my god damn brains out if I have to listen to this violin for another god damn second.”

"Is that what that noise is?” she replies curiously. Ryan stands and she watches him with faint amusement as he approaches said violin player. She’s pretty sure this date is actually over but now that she thinks about it, what a boring date this would have been. They’re far enough away that she can’t hear any discussion but the ‘music’ stops abruptly and as Ryan walks back towards her, she can see him twirling his knife between his fingers. Instead of sitting, he leans down to whisper in her ear.

“What do you say we multitask?” he offers with that ridiculous half smirk. Jack rolls her eyes and reaches to finish off her glass of wine.

“Did you plan for this?” Jack asks pointedly.

“Nah,” Ryan responds as he twists his mask around back where it rightfully belongs. He’s withdrawing his gun before she has time to offer a solid reply. Fairly, she hadn’t even considered refusing. What can she say? It was never any question; they’re cut from the same fabric. Putting her glass down, she unsheathes the pistol at her ribs in an easy movement with assistance from her deep v-neck.

“Alright! Everyone get down!”

“You heard the lady! Wallets up, heads down!”

“I don’t want to hurt anybody! He does!”

\- x -

Jack laughs when they finally lose the cops. They've managed to wedge themselves in a dark alley where, unfortunately, it would have been very hard to escape from if they'd been found. That being said, they're in the clear and Ryan joins her laughter as he takes his mask off. Now that was a date. Jack glances over her shoulder, examining the shattered back window shortly.

"Michael's gonna be pissed," she assures. Ryan peers back with an arched brow before shrugging casually.

"I'm sure he won't notice," he insists. "That'll buff out." They both laugh again. He scrounges through their loot for anything interesting. It's mostly cash and jewelry but as usual, it's never about the money. From the makeshift bag, Ryan pulls two necklaces.

"Diamonds or pearls?" he offers. "Or both."

"Diamonds," Jack replies gladly and Ryan drops the pearl necklace in order to grasp the chosen one with both hands. He leans over the middle console of the car to hold it up for her. Jack pushes her hair up and leans to meet him. As he draws it around her neck, they catch eyes.

It's the adrenaline, the thrill, that excites them, that's all. Ryan latches the chain and Jack quickly moves away after he does. She does not need to be blushing like a teenager right now. As if to distract, she flips the mirror down to check herself out. It's a pretty necklace though admittedly a bit cheap and probably fake. There's no complaining here.

"You look nice," Ryan says. Jack looks to him only to discover Ryan has put on the pearl one. "But I look better." She laughs hard. He checks himself out dramatically before apparently deciding it's not for him and taking it off again. They sit quietly for a while, catching their breath and coming down from the high of the thrill. It doesn't hurt to assure the cops are gone, either.

After a few minutes, though, Ryan speaks again.

"Guess I should get this back before Michael notices it's missing," he comments.

"Are you serious?" Jack answers in amusement. "He's going to notice." Again, Ryan glances at the back windshield. He looks to her for a moment then sits back again.

"Nah," he assures. Jack shakes her head. It takes some maneuvering to back out of the alley but she manages without fucking the car up any further. From there, it's a quiet ride back to the skyrise. She had fun tonight and hopefully, so did Ryan. If they could do this again- Jack wouldn't complain.

She parks out front, more or less where Ryan had picked her up from. The cool night air greets her as she gets out and Ryan climbs out mostly just to change seats. Jack holds the keys out for him with a mute smile and Ryan takes them after a moment. He looks at them and then up towards the top of the building.

"Thanks," Jack says gladly. "This was- I don't want to say 'nice' but it was fun." Ryan gives a slight shrug of agreement, lips twisted into a nonchalant smile. Time to kiss him. Now. Or now. Now? She's too nervous.

"Yeah," Ryan murmurs. "I'll see you later, then," he says but it's more of a statement than a question. They work together, of course he'll see her.

"Yeah," Jack echoes. She hesitates a bit before gesturing to the front doors vaguely. "Do you- want to come in?" Okay, not a kiss but close enough. Ryan smirks but he just nods like he was waiting for her to offer. Jack isn't much for sleeping on the first date but she's known Ryan for months and can make an exception whenever she damn well wants.

Ryan follows her in and to the elevator. She's getting ahead of herself. Inviting him in doesn't necessarily equal sex. The elevator doors barely have time to close before Ryan is in her space. He takes her chin in his hand without hesitation and kisses her hard. Oh thank god. She doesn't kiss back immediately but when he pulls away, she follows him a little. Ryan glances over her face shortly before kissing her again, softer.

Jack honestly doesn't have a preference. Ryan's lips are warm and vaguely cigarette flavoured and she loves it. She kisses back eagerly and this seems to kick him back into his aggression, pressing against her with bruising force and pushing her tongue against the floor of her mouth. Jack threads her fingers in his hair to hold him closer and the rural grunt he makes is ridiculously hot.

When the doors open, Jack makes a half hearted attempt to break away and Ryan chases her down desperately. She tilts her head back a little but the movement only urges Ryan to kiss her throat instead. _God_. They migrate somewhat inelegantly towards her apartment in small bursts, stopping periodically just to keep kissing. Ryan _growls_ when she pulls his hair and Jack decides right there she wants to hear that again.

The worst part is trying to get her door open. It ends up being too difficult to do with her back against it and she has to turn herself around to actually work the key in. Ryan presses against her back instantly, his hands on her hips and his mouth on her neck. When she gets the door open _finally_ , she grabs him by his tie and yanks him inside to slam the door closed behind him.

Ryan shoves her against the wall harder than really necessary but Jack barely notices. He doesn't kiss anything like she thought he would. She thought he'd be methodical and searching but he's just needy and wanting. Oddly enough, Jack is alright with this. Honestly, she'd probably be happy just kissing all night but Ryan cups her breasts warmly and she realises _no_ she wouldn't.

Jack moans into him and Ryan gets the hint bright and clear. He moves to kiss the top of her throat again, sucking little spots that make her shiver, and pushes his hands under the cloth of her shirt. It's a fucking fantastic sensation to have Ryan's hands on her chest. Nobody's really touched them before, not since she got them.

"Christ, Ryan," she gasps as he pushes the collar of her shirt down under her tits. Ryan kisses her cleavage affectionately, his fingers toying with the lace that line the edges and his tongue traces her collarbone. Jack tugs his hair again and Ryan rolls his head into it faintly, a softer groan on his throat.

Ryan pulls the edges of her bra down to expose her breasts and she shudders out another moan as he kneads her chest fondly, rolling her nipples between his fingers like he's so skilled at this. When he runs his tongue over one, her knees nearly buckle.

"Oh god," Jack groans and she covers her mouth with one hand.

"You can call me Ryan," he assures against her skin. Jack snorts out a laugh.

"Shut up," she replies amusedly. "Fuckin' weirdo." Ryan smiles a little. He coasts his lips across her breasts and Jack moans loudly when he wraps his mouth around her nipple. Wow, his tongue is useful for a lot more than lying, that's for sure. She encourages him with a string of airy 'yes's and he responds enthusiastically, sucking and mouthing at the spot so nicely.

Ryan nips her breast faintly, not even a bite, and her skin jumps in pleasure. If she was covered in hickies tomorrow, she wouldn't even be upset. He moves to give a similar treatment to her other nipple and Jack has to bite her finger just to keep herself under control.

Initially when Ryan sinks lower, she doesn't think twice about it. It's only when he's on his knees and his hands are at the edge of her skirt does she remember, oh, right. Jack swallows nervously and tilts her head against the wall to support herself. Should she- give him a warning or something? Just don't freak out, Ryan. Just don't freak out.

Ryan pushes her skirt up with his thumbs and pauses in a way that makes Jack's heart lurch. He chuckles.

"Is this a gun or are you just happy to see me?" he teases as he runs his fingers under the strap of her holster. Jack laughs nervously. Ryan unstraps it for her and, fortunately, places it on the table beside them within her reach. After all, Ryan's a big guy. As he hikes her skirt up around her waist, Jack closes her eyes.

Ryan presses his mouth against the front of her panties and Jack cringes a bit. While he's oblivious to her nervousness, he's not oblivious to other things. He stops when he pulls her frilly panties aside.

"Uh," Ryan says faintly. "Question."

"Yeah?" Jack replies after swallowing her heart back down.

"How should I go about oral sex here?" he inquires curiously. Jack breathes out in relief. "Actually, that's question one b. Question one a is, would you even like me to perform oral sex on you?"

"God please," Jack groans.

"Really, Ryan's fine," he jokes again. Jack groans again, this time in discontent of his joke that was just as shitty the first time.

"You're not funny," she assures with a grin.

"Matter of opinion," Ryan counters and he smirks up at her with a wink. Jack quickly moves to adjust herself, shifting enough to pull the tape off of her cock and untuck it from between her legs. With all her blood running south anyways, that tape was holding on for dear life.

"You know how to suck dick, right?" Jack teases. Ryan only laughs. There's no hesitation at all, he strokes her a few times to complete firmness before placing his lips against the head. She _definitely_ hasn't had anyone touch her cock intimately in years. Jack sort of regrets that now, it really is so great. More people should be like Ryan.

She leans a hand on the nearby table to brace herself on and leaves the other tangled in the back of Ryan's hair. He runs his tongue along her length before taking it in his mouth and running his hands up her hips. Why does he have to be so good with his tongue? At first, Ryan bobs his head conservatively but Jack twists his hair between her fingers and he sinks lower.

"Oh," Jack pants hotly. Ryan takes her down to the root with no trouble, nose pressed against her smooth pelvis. He sucks dick like a pro, wow. When she instinctively holds him there, he lets her and when she lets go, he pulls back slowly. Ryan laughs softly as he wipes some of the drool from his mouth with the palm of his hand.

"Good?" he questions.

"Great," Jack assures breathlessly. Ryan rolls his fingers over the dripping head, smearing precum between them and running them down her cock. He lays open mouthed kisses along the underside before swallowing her down again. It's deliberate if not teasing, Ryan tilting his head just enough that his throat spasms around her. He places his hand on the back of hers to encourage her to grab him more firmly. Jack takes the hint.

She tangles both hands into his hair and rolls her hips into him slowly, feeling his throat grasp her so willingly. Ryan adjusts himself with his hands just above her knees and his sharp blue eyes gazing up at her. Jack groans low in her throat. Wow, _wow_. His eyes flutter shut with each grind of her hips and he moans in such a sweet way.

"Jesus Christ, Ryan," Jack pants out. She bobs his head to a steady pace, fucking his throat to her leisure. Ryan looks like he couldn't be happier, either, practically slacked in her hands. Much to her displeasure, though, he pulls off before she gets the chance to cum. His lips are red and when he laughs a short laugh, it's hoarse. The thought of him not being able to talk properly tomorrow because of her is incredibly appealing.

Ryan entwines one of his hands with hers and using the wall, he gets back to his feet with the other. He kisses her again, a much wetter kiss that she leans into. Jack coasts her hands between them gladly, slipping her fingers into the waistband of his pants. It certainly wouldn't be fair to leave him wanting after that show. Ryan lets out a gravelly noise right against her ear when she rubs his hard on through his boxers and he kisses the spot behind her ear warmly.

Is that his dick? Holy shit, it's fucking huge.

"As comfortable as your entryway is, perhaps we could move somewhere else?" Ryan murmurs suggestively. Jack nods without thinking about it. She's going to need to sit down if he's going to keep this up. Ryan grasps her chin again, lips pressed against her warmly before stepping away a bit.

Jack's a little dazed but she shakes it off quick. Easily the best date she's had so far. She grabs her gun automatically before she heads down the stairs towards the living room. Ryan follows her, loosening his tie and pulling it off over his head in an easy move.

"I'm going to use your bathroom," Ryan comments and gestures his head in said direction as he takes off his blazer and tosses it on the couch. Jack nods. He smiles at her and she smiles back. Once the door's closed, Jack immediately reaches for the liquor cabinet. She yanks her skirt down as she hurriedly pours a shot of whiskey to swing back.

"Wow," she murmurs to herself. Ryan was not joking at all. Jack shoves the bottle away again and struts to her bedroom swiftly before Ryan finishes up. She tosses her guns in the bedside table along with her knives before shrugging out of her harness. Though she knows there's really no need to primp herself now, she does anyways. She fluffs her tits a bit and shimmies her skirt back into place before deciding to go ahead and just take her panties off all together.

Jack shoves her heels under the bed where she won't trip on them in the morning and slips her panties off to toss them somewhere else. She pats her hair down neatly and grins to herself. _Wow_. Ryan appears in the doorway after a few minutes, now partially undressed himself and thankfully, less bloody. His arm still looks pretty bad from earlier, but most of it is wrapped up anyways and he doesn't seem to care at all.

Ryan looks her over again and gives that smug little smirk before approaching her. Jack grabs one of the loops of his pants once he's close enough and he sits beside her gladly to continue their kissing. He's really good at that, too, Jack's sort of annoyed. Honestly, if he wasn't a mass murderer with extremely violent tendencies, he'd have it all. Everyone has their flaws.

Jack pulls at the front of his shirt, undoing the buttons as best as she can manage and Ryan returns the favour, reaching behind her to unsnap the clasp of her bra. He moves to kiss her jaw and throat once more, hands wandering over her chest in exploration. She kneads the nape of his neck with one hand and with the other, palms his dick.

"How do you want to do this?" Ryan asks hotly against her skin. Jack doesn't understand. Do what exactly? They're definitely doing something. Then she realises, oh, he probably means 'actual' sex, like penetrative sex. A bubble of panic rises to the back of Jack's throat. She hadn't thought this through that far and certainly hadn't considered anything like that. Thinking about it now, she comes to the conclusion very quickly that she doesn't like that idea at all. What was wrong with what they're doing now, anyways?

"I'd rather- not?" Jack replies unsurely. Ryan pulls away without hesitation, taking his hands off her completely and unfortunately, his lips, too. Fuck, she fucked it up. He nods faintly.

"Yeah, okay," Ryan agrees.

"Are you leaving?" Jack asks quickly. "I mean, we could do, uh, other stuff?"

"Yeah," Ryan says again. "Sure. I'm just gonna-" he gestures to his dick slightly. "Take care of this."

"I can do that," Jack assures to which Ryan looks confused.

"You said you don't want to do this?" he points out.

"No I- wait. What's 'this' exactly?" Jack questions before this gets any further away from her. She's pretty sure she's already messed everything up.

"Believe it or not, Jack, I was referring to sex," Ryan states matter of factly.

"That's what I thought," she snips back irritably. "I'd rather not- with that part." This only manages to make Ryan more confused, however.

"That part? Jack, that's- what does 'sex' infer to you?" he finally asks.

"Uh," Jack replies. "You putting your dick somewhere I don't actually want it?" Ryan holds his finger to his lips quietly for a moment. That obviously wasn't the correct answer.

"Mm, okay," Ryan says slowly. "First of all, what you said is not now nor will it ever be sex in any way, shape, or form," he assures. "Secondly, that's why I was asking you what you wanted. What are you comfortable with?"

"Oh," Jack answers quietly. Fairly, she's not exactly used to people, let alone guys, being so- courteous? She's not above breaking fingers or anything else for that matter. It's weird how quickly people learn to keep their hands to themselves when they don't have hands anymore.

"Jack," Ryan says with a faint chuckle. "What kind of guys have you been dating? By name, preferably. I will make their insides be on the outside."

"Trust me," Jack promises. "I would have beaten you to that." She leans into him again and he meets her mildly at first, a chaste kiss, before shifting to enter her personal space again. Jack trails her lips over his jaw warmly. "I still want to do 'this', just nothing, uh, penetrative? Down below. Okay?"

"Of course," Ryan agrees without any argument. She got a crush on the right person. Ryan tilts her head away from his jaw to kiss her lips yet again. Jack adjusts herself enough to undo the button and zipper of Ryan's slacks, dipping her hand into the opening to stroke his cock over his boxers. That thing is honestly ridiculous. She traces the outline with her fingers and Ryan lets out another growl she loves.

Ryan rolls his hips up to meet her hand eagerly and he returns the favour by rubbing her through her skirt. Jack rests her head on his shoulder, panting hotly against his skin as he coasts his hand under her skirt to stroke her cock between his fingers. She kisses his throat warmly and he just gives her more and more room to do as she pleases. He's very- yielding, actually; she's surprised. It's cute. She bites his Adam's apple and it urges a grunt from his lips.

"Ryan," Jack murmurs against his neck. "Wanna fuck my tits?"

"Oh, I would love that, Jack," Ryan groans. She leans to kiss his mouth again and he presses against her so fiercely she's nearly knocked back. It's not intentional at any rate. He really is just a giant nerd puppy. Jack ushers him to stand and Ryan breaks away from her lips with some difficulty, leaning over as long as possible without breaking contact.

Jack grins up at him, though, running her hand up his thigh and kneading his hard on between her fingers. Ryan lets out a gravelly sigh when she properly undoes the front of his slacks and coaxes his dick out through the opening of his boxers. She strokes him slowly, gathering the precum over her fingers and slicking his cock with it.

"Jack," Ryan groans appreciatively. Fondly, she presses her lips against the head and he shudders noticeably. There's no way she's going to even try to get her mouth around this thing, that's for certain, but she runs her tongue along the underside and it's honestly more than enough to make Ryan moan.

Eagerly, Jack shifts to sit on the very edge of the bed and straightens her back up to angle herself better. She'll admit, she's always sort of wanted to try this. Ryan watches her with heavy breathes on his tongue and a faint curve of a smile to his lips. Jack pulls him closer by his thighs to stand between her knees and fortunately their heights match up fairly well this way. She rubs his dick against her cleavage and the gesture pulls another hot growl from Ryan's throat.

Ryan feathers his fingers through her hair and Jack grins at him. She presses her breast together between her hands and squeezes them around Ryan's cock with a fair amount of pressure. He twitches his hips forward a touch and Jack gladly rubs her tits against him. With faint little movements, she rolls her back to thrust his cock between her plump breasts, urging heated groans from Ryan.

"How's that?" Jack asks as she teases her fingers over the head.

"Nice," Ryan assures inelegantly. "I mean, fuck Jack," he tries to correct with even less grace. Jack takes it as a compliment. It doesn't take a lot to make Ryan flub but it certainly takes a lot to eject his fancy vocabulary from his mouth. She presses her mouth to the head of his dick and runs her tongue over the slit. He makes a jerky motion forward, thrusting against her tits and shuddering in pleasure. Jack moves a little quicker.

"You can come on me," Jack says sultrily and presses her breasts together to apply more pressure. Ryan's fingers dig into the back of her head momentarily but he's careful not to pull her hair at all. He moans low and raspy in the back of his throat, thrusting into her breasts eagerly at the suggestion.

"Fuck," Ryan groans and the gravely noise punctuates his orgasm. Jack rolls her tits against him slowly and he pants quietly in the aftermath. Wow that was- wow. Of course, Ryan isn't quite done and he leans down to kiss her again heatedly. He ends up knocking her back with the force of it and Jack settles on her forearms comfortably.

"Oh," Jack moans as Ryan palms her aching cock. He kisses down her chest until she tosses her head back and when he runs his tongue over her breast, she shudders. Ryan laps the come off her chest as he runs a hand under her skirt and strokes her hard on between his fingers. "Christ, Ryan."

"This okay?" he asks against her hot skin. Jack hurriedly nods. It's so much better than okay. At the assurance, though, Ryan gladly keeps at it. He rolls one of her nipples with his tongue and with the same motion, guides his fingers across the head of her cock. Jack moans loudly under the attention, working her hips into his hand with every gesture.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," she pants breathlessly. Ryan sucks a sensitive patch of skin on her cleavage and she comes right there. She has to catch her breath afterward, breathing heavily as Ryan softly mouths at her tits and palms the inside of her thigh.

"Wow," Jack murmurs.

"Thanks," Ryan replies smugly. She snorts an airy laugh as she lies flat on the bed and Ryan lies with her. He kisses her neck fondly and Jack's pretty sure she could fall asleep like this. After a few moments, Ryan gets the sense to at least pull himself completely onto the bed so Jack follows his example. They kiss warmly for a bit but Ryan's already half asleep. Men, honestly.

She supposes she can consider this a successful date.

\- x -

Jack awakens to her mobile vibrating angrily on her side table. She reaches for it to check and upon discovering seven text messages from Geoff, ignores it. Instead, she tiredly rolls herself over and is met with Ryan's back. He's still here. Honestly, she's surprised about a lot of things. She had been so worried Ryan would freak out, she hadn't really considered anything else.

People like Ryan are hard to find in Los Santos especially considering how dangerous it is. Jack's felt in danger just walking through certain parts of town and she runs with the FAKE, easily the most respected gang in this shitty town. This concern still lingers, actually. Ryan may be fine with it but how many people would stop thinking of her as a woman if they knew? This really needs to stay between them. Not that she believes Ryan is going to run out and tell anyone, either.

Quietly, Jack traces the tattoos that line Ryan's spine. They're tally marks though she's not sure what for and she counts them as she runs her finger down his spine. Twenty, thirty, seventy, a hundred and then some. Ryan awakes gradually, glancing over his shoulder at her halfly before yawning and pushing a hand through his hair.

"For a cold blooded killer, you're very cute sometimes," she assures teasingly. Ryan arches a brow at her.

"For a medic who'd probably rip my throat out with her bare hands, you're very cute most the time," he answers.

"Most the time?" Jack inquires.

"All the time doesn't sound convincing," he insists. She laughs a little and leans down to kiss him. Ryan brushes his fingers through her hair softly, a gentle gesture that's surprising from him. Well, much less surprising after last night. Jack lies herself against his back closely and he breathes an easy breath like he's going to go back to sleep.

"Did you know I was trans, Ryan?" Jack asks quietly.

"I can't say I really thought about it," Ryan replies.

"So you didn't?" she confirms.

"I suppose not," he agrees. "Is there a problem?"

"Nah," Jack promises softly. "You were just really cool about it. Most people aren't."

"I'm a grown man, Jack," Ryan assures with a scoff of a laugh. "I've seen more than my fair share of penises."

"You've dated a lot of trans women, then?" Jack pries nosily. Ryan doesn't seem to mind.

"You'd be the first," he answers.

"Are you, you know, straight?" she murmurs, resting her head over his shoulder.

"I'm not picky," Ryan promises. "And I don't find it relevant."

"Huh," is all Jack says. He's a weird dude. Still, it's comforting to know. Jack isn't sure what she'd do if he was just one of those guys with a fetish to satisfy. She's unfortunately met guys like that- girls, too. It's just nice for once.

Ryan's nice.

Okay, maybe that's not the right word.

Jack settles her head over his shoulder and Ryan goes back to sleep easily. After a few minutes, she joins him. Geoff can wait a bit. 


	2. do ryans dream of Eletric Sheep?

"Jack?" Geoff questions when there's too long of a silence. Ray lowers his sniper rifle a bit to glance back at him. "God dammit Jack, where the hell are you? Ryan?"

No answer.

That's a little concerning. Geoff doesn't act concerned, though. Granted, if they had left the van, Michael would have seen it and hopefully said something by now. Judging by his radio silence, he hasn't seen anything. Or he's making out with Gavin and not paying attention. Hard to say. Geoff gets up from their roosting spot and begrudging heads to the edge of the roof to climb down and check for himself.

Ray decides to follow him mostly so Geoff doesn't fucking forget about him on the rooftop again. Geoff slides down the ladder and Ray is right behind him. As they approach the van, nothing looks out of place. There's still a smouldering cigarette by the driver's window and everything.

Geoff bangs on the side of the van as he walks past before ripping the driver's side door open.

"You know, this job would work a lot better if one of you- Jesus fucking Christ!" Geoff throws his head back suddenly and Jack makes a loud yelp. Ray peers around curiously to see what's happening. Geoff blocks most the view but Jack's tits are totally out and she's perched on Ryan's lap snugly.

"Score!" Ray calls loudly. "Ryan's hittin' that!"

" _Fuck off_ ," Ryan snaps out harshly and yanks the door closed again all at once just as Jack tries to cover herself.

"Wot?" Gavin replies over the com. "No way. With who?"

"Holy shit! Are you two teenagers?" Geoff yells irritably. "We're in the middle of a job!"

"What do you mean 'with who'? With fucking Jack!" Ray assures immediately.

"No way!" Gavin laughs.

"Why don't you two love birds let us know when you're ready to continue, huh‽" Geoff shouts at the van and kicks his foot against the door. Ray laughs but he feels sick. He guesses Jack really did ask Ryan out and Ryan said yes. Well obviously. Jack's, like, ridiculously hot and he's, well, a twig. It's kind of disappointing but Ray's happy for them. Sort of.

"Are you blushing, Geoff?" Ray asks with a teasing grin.

"You're blushing!" Geoff snaps back. "Shut up!"

"Don't tell me," Michael laughs. "Geoff saw Jack's titties."

"Shut up!" Geoff demands again. "Everyone back in positions!" Ray tries not to let it bother him too much. He and Ryan probably wouldn't have worked out, anyways. Most of Ray's relationships don't work out.

\- x -

Okay, he changed his mind. Ryan and Jack making out in Geoff's kitchen sort of bothers him. They at least try to do it somewhere besides the middle of the room, unlike Lindsay and Michael, but it's not much better. It's just weird to see the two of them in one corner of the kitchen sucking each other's faces off. Ray is trying not to be jealous, Jack did give him a chance, but it wasn't exactly a fair chance. How could Ray have a chance against Jack?

It's over and done with now and Ray knows there's no point in dwelling on it. That being said, he's totally still dwelling on it and so is Geoff. Ray isn't exactly upset to say but Geoff is fucking furious. He hasn't said anything, and he probably won't, but it's way to obvious to everyone. Well, almost everyone. Jack seems oblivious but it could be that she's purposefully ignoring him, too.

Geoff really has no reason to be angry. He's known Jack for years! He could have asked her out literally at any point before Ryan came along. Then again, maybe he did. Ray doesn't think Geoff would be this angry if she had turned him down in the past; he's really not that kind of guy. Of course, this is also the guy that shows Jack he likes her by _bullying her hard_.

"I'm tellin' ya, you should have just talked to her," Michael murmurs as he cracks the cap off his beer and tosses it onto the coffee table. Geoff makes a loud, disgruntled noise but doesn't reply with actual words. "Like, you know, a normal person, I mean. Not by sending her drunk texts at two in the morning."

"I thought you were going to bang Ryan," Geoff insists, looking at Ray irritably. Ray shrugs animatedly, both hands otherwise occupied with his controller.

"Dude, I'm pretty sure he's hella straight," he assures. Ryan supposedly 'dated' Lindsay for a while and now Jack. Outside of that, he hasn't shown interest in anyone else. What's Ray supposed to think? Ryan's the guy that keeps working while the rest of them check out the attractive lady passing by.

"No way," Gavin rebuttals from the other controller. "He's too weird."

"The fuck does that have to do with anything?" Michael scoffs sharply.

"I'm just saying!" Gavin squawks.

"Shut up," Geoff instructs with a roll of the eyes. He stares irritably at their new 'love birds' in the kitchen before glaring at the television in silent anger.

"There's no way that's going to last, though, right?" Michael comments halfly. "Like, they bitch at each other regularly. Twenty bucks says Ryan puts his foot in his mouth before the end of the month."

"Thirty says Ryan flips his shit first," Geoff grumbles.

"Aw, come on, they're kinda cute together," Gavin offers. Ray glances at them again halfly. Nah, he doesn't see it. Then again, that could be because of Ryan's weird fucking face paint. That makes everything weird.

"Shut up," Geoff snaps again. "God, you can't stop running your mouth for one goddamn second. No one asked you."

"Someone's jealous," Michael says under his breath.

"I'm not jealous!" Geoff barks. "What do I care if Jack wants to date some psychopath in a mask? I don't. Don't answer that."

"Do you wanna talk about?" Ray offers jokingly.

"No! Shut up," Geoff huffs. "There's nothing to talk about."

"You're so fucking transparent," Michael assures. Geoff makes another loud, indistinguishable sound to end this discussion completely. It works.

\- x -

Jack ruffles her hair tiredly as she browses through her fridge for some sort of breakfast. It's been a few months since she's been shopping to be honest. That never seems to be a top priority with this lifestyle. Still, she's getting rather fond of the meals Ryan cooks at his apartment and she's strongly considering shopping so he can cook here, too.

Yesterday's Freckled Bitches doesn't sound too appealing right now.

Instead of wasting any more time looking for something not here, she heads to the bathroom to get ready for the day. There's a place down the street with great breakfast burritos that have been a staple in her diet since she moved in here.

Ryan's standing in front of the mirror already, staring at the label of a pill bottle in great contemplation. They stay in one another's apartments at their leisure. Sometimes it's nice to come home after an intense job and just flop down in Jack's bed to sleep off the soreness. Other times it's nice to get away from the racket the crew can make and enjoy the peace Ryan's apartment has.

"Something wrong?" Jack questions. Ryan looks at her halfly. He shakes his head.

"No, just trying to remember if I took one last night," he says. Jack joins him at the sink and goes about washing her face idly.

"When do you usually take them?" she asks.

"Before I eat," he murmurs.

"I don't remember you taking anything before you ate yesterday," Jack offers. She's not sure how helpful this really is. Ryan's still secretive about some things but so is Jack. Ryan makes a face of discontent but he twists it open and pops a pill in his mouth before washing it down with water from the sink.

"I used to remember by putting a rubber band on the bottle," she mentions. "Put it on the top when I took it in the morning and move it to the bottom when I took it at night. It helped." Jack shrugs a bit. Ryan glances at her before looking back to the bottle with a curiously raised brow.

"Smart. I'll do that, thanks," he assures. They more or less get ready together, stood side by side at the double faced sink. Though their habits differ a lot, it's nothing that, so far, bothers one another. With the kind of stuff they go through on a daily basis, it's kind of hard to be bothered by such mundane stuff. Jack's seen Ryan dig a bullet out of his own shoulder with dirty fucking fingers; she thinks she can deal with some odd habits.

As Jack combs her hair, Ryan shaves his scruff then they decorate their faces together. Jack's make up requires a slightly more skilled touch than the white paint Ryan smears on his face with his hand. Ryan turns to her a touch and Jack looks at him curiously.

"Am I pretty?" he asks and smiles a ridiculous smile with his half finished paint. Jack snorts a laugh.

"God no," she assures.

"You're a bad liar, Jack," Ryan hums. Jack grins as she shakes her head. He steals a makeup sponge from her collection of stuff to clean up the edges while she rolls on her favourite red lipstick; Fear. A gift from Geoff oddly enough. He has good taste.

She takes the curlers out of her hair lastly and Ryan seals his face paint with a faceful of sealant. Perfect. Well, she'll probably want to put a bra and shirt on at some point but from the neck up, she's ready. Ryan leans to kiss her faintly and Jack gladly meets him. This sort of intimacy is kind of nice.

"Ug," Jack yanks away to cover her mouth and nose. "God, that sealant is strong."

"A man sweats a lot in that mask," Ryan insists simply with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Gross," Jack scoffs.

"Says the lady dating me," Ryan rebuttals.

"Mistakes happen," Jack promises jokingly. The door buzzer alerts them both and Ryan points at her in assurance that this discussion isn't over before heading to answer the door. "Mistakes with a great ass."

"I heard that," Ryan calls back.

"You were supposed to," Jack answers. She follows him into the living room and flips on the news as she tugs on a loose shirt hanging around. It's Ryan's obviously by the way it doesn't fit quite right and is just lying around for no reason. It's comfortable, though, and means she doesn't have to bother with finding a shirt or bra of her own until at least after breakfast.

"Yo, job's moved up," Michael announces as he lets himself in and Ryan closes the door behind him. Well so much for that. "Geoff wants this guy bipped before lunch. You're comin' with me to grab the truck."

"I thought Ryan and I were taking the mount?" Jack replies apprehensively. Michael shrugs.

"I'm just relaying info here," he assures. "Geoff wants you driving and me on the gun. Ryan needs to be with Ray and Lindsay grabbing intel and Geoff and Gavin are hitting the safe."

"So we're deviating from the plan completely?" Jack confirms with a sigh. Last minute changes always go over swimmingly around here, don't they? This has been a week in the works and now Geoff has decided it's not going to work? Then again, Jack can't be surprised. He does this more often than not.

"That sounds boring," Ryan complains halfly. "Everyone else gets to do the fun stuff."

"Geoff's the boss," Michael says and he shrugs vaguely as he approaches Jack's side.

"Barely," Jack snorts. He reaches into the bag he's brought with him and hands her a foil wrapped burrito, still warm and delicious.

"Brought food if it helps," Michael assures and he passes one to Ryan as well.

"Well, thank you, Michael," Jack hums gladly. As long as there's food first, she thinks she can manage. She starts unwrapping it as she heads back for the bedroom. "Mm, lemme finish getting dressed and we can go."

"I should help," Ryan murmurs in a suggestive tone as he trails after her.

"You two are worse than Lindsay and Gavin, I fucking swear," Michael promises and he makes a face of mute disgust. He doesn't make to stick around long, already heading for the door again. "Meet me outside in five. With clothes on, preferably."

"No promises," Ryan calls back just as Michael slams the door closed. Come on, that's a lot to ask for.

\- x -

'You wanna watch the game, Geoff?' 'Oh, it's not weird or anything, Geoff.' 'We're just dudes being bros except one of us has a smoking hot bod, Geoff.' 'I only see you as a friend, Geoff, so it's cool if we hang out without anyone else around' says Jack. Okay, maybe she didn't say most of that but she might as well have. Geoff's also not sure why Jack sounds vaguely like a lady version of Ryan in his head but he's had a lot of shots so far tonight.

"Twenty bucks says fiftythree gets kicked before half time," Jack says as she pops the cap off another beer with the edge of the bar. Jack's 'one of the guys' attitude has always weirded Geoff out a little but fairly, that's probably because he's awful with women and them showing even a remote interest in the same things as him only makes it worse. It's easy to say he's bad at talking to women when they don't share similar interests but suddenly they have stuff in common and Geoff's just an idiot that can't make conversation.

Granted, it's usually not hard to talk with Jack. It was easier before when he could flirt-slash-bully her but then she had to start dating Ryan. Ryan's a fucking freak! Geoff's pretty sure there's legitimately something wrong with him, he's a junkie, the fucking mask is creepy as fuck, not to mention the time he tried to blow them up and laughed it off as a joke. She's always gone for the handsome, charming, tattooed ones in the past. What happened to that?

He has to have a monster cock, right? What else could it be?

Geoff throws back another shot before reaching over the bar to grab for a different bottle. He needs something stronger for this. Or something lighter. Maybe drinking isn't the solution. Oh man, he really is drunk.

"Are you serious about this?" he asks as he pours himself another shot and then Jack one. She looks at him halfly before looking back to the mounted TV and crushing another walnut open between her palms.

"What? That Rodney is going to get ejected probably in the next five minutes? Yeah," she laughs. "Did you not see him break what's-his-name's leg last game? I'm surprised they still let him play after that."

"No!" Geoff snaps irritably. He hasn't even been watching the game, honestly. Nor is he sure why he bet on the outcome because Jack is always right and he doesn't even know who's playing. It's been a busy week.

"Alright?" Jack replies in mild bemusement and she shrugs his foul response off dismissively. It's so annoying. She knows he likes her. He hasn't sent her drunk, three am texts for the last several years as a joke and he's drunk a lot so that's a lot of texts. If she'd just say she wasn't interested they could move on with their lives- like Jack already has.

"I meant, are you serious about dating Ryan?" Geoff corrects a bit softer. Jack pauses only momentarily before turning to give him an unamused look. She downs her shot and once again, turns back to the game.

"I'm definitely _dating_ Ryan," she assures plainly. "I don't know what you mean."

"I mean- he's a freak, come on," Geoff insists. "He's gonna hurt you or something. Guarantee it."

"Oh yeah, it's him that's going to get me," she scoffs sourly. "Not the cops or the other gangs or the wrecks or, you know, the bombs. Clearly it's going to be Ryan. Right." Alright, he sees her point there.

"Ryan's not," he sighs. "Ryan's not really boyfriend material, Jack. Just ask Lindsay. I'm just trying to look out for you."

"You can't even look out for yourself, Geoff," Jack answers irritably as she smashes another walnut open. "Besides, I really don't think my relationship is any of your business."

"It is when you're both working for me," Geoff snaps back. Jack shoots him a cold stare but she doesn't say anything. "Dating coworkers is just a bad idea, anyways." It's definitely a flimsy argument but he doesn't have much else in his dumb, drunk haze.

"I'm not talking about this," Jack promises with a small shake of the head. "If you have a problem with Ryan and I dating, why don't you take it up with Ryan?" A jolt goes down Geoff's spine just considering it. Ryan's a scary dude when he wants to be and telling him he needs to break up with Jack doesn't sound like something Geoff wants to do. Sure, he's mostly harmless but Jack isn't. She slashed his tires last time he sabotaged one of her dates! Fairly, that woman was an asshole and Jack should have thanked him.

Geoff doesn't say anything else but instead just quietly sulks over his shot glass. Jack ignores him, more than content to watch the game in silence. If he was trying to piss her off, mission accomplished.

"You owe me twenty dollars, by the way," Jack murmurs after a few minutes of silence.

"What?" Geoff huffs back. "Why?"

"Ryan's a total M," she assures.

"He's a what?" he replies in bemusement. The information clicks suddenly. "Oh gross! I didn't want to know that! It's bad enough you two flaunt your sex habits around already!"

"We do not!" Jack bites back, insulted. "And even if we did, we're no where near as bad as Gavin! I shouldn't know what that boy's balls look like! Or yours for that matter!"

"Genitals are not inherently sexual!" Geoff argues loudly.

"They are when they're stuffed inside a lady!" Jack answers.

"Okay, that was once! And I told you, I thought it was my hotel room! We were right next door!" Geoff insists.

"No we weren't!" Jack assures stubbornly. The sound of sirens cease their somewhat playful argument immediately. That would be the police. Geoff glances around the bar curiously to see if any of the bodies have moved but it doesn't look like it. Someone outside must have called 911. Maybe they should have locked the doors.

"Man, I can't get through one game without interruption this season," Jack sighs as she pushes away from the bar. Geoff does the same.

"Are you good to drive?" he asks just as she goes to finish her beer and she looks at him unhappily.

"Yes," she grumbles and sets the bottle aside reluctantly. "Give me the keys."

"See, I knew I kept you around for a reason," Geoff complements as he finishes off her drink for her and hands her the keys.

"You wouldn't know what to do without me," Jack insists. She's right; heart wrenching crush or not.

"Well," Geoff argues. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

\- x -

Jack rubs the inside of one of her thighs mutely, trying to disburse the uncomfortable sensation making her skin crawl. The two things she has to do is stop wearing heels when she goes anywhere with the lads and never go bare legged running in a skirt. She forgot how awful chaffing is.

"I have to order more bandelettes," she murmurs vaguely to herself. Ryan is close by, though, and she always seems to talk to herself more when someone else is around.

"Should I kiss it better?" he offers though his attention remains on the television. In one hand, he holds a little mint tin he's recycled for other purposes. The other he uses to rub his 'habit' into his gums with his middle finger.

"Weirdly enough, I don't think that would help," Jack assures.

" _Well_ , we don't know that for sure, though," Ryan insists with a faint laugh and distant grin. He seems distracted; more so than usual. Still, he snaps his tin of coke closed and shoves it back into his pocket when she comes to join him on the couch. His unfocused gaze fixates on her when she gets close and he smiles a little more coherently.

"Are you alright?" Jack asks curiously. Ryan nods.

"I'm fine," he promises. He'll typically tell her when he's not. This is less out of trust, however, and more on the fact that if he's not okay, he knows he'll need help. Ryan doesn't trust easy but Jack feels like he's trying. They haven't hurt each other yet. Well, not seriously.

She sits along side him and he shifts her legs into his lap until they're both comfortable. Jack never would have guessed Ryan would be so affectionate. He pets her thighs softly and nonchalantly says, "there is something I want to talk about, though."

"Uh huh," Jack replies. She's not sure if she should be worried or not. Half the conversations had in the crew are to some degree worrying, after all.

"I was waiting to mention it, obviously, but it's pretty important, I think. Do you know what polyamory is?" Ryan asks. Jack immediately doesn't like where this is going.

"Uh," she murmurs apprehensively. "Isn't that, like, having a lot of wives?" If Ryan tells her he has a bunch of wives, she might lose it.

"That's polygamy," Ryan assures. "But close, yes. Polyamory is having more than one romantic partner."

"Are you dating someone else?" Jack asks with more bite than completely intended. Oh, she'll kill him.

"No," he answers shortly. "But I'm bringing this up because I'm not monogamous; I'm polyamorous."

"So you _want_ to cheat on me?" Jack confirms incredulously.

"No," Ryan repeats. "Polyamory isn't cheating. Again, this is why I'm bringing this up. You are, currently, the only person I'm dating."

"But you do want to 'date' other people?" Jack corrects fleetingly. She's honestly too shocked to really be upset over this. Things had been going well she thought.

"Well, yes," Ryan murmurs. "I have no desire to stop dating you, clearly, but yes. Obviously if that's something you wouldn't be comfortable with, I understand." Jack's knee jerk reaction is _no_ , of course she wouldn't be comfortable with that, what the fuck, but she withholds. He's serious about this. She doesn't know what to say.

"It would be a two way street, as well. Granted you're also comfortable dating other people," Ryan continues when she doesn't respond. It sounds like he's trying to break up with her in the most roundabout way possible. Why would she want to date other people? "Jack?"

"I," she stammers. "Is something wrong? I mean, you don't just want to start dating other people for no reason." Ryan sighs. He rubs the corner of his eyebrow a bit before flourishing his hand dismissively.

"This obviously makes you uncomfortable, never mind," he says with mute discontent.

"Well wait," Jack says quickly. "If something isn't working, we should talk about it." They are still both criminals and, whether she wants to admit it or not, their relationship is naturally volatile.

"You've completely missed the point," Ryan promises. "There's nothing wrong. I simply believe a person is capable of loving more than one person." Did he just admit he loves her and in the same breath admit to wanting to be with other people? That just sounds so _sleazy_.

"You- okay," Jack replies slowly. How is she supposed to take this, exactly? "So what are you suggesting? You- or we, I guess, just get to fuck other people whenever we want?" Fear lurches into her heart all at once with the thought _if I was a real woman_. Jack boots the thought out of her head so fast she could've given herself whiplash. She'll never go back to thinking that way.

"Jesus, no," Ryan answers with clear and pointed annoyance. "That would be more of an open relationship, which I suppose does fall under the category of 'polyamory' but no. There would be discussion before hand about guidelines and the such. Communication is important in polyamorous relationships."

"Uh huh," Jack murmurs. She's still confused, and slightly horrified, but that sounds better than what she initially thought. However, it seems ever weirder that they'd have to discuss rules on dating other people. The 'other people' part is really what gets caught in her throat.

"It's okay if you'd rather not," Ryan assures. "I know it's unusual, I guess? Monogamy is- cool, too." Now he's just backpedaling because Jack isn't onboard. It's a little late for that.

"You brought this up, does that mean you have someone-s in mind?" she questions and tries not to make it sound too harsh. Someone's going to fucking die, that's what she's understanding so far. Ryan doesn't answer immediately but looks at her without expression. He looks away again. Her throat seizes up.

"Yeah," he says. "I do, actually." Jack forces a laugh.

"Oh, _great_ ," she replies coldly. "Fantastic. Who?" Again, Ryan pauses like he doesn't want to say. Fairly, her reaction might have something to do with that.

"Ray," he finally admits.

"Ray?" Jack repeats. Ryan nods. She's less upset than she thought she'd be. When he said he wanted to date other people, Jack assumed, well, she's not really sure what she assumed. Does Ryan even _know_ any other people? Ray sort of makes sense. She knew Ryan had been fond of him before.

"You want to date me _and_ Ray?" she confirms again.

"I," Ryan begins. "Don't want to talk about this anymore." He's no different than a school boy with a crush.

"No," Jack insists sharply. "You brought it up. You can't just drop it like that. Do you want to date me and Ray both?" Ryan hesitates again, shifting his face mildly as he tries to load.

"I would like to give it a chance," he agrees. "Again, if you and he are comfortable with that. He'd obviously know, too. And, of course, we'd, you and I, would talk about it first. Granted you're, uh, I'm just repeating myself now."

"Uh huh," Jack answers without knowing what else to really say. This is a lot of information to take in all at once. If he's so interested in Ray, why doesn't he just break up with her and get it over with? Why even date her in the first place?

"I sorta regret bringing this up now," Ryan murmurs. "Forget about it." Firstly, there's no way she's going to just up and forget about it. Secondly, this is way more than Ryan just being an asshole. This is weird, definitely, but he's obviously done it before. It's not like she's going to tell him he can't be who he is, even if it's fucking weird; Ryan's fucking weird.

"No, no," Jack says not as quick as she would have liked. "This is just all really new to me," she admits. "If you want to, uh, Ray, sure, yeah. I- yeah." Hey, she considers herself an open minded person.

"Thanks," Ryan answers passively. "But I think this is something you should think about, Jack. It's really alright if you're uncomfortable with it. I don't want you to be unhappy."

"Won't you be unhappy otherwise?" Jack points out.

"No," Ryan says too slow for it to be completely true. "But I admit, I would probably be a little anxious, I guess. If I start dating Ray, it wouldn't be fair to just dump him if you decide to change your mind later." Jack probably knows that better than he does. She's not sure even now if Ryan is, or ever has been, aware of Ray's feelings. Ryan's secretive- except for now when he's way too open.

"I'm gonna think about it," Jack agrees softly. She's glad for that, at least. Perhaps she hadn't meant that 'yeah' as enthusiastically as she tried to make it sound. Knowing it's Ray that Ryan wants to date brings everything about this down to earth but it's still bizarre to her. Which feels really weird coming from a pansexual trans woman but there it is.

"Okay," Ryan murmurs and he rubs the front of her thighs gently with his hand. When Jack leans over to kiss him, he meets her gladly, cupping her face with his hand and kissing her so affectionately; just like always.

He did total drop the L word, though.

\- x -

The buzzer startles Geoff awake. He sits up too quickly and all the blood rushes out of his head and into everywhere else. Very quickly he’s aware how uncomfortable he is, tangled in the blankets of his bed and still fully dressed. It’s hot and the half empty bottle of beer he somehow managed not to spill in his sleep is lukewarm. Knowing this, he gives it a taste anyways.

“Gross,” but lukewarm beer is still beer. Geoff pushes the empty cans on his side table off onto the floor to see his clock and the bright red numbers practically blind him in the dark room. It’s only nine thirty? He’s got to stop drinking so early. The buzzer sounds again and he jumps, having already forgotten why he was awake in the first place. Right, someone’s at his door at night thirty at night. Tiredly, Geoff sets his beer, now a little less than half full, on his bedside table and rolls out of his bed and into the floor. With him come the blankets and for a moment, he just lies on the floor with aluminum cans and and familiar regret. There goes the buzzer again.

“I’m coming!” Geoff shouts irritably as he pushes himself upward. The fuck wants him at nine at night? Who the fuck wants him ever except at the most inopportune times. Of course, he already knows the answer to both these questions, his crew. Gotta love them. Except he doesn’t. He wants to go the fuck to sleep. Groggily, Geoff wanders out of his room using the wall to keep himself upright. By the time he reaches the door, the buzzer sounds again and Geoff yanks the door open.

“What? What do you want? Can’t a man be drunk in peace?”

“You’re always fucking drunk,” Jack replies sharply. Oh. Geoff is still pretty annoyed but slightly less now. Jack will usually leave him alone unless she direly needs something. Something’s probably on fire. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen Michael all night. That’s probably not good news. As he walks away from the door, Jack follows him in.

“If Michael’s in jail, he can stay there until morning,” Geoff scoffs.

“What?” Jack says in bemusement. “I don’t know where the fuck Michael is. I- jesus christ, what did he do?” Geoff shrugs vaguely.

“Unno. Just taking a guess,” he murmurs. “What do you want then?”

“I just,” she sighs. “I thought I needed someone to talk to and here I am for some reason.” She shakes her head. Of course since they’re such good besties she came to him first. Well, second if they’re talking realistically. Lindsay is probably MIA again which is generally when Jack comes to him for something. Usually it’s not to ‘talk’, though. That’s a new one.

“Hey,” Geoff grumbles as he rounds the couch and finds Gavin unconscious in his spot. “Baby. You gotta go back to your own apartment, come on.” He shoves Gavin off the couch and the lad awakens with a loud yelp.

“Go home,” Geoff repeats slowly as Gavin sits up. He mumbles out a few slurred, still drunk words as he rubs his eye in his palm. “I don’t know why Jeremy is in the broom closet, either, but take him with you.”

“Jeremy’s here?” Gavin murmurs bemusedly. Geoff gives him a nudge with the foot to get him moving and Gavin tiredly gets to his feet and stumbles out of the living room. As he fumbles around trying to leave the apartment, Geoff flops onto the warm spot on the couch. He pats the spot beside him and Jack joins him at a distance, crossing her arms under her breast- her lush, beautiful tits. Geoff throws his head back, covering his eyes with his hand. He’s too drunk for this.

“You wanted to talk about something- or something?” Geoff murmurs. Behind them, the door closes as Gavin leaves hopefully with Jeremy. Jack glances over her shoulder to assure this is the case before looking out over the city view before them. It gets tiring after awhile; it gets tiring after seeing it from an exploding helicopter several miles above it. For a moment, Jack doesn’t say anything. Or possibly longer, it’s hard for Geoff to actually tell at the moment, still somewhere between falling asleep and still being drunk.

“It’s Ryan,” she sighs reluctantly. He’s very suddenly a lot more awake and a lot more aware.

“Ryan?” Geoff repeats. “What about Ryan?” It’s a miracle he can stop himself before he blurts out something stupid. He needs more information before he starts calling Ryan a son of a bitch and making threats he can’t keep. That dude’s fucking dangerous and if he’s done anything to Jack, he’s going to be a dangerous fucking corpse. Jack just sighs again, though, touching her cheek softly.

“Where’s your stash?” she asks. “I need a smoke.” Geoff sits up enough to rummage through the coffee table drawer. It’s proven to always be worth it to keep variety of things within arm's reach. More specifically, keeping weed near the couch. Among other things not relevant to this conversation. He passes her a baggie with the papers and she glad rolls a joint for them to share. When she digs her lighter out of her pocket, Geoff takes notice that it’s new; not the lame seventies zippo she’s had since forever.

Jack takes a heavy breathe from it and holds it deep in her chest as she hands it for Geoff to take. He goes at it a bit easier than she does, inhaling shorty. Even so, the smoke scratches the inside of his throat and he hacks up a cough so violently he has to sit forward to assure he doesn’t strangle himself. With her priorities clearly in order, Jack takes the joint from him before he can have the chance to trash it in any way. She gives him an odd look.

“It’s been a while, okay?” Geoff promises as he tries to recompose himself. He waves her off a bit, making an attempt to get back to the topic at hand. “What happened with Ryan?” Jack frowns.

“He wants to date Ray,” she finally says quietly. It takes Geoff a moment to completely process the information.

“Like? He broke up with you?” he confirms unsurely. He figured Jack would be a lot more upset than this.

“No,” Jack murmurs. Okay, more questions have arisen. “He says he’s polyamorous. He wants to, well, he wants us both to, I guess, date other people, too?” Geoff sits up a little more. He’s interested in where this is going now.

“So you came to talk to me because-?” he asks vaguely.

“It’s fucking weird,” Jack scoffs. Definitely not where Geoff was hoping this would go. He sits back again, accepting the joint as she passes it back.

“Is it?” Geoff replies placidly.

“Yeah?” she say almost as if insulted. “‘Hey, you make me happy but not _that_ happy’.” Geoff squints into space unsurely. He could be wrong, but that’s generally not how that works. However, he can’t say he’s known an intimate amount of polyamorous people.

“You know Michael, Lindsay, and Gavin are polyamorous, right?” he points out.

“I mean,” Jack says slowly. She definitely knew, there’s no ‘not knowing’ there, but obviously she hadn’t thought about it. “Well, yeah. That’s-”

“Different?” Geoff finishes.

“Not the same,” Jack huffs irritably.

“Sure,” he murmurs. “Well look, all I can say is Ray is ready to stick his dick eight kinds of up Ryan’s butt the second Ryan asks so, do with that what you will.”

“You’re the worst,” Jack sighs and she shakes her head. “Just the absolute worst.”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Geoff replies with a jerk of a shrug. “So he likes you and Ray? I like whiskey and vodka. Sometimes I drink one, sometimes I drink the other, something I mix them together and shove them in my face like the regret filled alcoholic I am. So what?”

“I’m not sure where that metaphor went,” Jack says and looks at him tiredly. She shakes her head again before running her fingers over her forehead. “Aside from whatever the fuck that was, we’re fucking people, Geoff. With feelings. Not liquor. I know it’s hard for you to tell, sometimes.”

“I can tell the difference,” Geoff grumbles under his breath. “I like liquor way more than I like you.”

“And I like literally anything else more than you but here we are,” Jack assures.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jack,” Geoff says. “Lindsay’s happy with two boyfriends. If I were you, I would jump at the chance to have two guys ready to slobber all over my pussy.”

“I’m not sure what it is about you, Geoff, but something about even talking to you makes me want to guzzle a mixture of whiskey and vodka like a regret filled alcoholic,” Jack assures like it’s this grand mystery of the universe.

“Just all in there,” Geoff insists, making a vague gesture over his pelvis. “You know Ray’s gotta give some great face. Kid’s gotta do something with that mouth and it sure as hell isn’t talking.”

“This has truly been eye opening for me,” Jack promises as she gets to her feet. She takes a lengthy drag from the joint before putting it back in Geoff’s fingers and covering her mouth with her hand. With a small wave, she exhales smoke through her nose in a way that is unfortunately very attractive. “You’re an idiot and I’m horribly ignorant.”

“You’re not wrong,” Geoff shrugs.

“I’m going to go use my extensive knowledge of the internet to find some useful advice,” she informs as she straightens her skirt out and fluffs her hair a touch.

“I don’t know why you didn’t do that in the first place,” he murmurs mildly. Jack lets out a heavy, disappointed breath.

“Yeah,” she replies. “Yeah.”

“Well hey, if you’re ever looking for another dick to shove into your dude harem, you know where to find me,” Geoff assures her as she heads for the door.

“God no.”

Yeah. Yeah.

\- x -

Why’s it always got to be dogs? Was he one of them white dudes Mike Vic took the fall for in a past life? What the fuck? Ray runs as fast as his feet will carry him but the dogs are a lot faster and he’s losing more ground than he’s keeping. He could ditch the cash and probably get away but man, that’s a lot of cash and he would prefer to keep it. As he rounds the next corner, a hand grabs him out of no where and Ray yelps like he just stole thousands of dollars cash money from an open armored van.

The mysterious hand covers his mouth and yanks him into a very cramped nook between two buildings. This is not a great hiding spot from dogs but it’s covered and inconspicuous enough that the dumb LSPD officers probably won’t think twice about it. Sure enough, the dogs stop to bark at the hiding place but the officers that catch up immediately scold their canines and command them to keep up the chase. Confused but unwilling to disobey, the dogs run off. Ray breathes a sigh of relief into the hand muting him. Ah. Right.

“Stranger danger is real,” Ray whispers into the hand and it lets him go slowly. “Please don’t hurt me I have a family probably. Whatever makes it hard for you to sleep at night, dude.”

“It’s me, Ray,” he says shortly.

“I will give you one hundred dollars not to hurt me,” Ray assures.

“It’s Ryan,” Ryan clarifies.

“I know,” Ray murmurs. He shifts himself around a bit in the enclosed space but there’s not much room to share between them. At the very least, he manages to turn himself around to stand squished face to face with the much larger criminal. “Thanks for the quick escape. I didn’t know they had dogs.”

In response, Ryan covers his mouth again and a group of cops go running by. There are an awful lot of them buzzing around right now. Then again, Ray did just straight up grab some cash from an armored truck so that might have something to do with it. It was just so open and unguarded and probably a trap and he really hopes he didn’t grab a dye pack. Once the police have passed, Ryan lets him go again. Ray is quiet only for a moment.

“Okay, how long do we gotta stay here?” he asks curiously. As much as he’s all for Ryan holding his body against him, it’s not exactly ideal. There are some things about Ray’s body he’d like to leave to the imagination and it’s definitely not a boner.

“My car is near by,” Ryan informs. “Just gotta wait for an opening.”

“Oh, cool,” Ray agrees. It definitely beats running and probably getting mauled by dogs again, so there’s no complaining here. They just have to stand here in relative silence for a few minutes while they wait for the coppers to move on with their lives, that’s fine.

“So, uh,” Ray says quietly. “You and Jack. How’s that going?” ‘Relative’ silence is not ‘complete’ silence.

“Well,” Ryan replies.

“Cool,” Ray murmurs. “She give good head?”

“She’s not usually the one giving,” Ryan answers simply. Oh. It’s a good thing Ray is wearing a beanie because he knows how red his ears go in the most inopportune times. To be fair, though, Ryan knows exactly what he’s doing with that smug mask of his. He’s not hiding shit behind that thing.

“I always figured you’d be great at giving face,” he comments. Ryan doesn’t say anything. “I don’t know why I said that. I literally had zero reason to.”

“We’re clear,” Ryan informs suddenly. Ray Narvaez Jr everyone. Drives all the ladies, dudes, and enbies wild. Yep. A quick peek assures that no one is in sight and then Ryan hurriedly exits their tight hiding place with Ray right behind him. They dart across the street and down another alley of which the other side Ryan’s car is parked. He gives the hood a pleased pat.

“Wow, it fixed up really nice,” Ray compliments. He knows Ryan’s precious Zentorno has been in the shop a while after that slip up with a lot of C4 on a previous heist gone very wrong. It’s incredible they managed to fix it.

“Yeah it did,” Ryan agrees in a voice that completely gives away the fact he’s smirking. He hops in the driver’s seat and Ray doesn’t hesitate to get in the other side. Ryan barely gives him the chance to get the door closed before they’re speeding off, cops none the wiser. Ray pulls his sack of money into his lap gladly to check his loot. A quick grope assures there’s no day ruining dye pack and another more thorough search doesn’t turn up anything suspicious. He’s still going to toss it in the wash, of course, but it looks like this was an easy job for something done on the fly.

“You want five?” Ray offers as he holds up a bundled stack. He’ll have to count it first, but it looks like a good sized haul; lots of big bills and hopefully real.

“Five?” Ryan repeats pointedly.

“Hey, I got chased by like, twelve dogs and most of the LSPD. You showed up and tried to dry hump me in an alley for twenty minutes,” he argues. “I’m being generous with five.”

“I’m good,” Ryan assures with a faint chuckle. Ray shrugs. More for him. “I do have an offer for you, though.” Instinctively, Ray flinches. Nothing he ever offers turns out well for anyone involved.

“Aw, come on, man. I’d rather give you the cash,” he insists. The last thing he wants is in on one of Ryan’s ridiculous suicide plans. He does that thing where he makes his plan sound really reasonable but it’s not and Ray has learned his lesson.

“I haven’t even told you what it is yet,” Ryan replies with mild insult.

“Is there a chance I’ll die?” Ray asks shorty. There isn’t an immediate answer.

“Not a big one,” he finally admits.

“Uhh, I’m listening,” Ray grumbles reluctantly.

“Dinner date?” Ryan offers. The proper response to this is confusion.

“Wha?” Ray echos back. Either he doesn’t know what date means or Ryan is asking him out. Which would be great except for the glaring issue which is Jack Pattillo and Jack Pattillo’s terrifying everything. He may be crushing on Ryan hard but Jack gave him his chance and he didn’t take it; she did. He wouldn't go behind her back like that.

“Or just a date,” Ryan assures. “In my experience, dinner is pretty boring.”

“What?” Ray repeats. He shakes his head, quickly bringing his senses back to properly acknowledge the suggestion. “Are you- are you trying to cheat on Jack? Not cool, man. Not cool.”

“Jack and I discussed it,” Ryan explains. Discussed it? “She had some reservations, but I believe she was sincere when she said she was okay with it.”

“Go back,” Ray says incredulously. “You asked your girlfriend of like, two months if you could date someone else? And she didn’t just straight up, I dunno, dump you?”

“Do you know what polyamory is, Ray?” he questions.

“Yeah?” Ray replies in bemusement. Believe it or not, that’s the sort of thing that comes up when a person finds out their two good friends are smushing their faces together with their girlfriend. “Are you-?”

“Well,” Ryan says vaguely and nods in agreement.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ray groans out. “Are you fucking serious?” He could have been dating Ryan this whole time? He’s been so annoyed with himself and Jack over this for no reason. This is fucking bullshit. They could have just both asked Ryan out and everything would have been fine. Well, aside from Geoff but fairly, Geoff isn’t even playing the same sport.

“Yes?” Ryan murmurs. “You’re not taking this how I thought you would.”

“Where are we having this date- theoretically?” Ray grumbles into his bag of cash. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Ryan laughs a little.

“The arcade on the pier sounds nice.”

“I guess I could go.”

\- x -

So Ryan’s out on a date with Ray.

Jack still isn’t entirely sure how she feels about this. It’s definitely not a negative feeling, she’s sure, but positive isn’t right, either. It’s complicated. Had it been someone other than Ray, she’s certain she wouldn’t have been alright with this. Ray is just- Ray. It’s not really guilt, either, which is surprising to even her. In the end, the truth is, it just didn’t turn out to be as big of a deal as she thought it would be.

They did talk about it first and Ryan let her make most of the guidelines. Jack really isn’t sure if this is just because everything she suggested was reasonable or because Ryan didn’t want to argue on anything with her. Knowing what she knows about Ryan, the second is extremely unlikely, which is somewhat relieving, honestly. Jack has no idea what she’s doing. The answer is; probably something wrong. Ray was totally fine with it, too. It’s not really clear if this is because he’s actually okay with it or because he didn’t want to pass up another chance to date Ryan.

Or maybe Ray is just polyamorous, too. Jack feels like that would have solved a lot of their problems in the beginning had at least more than one of them been aware of any of this. That’s not what happened, though, so she doesn’t dedicate a shocking amount of time thinking about it. Instead, she considers if there’s anyone she would be interested in dating. Off the top of her head, there’s really not anyone. There’s really no pressure for her to consider dating someone else but it seems appropriate to at least keep it in mind.

Other things quickly become more important. The small ‘thump’ from the door is enough to get Jack’s attention and she peers over the side of the couch curiously. There’s a small pause before the door opens and Ryan stumbles in practically carrying Ray. Alright. She’s really not sure why she’s surprised, Ryan is sort of, well, ‘sex positive’. Jack had kind of hoped that telling him she’d prefer if he only had sex in the apartment would stop basically exactly what’s happening now. In retrospect, she’s not sure why she thought this.

“I’m back,” Ryan alerts between pants and kisses. Jack makes a mild ‘mm’ of acknowledgement, not entirely sure what else to say. Ray is small enough that he’s nearly completely hidden by Ryan but that really doesn’t do anyone any favours. Momentarily, Jack wonders if she should go somewhere else but she doesn’t want to draw attention to herself by moving and furthermore, they’re in the livingroom. Where is she supposed to go? Granted that doesn’t mean she has to watch but it’s hard not to.

Ryan stops suddenly and they part a little as he holds something up.

“Come on,” Ryan insists.

“What? It’s gum. You’re literally sticking your tongue down my throat, I think you can get over a piece of gum,” Ray replies shortly. There’s movement Jack can’t make out.

“Okay, that’s gross,” Ryan murmurs.

“It’s not like I’m gonna chew it later, shut up, man,” Ray assures shortly. Gum and wherever Ray put it aside, Ryan goes back to kissing him affectionately. For a moment, at least. Again, Ryan pauses but he nuzzles Ray’s neck and kisses the corner of his soft jaw hotly.

“Jack’s here,” Ryan says faintly. Jack’s heart does a nervous jump. However, Ray doesn’t say anything, tilting his head further to give Ryan more room to kiss, and it prompts a sharper, “Ray.”

“Okay,” Ray replies shortly, acknowledging the comment. Jack isn’t sure what Ryan wanted him to say, honestly. Obviously nothing as Ryan doesn’t make any more mention of it and simply swallows his lips again. He seems to be gentler with Ray than with her; Ray being smaller and surely far easier to injure by mistake. Ray on the other hand, isn't. He grips at Ryan's shoulder blades hard, nails pulling at the fabric, and when he runs them upward, he makes no hesitation to pull Ryan's hair. For someone who's usually so shy, he definitely knows how to pretend to know what he's doing.

Ryan pulls Ray's hands out of his hair and Ray puts them on his chest instead. In what would otherwise be an elegant movement, Ryan attempts to get to his knees but so does Ray. They bump skulls with an audible 'thump'. Jack holds back an amused snort. Boys are dumb.

"Ow," Ryan says pointedly.

"Fuck man, what the fuck are you doing?" Ray scoffs as he rubs his forehead against his palm. Jack does feel a little better about her first date with Ryan; Ray's is going about as smoothly.

"Going down on you," Ryan rebuttals like it should be obvious. "Is that a problem?"

"Sorta," Ray answers vaguely. "I got it, thanks though. Just stay still. I don't wanna end this date with a fractured skull or something."

"Sorta?" Ryan repeats with mute agitation. "I don't know what that means."

"Means I'll do the blowing, it's fine," Ray says a bit more sternly. This is interesting. Ryan grabs Ray's shoulder to keep him upright.

"You don't need to do that if you don't want to, Ray," he assures. "Kissing is fine."

"Look man, I don't got a dick so I don't know what you're going to go down on so just-" Ray trails off and he makes a gesture that doesn't equate to much. Holy shit, Ray's trans.

"Uh huh," Ryan replies slowly.

"I'm a trans man, Ryan," Ray assures placidly. Holy shit. A lot of Ray's 'jokes' suddenly aren't jokes anymore.

"Yeah," Ryan says. "That was my first guess."

"I just- first?" Ray echoes. "What do you mean 'first'? What the hell was the second?"

"There are people who've had their penises removed for other reasons," Ryan murmurs. "It's rather interesting, actually."

"You're so fucking weird," Ray sighs.

"So am I right in assuming you don't like receiving oral sex, then?" Ryan asks curiously.

"Huh? No. It's great, it's just- dude pussy usually turns people off," Ray explains awkwardly.

"May I?" Ryan replies suggestively. Even Jack blushes.

"Y-yeah," Ray stutters. "I mean, if you really want. Go for it, man."

"I do," Ryan assures. There he goes. That's Jack's boyfriend alright. He has to have an oral fixation or something, honestly. Not that Jack's complaining- and neither is Ray. This time when Ryan gets down, they don't collide. Jack very quickly tries to mind her own business again, subconsciously covering her mouth with her fingers.

She probably should have figured out Ray was transgender sooner. Not because it's obvious but because she should know all of the signs. Does he know she's trans? Likely not. She certainly would have mentioned it sooner had she known though she can't say for sure Ray would do the same. He tends to keep to himself more often than not.

"Fuck yes," Ray groans. Jack could start a fire with how hot her face is. Ray is likely learning very quickly the same things she had; Ryan is very affectionate and very eager to please. When he wants to be, at least, and right now it sounds like he _really_ wants to be. While Ryan is mute, Ray pants and moans quiet little sounds.

"Oh man, Ryan," he encourages, both hands tangled in Ryan's hair snugly. " _God_." The disappointed noise he makes when Ryan stands again is completely warranted. It's muffled somewhat by the kiss, though, and definitely not disappointed by the hand that disappears between them.

"How's that?" Ryan murmurs against his lips.

"I mean, I can definitely take more fingers than that but- _oh_! Ah, better," Ray moans appreciatively. He makes raspy, pleasured gasps without reserve, fingers dug hard into either of Ryan's shoulders.

And then Jack's phone goes off. It startles her more than anything else and she quickly fumbles to turn it off. She swears, she had turned it to silent. Dammit Geoff. What the fuck does he want now? By the time she hits the ignore button, it's a little late. Ryan looks at her curiously and Ray looks just shy of being completely mortified.

"Uh," Jack says slowly. "My bad?"

"I should go," Ray murmurs. Ryan turns back to him questioningly.

"Yeah, alright," he agrees faintly as he removes his hand from Ray's lower region. Ray struggles to get his jeans back on and without another word, exits the apartment in as hurry. She completely ruined that. Ryan rubs the back of his head with mute bemusement before looking over his shoulder at her again. Jack doesn't know what to say.

Again, her mobile goes off. Jack nearly launches it at the ceiling, it startles her so bad. Alright, she's absolutely certain she's never had the volume up that loud. Ryan raises an amused brow and she swiftly answers it if not just so he'll stop calling.

"What?" she snaps. "What do you want, Geoff? It's one in the morning! Why could you possibly be calling me‽"

"Jeez, are you fucking PMSing or something? No need to be such a cunt," Geoff grumbles. She's going to fucking kill him. She really is.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower," Ryan mentions, gesturing towards the bathroom. "Join me when you're done?"

"Geoff, if someone isn't dead, you really better lock your door tonight," Jack warns as she nods affirmatively at Ryan. He quietly pads off.

"Good news! Someone's dead!" Geoff answers smugly. "Michael finally caught up to Smith. I need you to have a chat with customs. Get that package freed up."

"I'm not talking to anyone at one in the fucking morning, Geoff," Jack assures him in a sour tone.

"Well yeah, obviously I didn't mean-"

"Go fuck yourself, Geoff."

"Alright, no need to-"

Jack hangs up. Frustrated, she throws her phone against the couch and briskly leaves it there to join Ryan in the shower. Calling her at one in the morning, what the fuck is wrong with him?

\- x -

Just as Jack is about to drive off, the passenger door opens and Ray climbs in. She pauses, glancing around curiously before looking at him again. Ray doesn't say anything.

"I guess you're coming with me, then?" Jack says bemusedly. She really doesn't need any help with this errand but she supposes there's really no reason _not_ to have an extra set of hands. That would have been nice to know before hand, though.

"Yeah," Ray replies shortly. Alright, this is clearly going to be super awkward. She still sort of feels bad for disrupting his and Ryan's date but to be fair, it was mostly Geoff's fault. Actually, it was pretty much exclusively Geoff's fault. He was the one to fuck with the volume, after all. 'Well you never answer'. No shit. Jack should know better than to ever take her eyes off her phone and yet, she never learns.

"Uh," Jack murmurs after they've driven in silence a while. She feels like she should say something, at least. Hopefully Ray doesn't feel bad or anything; he shouldn't. "About last night."

"Yeah," Ray repeats with an air of nervousness. "How much, uh, how much of that did you hear?"

"Well," Jack says. All of it. Absolutely all of it. "Quite a bit, actually," she quietly admits. It's not that big of a deal, honest. Had Jack really not wanted Ryan to get 'intimate' with Ray, she would have said something before hand. Granted, she had sort of hoped he'd wait but that's no one's fault but her own.

"You can't tell anyone, Jack," Ray urges.

"I'm not judging," Jack promises swiftly. She laughs nervously. "I slept with him on the first date, too. Ryan's very- charming."

"What?" Ray responds irritably. "No. Everyone already knows I'm easy."

"Oh," Jack says. She didn't know that but okay. She also doesn't know what this is about, apparently. "What am I not telling anyone, exactly?"

"That I have a fucking vag, Jack," Ray huffs. Oh. Oh! Right! That makes more sense. Jack hadn't forgotten she just instinctively wasn't going to tell anyone. That and obviously it's not a big deal to her. Like her, though, Ray clearly isn't so sure it's not going to be a big deal to other people.

"Uh, Ryan didn't tell you?" Jack questions slowly. Of course he hadn't, there's no reason for him to have. She continues before Ray can reply. "I'm a trans woman."

There's a moment of silence as Ray looks at her blankly. To be honest, he probably passes a lot better than she does and he's likely realising how obvious it is now. Jack shifts uncomfortably. Suddenly, Ray bursts into laughter.

"Holy shit, dude! I nearly fucking shit myself last night, I was so fucking scared," he snorts between breathes. It takes some effort for him to stop laughing. Jack doesn't find a lot of amusement in the situation. Ray was afraid for a reason- just like Jack. "I mean, worse came to worse, I figured I could just tell Ryan I was a lady in disguise or something. I forgot you were there."

"Surprisingly, Ryan's actually a decent human being," Jack assures. Her worse case scenario had been to fucking shoot him so she goes ahead and doesn't mention that. "You know, behind all the murder and death."

"And the mask," Ray agrees. He laughs a little more. "God, I didn't sleep or anything. I was, like, expecting you and Geoff to show up at my apartment or something and beat the shit out of me." He says it like a joke but it breaks Jack's heart.

"Really?" she asks quietly. Sure, she had been worried about Ryan freaking out but that was mostly because they had already been romantic. Jack had never really thought any of the others would hurt her physically if they found out. At least, she would hope not.

"Uh," Ray says and he stops laughing. "No. I mean, course not. It's just, I dunno, scary. I mean," he laughs awkwardly. "You can throw a punch but me- people are just scary, man. Uh, sorry, woman?"

"Yeah," Jack agrees softly. He's not wrong.

"Sorry," Ray murmurs. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," Jack assures. "It's okay." She knows how it is. It has nothing to do with her or Geoff or how Ray feels about them. It's just easier to be cautious than trusting.

"So, uh, does Geoff know?" he asks and Jack looks at him a bit. "That you have a dick, I mean. Or, uh, _fuck_ , sorry."

"Relax," Jack insists with a grin. "I am a lady with a dick. But, no. Geoff doesn't know. Just Ryan and now you."

"Yeah, I told Michael a long time ago," Ray explains. "Not sure if he believed me or even remembers. Figured I should keep it to myself as much as possible."

"Not that it's anyone else's business," Jack insists plainly. It's not like knowing what's in their pants changes anything, anyways.

"True," Ray agrees. "So, like, are your tits real? They're amazing either way but Geoff and Gavin have this bet-"

"Also not anyone else's business," Jack flatly assure.

"Yeah. Right. Sorry. Really nice, though. Like _super_ nice. Ten-ten would recommend," Ray comments.

"I will make you get out of this car, Ray," Jack warns.

"I'll shut up."

\- x -

Ryan is content. ‘Happy’ feels like a weird word to associate with this feeling, but he supposes that’s not incorrect either. He’s a pretty firm believer that things can always be better, bigger, more on fire. Still, it’s an easy afternoon. Ray is leans up against him on one side, face smushed into his DS, and Jack is propped up to his other. They’re enjoying- well, they’re _watching_ a movie. God, Jack has such a bad taste in movies. He’d tell her but she doesn’t want to believe him so he keeps it to himself. Hopefully in the future she will stick to having movie nights with Geoff and Michael and not subject them to this horrible event.

Ray has already tuned out, if he had ever tuned in, and Ryan is definitely trying but failing. Is this going to get him laid? Is it worth it? Is watching this awful, mind dribbling combination of film angles worth sucking dick? Yeah, okay, it’s not like he’s doing anything better at the moment anyways. He supposes it’s not that bad, it’s just- oh god it’s so awful. He blames Geoff for this completely. People forget about old movies for a reason.

A hand crawls across his thigh and Ryan is happily alert all at once. Apparently Jack isn’t too enthralled by this horrible display, either. Another hand inches up the inside of his other thigh. Ray and Jack brush fingers and then both immediately withdraw like whiplash. Oh, okay. Jack blushes bright red and likewise, Ray’s ears light up. Understandably, they’re both still a touch nervous around each other but this is getting ridiculous. Mostly because Ray has a pretty big crush on Jack and Jack may be the most oblivious person on the face of the earth. Though to be fair to Jack, it’s easy to be oblivious when most people are crushing on you hard.

“Please tell me neither of you are actually watching this,” Ryan finally questions and he makes very little effort to keep the boredom from his voice.

“I was starting to get into it,” Jack insists but she’s not very convincing.

“This movie kind of blows,” Ray assures instantly.

“You haven’t watched any of it,” Jack points out.

“Listen,” Ray replies. “If it’s not Space Jam, I’m not interested.”

“I’d much rather retire to the bedroom,” Ryan states.

“Same,” Ray agrees without hesitation. There’s a moment of nervous silence from Jack. While they both communicate with Ryan very well, they don’t communicate with each other. This is a problem Ryan is certain will solve itself over time but he’s not a patient man by any extent of the word.

“Well, you two are more than free to do what you want,” Jack says simply. “I’m going to finish this movie.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Ryan suggests bluntly.

“I guess I’ll just go fuck myself?” Ray murmurs to himself under his breath.

“You’re both aware Jack’s bed can fit all three of us, right?” Ryan mentions. This causes them both to go very quiet and very red. It seems like a reasonable suggestion to him at least. Better of a suggestion than this movie was at any rate.

“Threesome. Hot,” Ray is finally the one to speak. “I’m in.”

“I guess I could finish it later,” Jack says quietly, covering her mouth faintly with her hand as if it’ll hide her bright red face. They’re both so cute, honestly. Ray saves his game in a hurry and tosses it onto the couch for later retrieval while Jack makes a dishonest attempt at pausing the movie to come back to later. Ryan turns the television off and as he stands, stretches away the stiffness that had crawled into his muscles.

Though Ryan has to take the initiative, neither of his datemates has any hesitation about following him to the bedroom. After Ray had hastily left after their first date, he and Ryan have not had another chance to be intimate. Ray had explained what had happened, assuring Ryan it was nothing he had done, but there simply hasn’t been an appropriate time. Unlike Jack, who prefers to be in relative private and at least pretends to be task driven, Ray tends to want to drop everything. As nice as it would be, rarely can Ryan drop everything he’s doing in order to bring Ray back to the apartment and pleasure him for thirty plus minutes

Ryan drops himself on the edge of the bed, a small bounce to the impact, and they look at him unsurely. When a moment passes and neither of them make an effort to do anything, Ryan touches his index fingers together in a suggestive gesture.

“You gonna kiss or what?” he asks. It’s incredible, but they manage to somehow turn redder. Ryan should really keep a counter on how often he can make them blush in one night. “Joking,” he assures. “But standing there really isn’t helping anyone.” He makes a dual motion with both hands to urge them to join him on the bed. Jack shakes her head but she lets out a light hearted sigh and sits beside him on the edge of the mattress. Ryan wraps a hand around her waist and leans in to kiss her affectionately on the lips. With a shyness that all but evaporates in excitement, Ray sits to his other side.

Ryan shifts to fondly kiss Ray as well, assuring they both get the proper amount of attention. He has to say, he very much enjoys being between these two. Not specifically in bed but just in general. Jack kisses like she’d swallow him whole if he’s not careful and she probably would. Ray kisses like he doesn’t know what his teeth are for, more often than not ending up in his lips. When Ryan adjusts to kiss Jack again, Ray takes things into his own hands. He acts like he’s interested in kissing Ryan’s neck but his hand is very quick to wander between his thighs. This isn’t a ruse he tries to keep up very long. He shoves his hand down the front of Ryan’s pants without hesitation.

“Mmp!” Ryan makes a muffled noise of surprise, breaking away from Jack just enough. “Alright, there’s no rush. I assure you, I’m in this for the long run.”

Ray looks him dead in the eye and says, “I’m going to suck your dick so hard, Ryan.” Well, Ryan definitely wasn’t telling him he couldn’t do that. Jack lets out a small snort of a laugh, leaning her forehead against Ryan’s shoulder a bit.

“That’s a kid on a mission,” she insists. “I’d watch it.”

“It would be a shame to stop you, then,” Ryan agrees simply. Ray takes this as a bright green light and immediately gets down between Ryan’s legs. He doesn’t waste any time, unbuttoning the front of Ryan’s jeans and yanking the zipper down. As if to make himself more comfortable, he slides down a bit as he pulls Ryan’s dick out. Initially, he looks a bit startled.

“Oah,” he murmurs. Ray looks up at him, then Jack curiously before looking back at Ryan’s dick with stars in his eyes. “Damn.”

“Thanks?” Ryan replies with a soft chuckle. He isn’t quite sure how to take that. Ray places his lips against the head and he decides he can take it as a compliment. Jack kisses him behind the ear and Ryan turns to meet her again, meeting her lips warmly. She pushes against him hard and he instinctively pushes back, nearly pushing her over when she gives way. The hand in his hair pulls him back, though, and he lollies his head into Jack's grip, her nails scraping his scalp.

Ray runs his tongue along the underside of cock, urging a shudder down Ryan's spine and a groan from his lips. Jack pulls his head against her chest so she can see a bit better as Ray works his mouth so skilfully. Her heartbeat is right in his ear, thumping away eagerly, and Ryan takes it upon himself to kiss her chest. He runs his hand down her stomach and into the waistband of her pants, teasing the curve of her hip with his fingers.

"Wow," Jack says quietly as Ryan palms her semi hardon through her lacy panties. She's very interested in Ray wrapping his lips around Ryan's cock. Ryan glances down at him but Ray is pretty focused. He pops off with a slick noise, gesturing his tongue across his mouth, and uses his fingers to rub the spit and precum down Ryan's shaft. When Ryan places a faint hand on the back of Ray's head, Ray swats him away like he's being bothered but he doesn't say anything. Ray takes the head in his mouth again and bobs down until he gags.

"Ray," Ryan groans from the very back of his throat. Jack gives him a faint, somewhat distracted kiss as her fingers follow Ryan's wrist into her pants and ushers him to stroke her more. Ryan gladly obliges. A moan bubbles from his mouth when he feels Ray's throat around him and when he twists his head to take him further, Ray's throat muscles twitch. He is really good at that. Ryan’s toes curl.

“Ryan will go to sleep if he comes,” Jack comments. Ray pulls off with a slight jerk, a cough rumbling to his throat, and he covers his mouth with the back of his hand. Ryan groans unhappily.

“I will not,” he insists in great insult.

“You’re fucking out within five minutes like, every time,” Jack assures. “And you’re out for fifteen minutes at least.”

“I feel so attacked right now,” Ryan says plainly and Jack rolls her eyes. Ray looks at him expectedly but he grins in amusement. Neither of them visually seem uncomfortable which proves Ryan’s point that they just needed a soft nudge in the right direction. On one hand, Jack isn’t always forward with her feelings and on the other, Ray isn’t sure enough of himself to seek them out but Ryan loves them anyways. Or something.

“So not to rush you or anything, but when do I get to sit on your dick?” Ray asks. “Preferably before nap time.”

“Should you, uh, stretch first?” Jack mentions unsurely. Ryan looks at Ray curiously with the same, but phrased slightly different, question.

“Here’s the thing,” Ray replies and his face flushes faintly. “I didn’t think I was going to get laid today so I’m good, actually.”

“Oh,” Jack murmurs. It takes her a second to realise what this actually means and when she does, her face heats up. Ryan is counting both of those. That makes four each for the blush tally. To be fair, though, the idea of Ray fingering himself before their movie date is very blush worthy.

“Let me just grab some stuff,” Ryan says.

“I’ll grab it,” Jack assures and she places a hand on his shoulder to hold him in place. Ryan nods appreciatively as she gets up and he grabs Ray’s arm to help him up off the floor. Graciously, he meets Ray’s lips again and Ray settles his hands on the curves of his shoulders. He fits between Ryan’s legs so well and Ryan dips his hands down into the front of his jeans with ease. Sure enough, Ray wasn’t joking. When Ryan rubs a pair of fingers against his cunt, it’s already wet to the touch. He slips a finger in easy and Ray lurches in pleasure, pushing his forehead against Ryan’s.

As if to help him along, Ray uses his own hands to undo the front of his jeans and pushes them down past his hips. In an inelegant motion, he shoves them around his knees and somehow manages to kick them away without injuring either of them. Ryan goes ahead and helps him pull his boxers off so he doesn’t hurt himself. Jack sits herself back at Ryan’s side with a bottle of lube and a few condoms in hand. Ryan sees her swallow as she looks Ray over. Showing the same patience Ryan does on a normal basis, Ray hurriedly takes one of the rubbers and tears it open between his fingers.

“Man, I’m surprised they make these in your size,” he comments halfly.

“You and Jack, I swear,” Ryan scoffs with humor. “It's normal sized.”

“No,” Jack says immediately. “Not at all!”

“I don’t know what kind of dicks you’ve been looking at, but that’s like mutant mega dong,” Ray promises.

“Eh, okay, yeah” Ryan replies vaguely. That’s never been something he paid a particular amount of attention to in the past. He hasn’t had a complaint yet. Ray rolls the vaguely pink coloured rubber onto Ryan’s cock with a few skilled fingers and Jack shifts a bit to lean against Ryan, more than content to simply watch for the time being. Despite Ray’s eagerness to get on with it, Ryan doesn’t want to mistakenly hurt him. He coats his fingers with a generous amount of lube and slides them between the already wet lips of Ray's pussy.

Ray grabs Ryan's upper arm to support himself on and places the other on the back of his own neck, rolling his hips against Ryan's fingers wantingly. Each little twitch is accompanied by a throaty groan and a clench of the fingers. Though Ryan is certain Ray could probably get himself off like this, he decides not to tease the lad much more. He eases in a pair of fingers and then a third when Ray is already accommodating.

"Shit," Ray breathes out. "Man, if I had fingers like yours, I'd never leave my room."

“So like usual,” Jack comments pointedly.

“Hey, have you been outside recently? It's awful,” Ray insists. Ryan chuckles a little. He rolls his thumb against Ray’s clit and it makes the lad’s knees weaken, fingers digging into his arm hard to keep upright. “ _Fuck_.”

“That good?” Ryan inquires.

  
“Yes,” he rasps out. Ryan runs his free hand under the edge of Ray’s shirt but Ray shoves his hand away rather quickly and he takes the hint. Instead, he grabs Ryan’s shoulder and maneuvers himself into his lap. Jack shifts over a touch to assure he has enough room, holding her hand out in the off chance he loses his balance. Though he clearly doesn’t need much help, Ryan grabs his waist to aid him along anyways. Fondly, Jack brushes her fingers over the small of Ryan’s back and he meets her lips with a brush of a movement. She smiles.

Using Ryan’s shoulder to support himself, Ray holds his cock steady to line up properly. The head pops in easy but from there, Ray stalls. He shifts his hips a little bit as if to test the waters before sinking down some more. A small gasp leaves his lips and he flutters his eyes closed as he tosses his head forward. Ryan strokes a little circle on his hip with his thumb.

"Oh fuck," Ray groans lowly. "Fuck." Jack bites her lip and gingerly, she runs a pair of fingers along Ryan's cock to where they connect. She brushes them over Ray's hot clit and he jolts, "ah."

"Wow," Jack murmurs breathlessly. Holding himself up on his knees, Ray puts his hand over hers and shows her exactly how he likes to be touched. She's more than willing to follow lead. With her hand busy, Ryan slips his hand into her pants. He undoes the latch and zipper easily and strokes her cock between his fingers until she makes that sweet noise at the back of her throat.

When Ray bottoms out, he's little more than a mess of pants and trembles, his fingers clenched into Ryan's shoulder hard enough to bruise and tangled in Jack's fingers absently. Ryan runs his hand up his back and gestures him closer to kiss properly. Ray closes his eyes, making a small effort to catch his breath, before gradually grinding his hips. It urges the same moan from Ryan as it does from Ray.

"Shit, dude," Ray groans out and he manages a faint laugh. "Way different than plastic dicks." Oh. Huh.

"Ray," Jack murmurs. "Are you really a virgin?"

"Depends on what you mean by virgin, I guess?" Ray replies awkwardly. Jack swats Ryan on the back.

"Ryan," she says unhappily.

"What 'Ryan'?" Ryan answers. "You say that like I knew."

"I mean, I've sucked a lot of dicks," Ray murmurs.

"His first time should have been special," Jack insists. Ryan squints at her, then around the room, then back at her.

"I think we got that down pat," he assures. There's definitely something special going on here. Besides, Ray was ready to lose it basically anywhere else apparently.

"Like a lot," Ray repeats.

"Yes, we get it, Ray," Jack promises flatly.

"Just saying," Ray assures. Ryan bucks his hips and it tears a gasp of a moan from Ray. A shudder goes down his spine and Ryan grins. This only encourages Ray to move, using his knees to steadily rock against Ryan's dick. Every little movement of Jack's fingers on his clit makes Ray's knees twitch and his cunt clench. Ryan groans lowly.

"Ah, Ryan," Jack pants softly as she thrusts her hips into his hand. Ray moves quicker, finding a pacing he likes and taking to it immediately. Momentarily, he watches Ryan's cock disappear into him again and again before biting his lip and pushing his face into Ryan's collar. Jack arches her back sweetly, rasping out a pleasured noise as she comes. Ryan isn't far behind, Ray's warm cunt and rhythmic movement too much.

Ryan orgasms with a guttural growl on the back of his tongue. As Jack takes her hand away, Ray pauses. He frowns a bit, parting his pussy with his fingers as he lifts himself off Ryan's softening dick.

"Seriously? Aw, I was so close, too," he complains. Surely he doesn't think Ryan would leave him at that. Ryan grabs his hips, lifting his small frame easily. "Woah! Hey now! I- oh!" A warm tongue on his clit is enough to stop his complaining. Ray grabs a handful of Ryan's shirt in either hand, leaned over to the best of his ability with his knees in Ryan's shoulders.

"Don't drop him," Jack sighs. "Show off."

"As long as I come first, I could care less if you drop me," Ray assures between pants. Ryan isn't going to drop him. He's like ninety pounds and most of it is probably sexual frustration. Ray gasps as Ryan rolls his tongue against his stiff clit and between his labia, the tremble to his knees a lot more noticeable now. He finds a better hold on Ryan's hair very quickly, twisting the strands between his fingers as he needily grinds against his mouth.

Every muscle in Ray's thighs spasm as he comes, clenching around Ryan's head with smothering intent. He moans a heated, " _oh fuck_." Despite not being able to breathe particularly well like this, Ryan gives Ray a moment to come down before ushering him off. He's very malleable post-orgasm it seems, and Ryan just sort of rolls him onto the bed.

"Fuck dude," Ray says contently. "That was so good." Ryan chuckles as he pulls his shirt off over his head, using it to pat the sweat from his face before tossing it aside for later wash.

"Alright," Jack says with a grin. "That was better than the movie but to be fair, Geoff usually has better taste than that."

"Sure he does," Ryan replies with obvious disbelief. Jack rolls her eyes. She pulls her bra off from under her shirt and shimmies out of her pants before joining Ray in the bed. Ryan ties his condom off and tosses it in the bin before tucking himself back into his pants. He moves up the bed and Ray rolls into his side comfortably. Jack rests her head in the crook of his shoulder and Ryan smiles contently.

All he's saying is who doesn't like naps?

"He's not really going to go to sleep, is he? It's like, eight in the afternoon."

"Listen, Ray, a sleepy Ryan is a vinegar Ryan and no one likes a vinegar Ryan."

"Okay, true."

\- x -

"Nn, Ryan," Jack groans. Ryan blearily blinks his eyes open. "You're heavy. Get off my tit."

Groggily, Ryan glances around. He'd gladly do that but he's no where near Jack. In fact, he somehow managed to get to the edge of the bed sometime during the night. He peers over his shoulder curiously.

"Ryan," Jack repeats tiredly. "Come on, sweetie. You're face is too scratchy for this." While it's obviously not Ryan, Ray seems to have made himself more than comfortable using Jack's breast as a pillow. How he had managed to crawl over Ryan in the middle of the night without waking him up is a mystery. When Ray continues not to move, clearly not thinking Jack is talking to him, she finally stirs a little.

Jack looks down minutely, stares at Ray for a moment, then looks at Ryan. Ryan shrugs.

"Ray," she says a bit louder now. "Get off my fucking tit, man." Still, Ray doesn't budge. He's hardcore out. Jack gives him a small shove and all at once, Ray is awake. He sits up in a jerking motion, the entire left side of his face red from sleeping against Jack's bosom. Despite this, he's not entirely awake or aware.

Gingerly, Jack grabs the back of his hoodie and pulls him back down. Ray moves with her sleepily, allowing her to pull him against her side in a much more comfortable position for both of them. Very softly, Ray says, "wah. Waluigi," then promptly goes back to sleep.

Ryan rolls back over and readjusts to make himself cozy again. It's too early for him. They're fine.


	3. Sick To Def Jeff

"Where are you going‽" Ryan yells.

"I'm cutting them off at the overpass!" Jack shouts back. This isn't exactly uncommon, Ray knows. He'd figured they would argue less as a couple, or therefore, but that's extremely untrue. They argue about as much as they did before if not more. Now they yell about other stuff, too, like Ryan leaving face paint all over the bathroom counter and Jack always stealing the good leftovers.

Ray's used to it. He's learned not to try to break up physical fights, though. Jack can throw a hell of a punch. Gavin and Lindsay are also used to it. The three of them just sit in the back of the van quietly.

"You don't need to cut them off at the overpass! Just follow them, Jack!" Ryan demands. It's very rare that they're actually ever angry at each other, honestly. By the time they get home, all is usually forgotten. Or at least laughed about.

"Do you wanna fucking drive, Ryan‽" Jack insists pointedly as she takes her hands off the wheel altogether and they immediately begin to swerve off the road.

"No, I don't want to drive!" Ryan barks, bracing himself on the dash with one hand. "I just want you to follow them!"

"I don't _want_ to follow them, Ryan!" Jack snaps and grips the wheel again, jerking them back on track and throwing Gavin to one side. He yelps loudly. "There's no way this van can keep up with them, anyways!"

"If you would have followed them, I could have shot their tires out!" Ryan assures.

"Yeah, _or_ I can cut them off! Like I said!" Jack bites sourly.

"Off ramp! Off ramp!" Ryan instructs hurriedly as they pass it by completely at easily a hundred and ten. "You missed the off ramp!"

"I don't want to take the off ramp!" Jack reminds him loudly.

"I'm getting out!" Ryan informs.

"Do not get out of this car, Ryan!" Jack yells.

"I'm getting out!" Ryan repeats. True to his word, he takes his seatbelt off and opens the passenger door, flinging himself out of a hundred and ten mile an hour moving van. From out the busted back door, Ray sees him roll away.

"Alright! Find your own way home, asshole!" Jack shouts after him, not even hesitating to stop. Ryan has jumped out of a lot of things. He's probably fine.

"Ryan's getting his own car," Jack informs blandly.

"Yeah, we heard," Geoff assures from the sky. He and Michael are tracking from the air. Bunching them all up together wasn't the initial plan but neither was chasing this thing down. They were going to sneakily cargobob it out. Plans change.

"Just don't blow it up, Ryan," Michael sighs. "We need the stuff."

"I won't, chill," Ryan scoffs from where ever he ended up after his roll. A stolen car Ray's pretty sure. Man, they're really not good at thinking on the fly.

"You're coming up on them, Jack!" Geoff informs suddenly. "They're beneath you!" Ray makes sure his seatbelt is on tight and quickly, so do Lindsay and Gavin. Sure enough, the entire van is all of a sudden not on its wheels and they're all sideways. The shitty metal guard rail doesn't deter their van very much.

There's a long few seconds of falling and screaming, one of which is mostly but not entirely done by Gavin, before they hit the ground hard. Almost immediately after, they're hit from the side, as well.

"Get the driver!" Geoff commands but in reality, they're already moving to do that. Ray yanks his seatbelt off and climbs out of the van in a bundle with Lindsay and Gavin, opening fire on the enemy van without much warning. Dropping out of the sky probably caught them off guard anyways.

"Got 'em!" Lindsay assures gladly. There's no telling who by but as long as they're got. The front of the van is absolutely peppered with bullets. Jack climbs out the driver side only after a delay, having grabbed what she needed out of the glove box. With the van stopped and the driver popped, they can grab what they need and go. There's no longer any point in grabbing the entire van, people will be looking for it now.

Geoff and Michael hover above while they work. Ray and Lindsay keep a loose guard, but mostly chat, while Jack and Gavin strip the insides. Ryan joins them shortly after. Of course, having to stop, roll, then steal another car put him at a bit of a disadvantage. Not that it matters much, Jack is still ready for him.

"What did I say?" she asks as soon as he approaches them. She waves the little black box at him pointedly and Ryan shrugs nonchalantly.

"Will you idiots just hurry down there?" Geoff sighs loudly but no one pays him that much attention. They're doing their best, okay?

"You were right," Ryan agrees. Jack scoffs affirmatively, an assurance that Ryan has said the correct thing. "I was also right if I hadn't've had to get another car."

"But you did, so you were wrong," Jack promises him.

"I think it would have been easier to just shoot their tires out," Ryan insists.

"Then you drive next time," Jack says again.

"Yeah, but you're sexy when you drive," Ryan comments. Jack shakes her head but she grins. No, never really mad. She shoves the black box into his hands and returns to stripping the van without anymore bicker.

"What about me?" Ray inquires. Ryan looks at him, his mask hiding his face but not his expression. He has very expressive body movement, after all.

"What about you?" Ryan mimics.

"Am I sexy when I drive?" Ray asks. Ryan stares at him for a moment before walking to their van without saying anything. "Rude."

"You screamed for like, three minutes straight last time I saw you behind the wheel of a car," Lindsay says with a raised brow.

"Hey, that's sexy in bed," Ray replies matter of factly.

"Is it?" Lindsay questions incredulously.

"Oh yeah, in fact, I never stop screaming in bed," Ray assures.

"You should probably get that checked out, actually," she says. He shrugs.

"Alright everyone! Let's get to the warehouse!" Geoff announces. "On to phase two!"

\- x -

Jack looks around mutely as the rest of the crew searches out the stuff they're here for. Drugs mostly, but anything will do if it profits them. She's surprised how easy it was to get into this place. They painted up one of their vans and threw the tracking plate on it to bypass the security system.

No one even noticed them. Expect the ones who did. Who they shot. Which was everyone. Alright, so in reality they just shot everyone and punched the security system until it opened the gate. That's basically how all their jobs go anyways. Still, even that was easy.

The pallets of stuff look like what they're after but it's hard to be certain without checking. Jack glances over her shoulder at Ryan for confirmation but before she can even ask, she discovers Ryan has already helped himself. He punctures one of the bricks with his ever handy knife and snorts the powder off the blade as if this is a proper testing method.

"Ryan," Jack says curtly. Ryan looks at her curiously and when she gives him a disapproving look, he just shrugs.

"What?" he replies like he's done no wrong. He brushes the underside of his nose with his finger and Jack rolls her eyes as he pulls his mask back on. Instead, she looks to Lindsay for a better answer.

Standing in front of a different pallet, Lindsay snorts some of the powder off the back of her hand. Jack is surrounded by idiots, honestly. One day it's not going to be coke and then what do they do?

"Ooh," Lindsay giggles pleasantly. "This stuff's good. Not cut yet."

"Great," Geoff says, obviously pleased something has gone right today. "Get as much of it loaded up as we can carry. Ryan, get the place rigged. Whatever we can't carry- kaboom. Got it? Good."

"Finally," Ryan rasps in exasperation. Oh yeah, it's just been killing him not to be able to blow anything up. He rubs his hands together happily before going to grab his gear.

"I'm gonna go check out what else they have around here," Geoff informs. "Hurry it up."

It's dull but functional at any rate. While Ryan sets up the charges around the warehouse, Jack and Michael load up some vans. The dead guys around here aren't going to need them anymore, after all. Lindsay and Gavin pull the tracking data out of each one and then proceed to move the vans as they're filled up. Technically, they can take seven of them. They'll only be taking six however since Ray doesn't like to drive and only five will make it home because Gavin is an idiot who shouldn't drive.

A job like this is less about getting it home and more about the other guys not having it so it doesn't really matter how much they get away with. The extra cash is just a bonus. Leaving it up to Ryan, there's not going to be much of this place left. Once the charges are in place, Ryan takes watch of the filled vans with Ray.

Which, maybe, isn't a great idea. As Lindsay and Gavin leave to grab another van, Michael starts moving some packages from further in the warehouse closer to the entrance for less work. Jack just watches him, enjoying a short smoke break for the time being. Michael has a hard time sitting still when they're in the middle of jobs like these. Not like Gavin or Ryan has a hard time but still. At least Michael is constructive with his restlessness.

As he's in the middle of moving some bricks, however, he suddenly drops them. Jack raises a brow curiously. He's probably found a spider or something. For a mean little guy like Michael, he's so not down with spiders. Understandable really.

"Michael?" Jack questions. In the few seconds of silence that follows, she hears it, too; the C4 is armed. Michael bolts towards her and subsequently, the exit. Likewise, Jack drops everything and makes for the nearest out. There's not nearly enough time to make it there. The pure shock of the explosion knocks her off of feet and sends her to the ground in a heap.

The explosion itself is over almost instantaneously. She's not dead, a miracle with how heavy handed Ryan can be when using C4, but the collapsing warehouse is still a very real threat. Everything happens so fast, there isn't time for her to do much more than curl herself into a ball. The smaller she is, the less likely something will land on her and crush her.

Jack has survived many more explosions in her lifetime than she ever thought she would and this one is no different. Granted, many of those were much deadlier and in comparison, this feels like a joke. A heavy beam falls on her back, snapping several of her ribs, and lighter debris hits her with enough force to bruise but overall, her injuries are minimum. That has much to do with the flimsy construction of the warehouse but alive is alive.

"Michael?" Gavin's voice is the first thing she hears once everything has, to the extent that it will, settled. She's bleeding heavily, glass and wood shatters having torn through her clothes and skin from the force that they were thrown, but adrenaline keeps her mostly numb and conscious for the time being.

"Michael!" Lindsay's voice. Jack doesn't dare move until she's sure nothing else is falling. She doesn't want to potentially cause a second collapse of debris and shrapnel by violently shoving stuff off of her. That being said, it's not a comforting feeling being buried under wooden rubble and cocaine.

"Jack!" and that's Geoff's voice. There's the rustling of stuff around her and slowly, Jack begins to move. It's hard, though, weighed down by the splintered planks and scraps of sheet metal while her body becomes more and more sore as she moves. She might have broken more than a few ribs. In fact, now that she's beginning to move, she realises her head really fucking hurts. Her head and one of her shoulders. Trying not to put too much stress on any of her broken bits, she pushes some of the rubble off of her to at least let them know where she is.

Someone comes to her aid immediately, urgently moving stuff to uncover her and Jack gladly climbs out the second she's free enough to do so. She sits atop the remains and just tries to catch her breath. In doing so, she ends up coughing instead. She's inhaled so much cocaine.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Ray breathes out. "You scared the shit out of me, man. God, have you seen the shit that I eat? A heart attack is a real concern here." He collapses beside her and hugs her so tightly her ribs complain. Jack's alright with it, though. She pats his back warmly, much too injured to attempt anything more.

"I'm pretty sure you're going to die from trying to have sex for three hours straight," Jack assures him. Ray snorts a laugh but doesn't disagree. "I'm alright, Ray. Where's Michael?"

"What‽" Michael shouts in response to a completely different conversation.

"I said, are you okay‽" Gavin shouts back, cupping his mouth to amplify his voice. Yeah, Michael's okay.

"I almost died!" Michael yells far louder than he really needs to. "Who gives a fuck about the cocaine!"

"No!" Lindsay insists. "Are you okay‽"

"What‽" Michael demands again. "Listen, I can't hear a fucking thing! My leg's broke as hell! Like I'm talking pulverised! I'm not gonna be able to walk!"

"Is he deaf?" Gavin questions worriedly.

"No shit, Gavin," Lindsay replies blandly. "C4'll do that to you."

"What‽" Michael shouts. They help him up with minimum complaining from Michael and Jack gets to her feet gradually, doubled over to protect her broken ribs. Jousting them too much will puncture something, if that hasn't happened already, and that's the last thing she wants. Ray helps her as he can but she's not in bad enough condition to require that much assistance. She'd probably squish him more than he'd help her, honestly.

Once they're out of the rubble, Geoff seems to gather his senses again. Real help that one. Lindsay and Gavin settle Michael against one of the vans to check him for any other injuries and Jack finds something to lean on for the time being. They need to get patched up immediately. They might even need a hospital this time. Geoff snaps.

"What the fuck was that‽" he yells at Ryan suddenly. "What the fuck! Was that!"

Normally, Jack would agree with him. Ryan has done things in the past, she won't pretend he hasn't, but he's never seriously injured any of them before. Jokes. Jokes that sometimes ended with someone hurt but never dead. They got lucky; their stupid luck at work again. Ryan legitimately looks terrified; like he isn't sure what happened.

"You told me," Ryan murmurs faintly as he looks over Jack worriedly then Michael. He gets a little upset, looking back at Geoff sharply. "Wait, no, you told me to blow it! I figured they were out of there!"

"I didn't tell you to do shit, you fucking psychopath!" Geoff barks at him and he puffs himself up as if to deal with Ryan's bigger size.

"You," Ryan goes quiet again. He looks to Jack and Ray, possibly for help, but Jack hadn't heard anything. No one else makes any suggestion that they'd heard anything either. "I-" he stammers. "I thought-"

"You nearly killed Jack and Michael!" Geoff snaps. "Or was that your fucking plan‽ God! I don't know why I keep you around! You're a fucking lunatic! I never know when you're going to actually help us or fucking blow us the hell up!"

Ryan actually recoils. It's pretty clear this wasn't intentional at all. No, instead Ryan feels guilty about it. There's no way he'd let Geoff yell at him like this otherwise. He shrinks away from Geoff like he's trying to hide, unwilling to meet his eyes or anyone else's.

"I knew this would happen! I knew it! We can't trust you any further than we can throw you!" Geoff barks. It's really unnecessary at this point.

"Geoff," Jack says firmly. "Stop it. It was a misunderstanding, okay? Mistakes happen." Geoff turns to her sharply, red in the face with anger, but he doesn't yield.

"A mistake‽" he shouts back. "You almost _died_! That wasn't a fucking mistake! The only mistake here is letting this- this- _psychopath_ anywhere near us!" Still, Ryan is silent. He won't flee, of course not, but he's visually panicked and Geoff isn't making it better.

"What's your fucking problem, Geoff‽" Jack bites at him even if it strains her chest with searing pain. "You act like none of us ever make mistakes! We're not dead! Just drop it!"

"Yeah, Geoff," Gavin adds in, as aware of Ryan's unusual mood as the rest of them are. Geoff's the only one not getting it. "Michael's had worse. He's fine. Ryan must'a just misheard you."

"It wasn't a mistake!" Geoff roars. "This fucking maniac was trying to kill you!" Jack pushes off her support with some effort and Ray follows in case she needs help.

"Stop calling him that," she instructs harshly. Even injured, Geoff has no problem getting in her face as well. He points at Ryan angrily and Ryan flinches.

"I'm going to call him what he is and he's a fucking _sociopath_!" Geoff assures aggressively. So Jack does the only thing she can think of to shut him up in times like these; she coldcocks him hard in the mouth. Unbraced and probably startled, Geoff goes down.

"Ah fuck," she hisses out as her shoulder screams in pain. She grabs it hard to relieve some of the sting but it doesn't help. Worth it. " _Shit_. I'm not going to tell you again, Ramsey. Don't fucking call him that."

Jack stares down at him for a moment, urging him to test her patience right now, but Geoff just quietly rubs his mouth in his hand. He's not a total idiot, after all.

"What happened‽" Michael yells. "Did Geoff say something dumb‽ Someone help a guy out here!"

With an annoyed huff, Jack moves toward Ryan. He looks at her sadly and she rests her good arm on his shoulder to support herself.

"What's your fucking problem?" Geoff grumbles but by his volume, it's mostly to himself and even if it's not, Jack doesn't dignify it with a response.

"Are you okay?" she asks Ryan softly.

"Fine," he replies in a cracked voice. "Sorry," he grimaces then repeats even quieter, "sorry."

"It's okay," Jack assures. "I'm fine, too. You didn't mean it. You _didn't_ mean it, right Ryan?"

"No," Ryan says eagerly. "I swear, I heard Geoff tell me to. I didn't think he'd tell me to unless everyone was out of there. I didn't even think to check."

"I know," Jack promises. "You have to stop doing coke with your meds, Ryan."

"Yeah dude," Ray agrees softly. "That shit fucks with you even more than usual." He stands on Jack's other side so she can rest her injured arm against him. It helps a little but she's certain she's made it worse by throwing that punch. Geoff's lucky she's injured otherwise he'd probably be unconscious.

"I- yeah," Ryan murmurs. Not an agreement but not a diss, either, just an acknowledgment. Does Jack think he'll stop? No. Not any time soon. He knows he shouldn't mix drugs, this isn't a news flash for him, but it's a nice thought. Ryan's just Ryan. He'll come around when and if he's ever ready.

"Come on," Jack says. "You gotta help me walk, hun. I don't know how much longer I can stay upright like this." At the statement, Ryan quickly moves to grab her around the waist and hold her up. She pushes his hand down to grip her where it hurts the least and her boyfriends gladly help her to the nearest empty van.

"Oh, so I'm the only one!" Geoff shouts. "No one else is bothered by Ryan trying to fucking murder Jack and Michael‽ No one at all‽" Jack pauses, Ryan still unwilling to face Geoff directly himself, and glances back at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Geoff," she spits sourly before climbing into the back of the van. Jack tries to sit herself as best she can to relieve the pain but there's not much relief. Even with all the coke and dust she's inhaled, the pain is pretty prominent. Ray sits beside her, helping her pick some of the smaller bits of shrapnel from her skin, while Ryan helps Lindsay carry Michael over, as well.

Gavin piles in the back with them, dotting over Michael worriedly even as Michael continuously swats him away. Lindsay is less worried. Michael is a hardy guy.

"Stop! Stop putting your dirty fucking hands all over me!" Michael yelps irritably. "You're gonna fucking infect my wounds or something, stop!" Lindsay closes them in the back, having obviously come to the solution that she's the only one capable of driving right now. Ryan pets Jack softly, not being particularly helpful right now but not being exactly sober, either.

Lindsay climbs in the driver's seat and Geoff in the passenger's.

"Geoff," Jack says coldly. "Get out."

"The fuck do you mean 'get out'?" he scoffs back. "I'm not gettin' out."

"Geoff Lazer Ramsey if you do not get out of this van so help me god," Jack replies with rising volume. Geoff looks at Lindsay, then the rest of them all of who suddenly find much more interesting things to look at. Save Michael who only has a minimal idea of what's happening.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Geoff insists.

"Fucking walk," Jack snaps back. "I don't actually give a fuck." She's not doing this with him right now. She's in increasing amounts of pain and simply does not have the temper to do it. If she was capable of leaving, she would, but she's not and Geoff is. She's already had more than enough of Geoff trying to make her relationship his business and she's not about to let him run his mouth about shit he knows nothing about.

"Fine," Geoff scoffs. "Acting like I'm the one that fucking blew up a building with people inside. Fucking bitch, I just care about you is all but whatever," he grumbles to himself as he gets out and slams the door closed.

"I guess we're leaving?" Lindsay murmurs.

"Someone better be telling me what happened later!" Michael insists. "Not you! Get off me, Gavin!"

They leave without Geoff.

\- x -

Ray is more than happy to help Jack while she recovers. Honestly, Jack is a little surprised by this. Ray seems like the sort of 'afraid to be responsible for anyone but himself' guy but this proves largely untrue. He helps change her bandages and runs out to get food and just generally is very helpful. Jack appreciates it. Besides several of her ribs being broken, she fractured her spine in two separate places. On top of that, her shoulder blade was nearly broken in two and the severe concussion wasn't great, either.

Caleb insists she's going to be down for several weeks. Jack isn't so sure about that, Michael was in worse condition and he's moving around again already, but she is taking it easy. She's not going to be bed ridden like Caleb instructed but sitting on the couch is hardly going to hurt her. As long as no one tells Caleb.

More importantly though, they haven't seen Ryan in several days. He freaked out on the way to the clinic, jumped out the back of the van, and they haven't heard from him since. It's Ryan and he's probably fine. At any rate, they know he's not dead. If he were, the LSPD would be all over the news taking credit for it. He's probably just detoxing in a dumpster somewhere. Lindsay assures it used to happen much more frequently.

Jack and Ray don't worry too much about him.

Even without Ryan around to nudge them in the right direction, they get along well. They've always gotten on just fine, it's just a bit of a stretch from 'just fine' to 'romantically fine'. Jack doesn't think it's awkward anymore at least.

It's quiet as Ray changes her bandages again. Then again, it's also early and she knows he's not typically up this early. She'd do it herself, would almost prefer to, but her dominated shoulder is immobile and will be for quite some time. That limits her range of motion far too much to accomplish even the most basic of tasks. Jack is doing fine with using her right hand for most stuff but wrapping bandages just isn't going to happen.

Ray doesn't seem to mind. He'll fall asleep on the couch with her once they're done here and then leave to grab some breakfast even if Jack doesn't ask him to. Lighting a fire in the kitchen would provide better results than letting Ray cook so it's for the best, anyways. With Geoff sulking, it's been a quiet few days.

When Ray pauses, Jack opens her eyes to glance at him. He's staring at her scars. Not the new ones, still sore and red, or speckled gunshot ones from who knows where anymore. Not even the sharp cuts; a few too many knife fights. No, he seems to be staring at her surgical scars, the ones right below either armpit and stained in from repetitive incisions.

"My family is big boned," Jack murmurs. Ray looks at her questioningly. "I didn't like the way they looked when they came in so I got 'em adjusted. More trouble than they're worth, honestly. Ya'll always want to aim for the chest." Some of her tits are fake, so what? That's hardly anyone else's business.

"Fortunately, I've always been flat as a twelve year old boy," Ray jokes with a faint laugh. He places his hand on his stomach, though, patting a spot not visible to Jack. "That came out though," he says vaguely. "Fuck that. I wasn't dealing with it."

Jack smiles. That probably explains why it would take the jaws of life to get Ray to take his shirt off. Not that, that matters much, either. It's nobody's business but his own if he doesn't want to take his top off.

Ray finishes wrapping her still sore wounds and when he's finished, they settle in the living room. Jack takes the time to watch the morning news, it's not like she's going to be doing anything else, and it puts Ray back to sleep immediately. He likes to lean on her but with most of her broken, he settles with just resting his head in her lap.

The LSPD is still baffled by what happened at the warehouse, of course. Jack would think it would be obvious that their plan had gone wrong but the police force is still trying to figure out why they had taken all of the cocaine out, loaded it up, blew up the building, then left everything behind. Honestly, the LSPD are idiots.

"In other news, the mayor of Los Santos has been arrested for stealing _water_. In a _drought_. Find out what on earth he was thinking and why people are up in arms about his release coming up next."

The sound of the door opening makes Jack peer over her shoulder and Ray naturally stir. Perhaps they should start locking the door more often as opposed to relying on the elevator to keep out undesirables. For now, however, it's not a problem. Ryan lets himself in and proceeds to stand in the middle of the entryway for a few moments.

He looks awful. He's covered in dirt and dried mud with bits of twig and grass tangled in his hair and stuck to his clothes. He's scratched up and he wouldn't look too bad if not for the large, dried blood spot on his shirt, just left of his stomach. It looks like he took a roll down Mt Chiliad. For all they know, he might have.

"Hey buddy," Ray says slowly. "How ya doin'?"

"Where have you been?" Jack asks both curious and a little concerned. As long as he didn't get into another gang attack, she'll be happy.

"Mountains," Ryan answers simply. He rubs his face with the back of his hand and looks at the dirt that comes off of him before rubbing it off on his equally filthy shirt and finally padding down to the couch. "Got in a knife fight."

"It's been three days, Ryan," Jack murmurs.

"With a deer," Ryan says and he lifts the edge of his shirt to show them the antler stuck in his abdomen. Jesus Christ.

"I think Gavin owes me twenty dollars?" Ray says unsurely. "I don't think anyone bet on him getting in a fight with wildlife?"

"It wanted to go," Ryan assures somewhat humorously. "It looked at me funny, I wasn't just going to stand by and let it diss me." He seems to realise how ridiculous this is.

"Are you alright?" Jack asks in exasperation.

"Yeah," Ryan promises. "That stuff hit me hard. Are _you_ okay?"

"Couple broken bones," Jack shrugs. "Nothing more than usual. Better than getting stabbed by a deer."

"Yeeah," Ryan says slowly. "Could I get some help with this? It's in there real good."

"So did you win?" Ray inquires. Ryan doesn't answer for far too long, looking somewhat annoyed if not shamed. "You lost a fight to a deer?" Ray confirms.

"I got its antler," Ryan insists. "There's a deer out there that knows I'm coming for it now. I'll find you, Reggie. Better have my money, too."

"How did it get your money?" Jack asks flatly.

"It was a long three days," Ryan promises. "I loved, I lost, Reggie ate my fucking wallet. You know how it goes."

"No!" Ray assures. "I don't!"

"Absolutely not," Jack agrees. Ryan shrugs. "Come here. Let's see what we can do about your new 'accessory'."

\- x -

Seeing as though Jack is still visibly irate with him, Geoff decides that maybe he owes Ryan an apology. Not that he was ever refusing to do that, it's just that Ryan certainly isn't upset with him. Ryan is the same ol' creepy bastard he always is and doesn't even show he remembers what Geoff had said to him, let alone cares. He's never cared! Jack is being fussy for no reason.

However, if it stops making her fussy then he'll gladly apologise. Well maybe not gladly, but whatever. He's learned the hard way that he sort of needs her to actually do stuff around here, stuff he doesn't like to do, and that when she's in a pissy mood, she won't do that stuff. Honestly, they might as well be married.

Geoff manages to find Ryan by himself, loitering in the garage for reasons Geoff would rather not know. Fortunately for everyone, he appears to be working on his own car. When Geoff approaches, Ryan stops what he's doing to greet him.

"Hey Ryan," Geoff murmurs, giving him a casual head nod.

"Hey Geoff!" Ryan replies cheerily. "Check out my new knife." Without any warning, he whips out his shiny, bone handled blade and immediately starts waving it around. "Antler."

"Jesus- would you put that away!" Geoff snaps.

"What's got you so uptight?" Ryan answers as he twirls his knife between his fingers where it's very much not 'away'.

"I don't need you swinging knives around all the goddamn time!" Geoff huffs at him indignantly.

"I don't know if you know this about me, but swinging knives around is sort of what I do," Ryan assures. He spins it into the air to catch it by the blade like the showoff he is and grins. This conversation, like always, is a lost cause.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about last week," Geoff states plainly. Ryan looks at him curiously. "I want to apologise."

"Uh huh," Ryan says slowly, obviously trying to determine why Geoff would do such a thing. He really has forgotten all about it. Well, Jack's still recovering and Michael may be permanently deaf, but he's forgotten about whatever Geoff said.

"Yeah," Geoff confirms. "I said some things- look, I didn't know you were-" he trails off and gestures to Ryan vaguely. Ryan watches on like he doesn't know what is being insinuated. Geoff slowly finishes, "mentally ill."

"Schizophrenic," Ryan says simply.

"That explains so much," Geoff murmurs.

"Does it?" Ryan questions as he raises an unamused brow. "Because I feel drugs and bad decisions explain more but whatever."

"Right," Geoff says and he shakes his head mutely. "Well, I threw around some- slurs I didn't need to and I'm sorry. Even if you nearly killed two of my crew. Are we good?"

"Yeah, we good," Ryan promises gladly and he holds out his fist to bump. He probably picked it up from the lads but who really knows with Ryan. Geoff bumps it awkwardly. Good lord Ryan's a dork.

"And you're not mad?" Geoff confirms just to make sure.

"Oh I'm furious," Ryan assures and though his tone is still very pleasant with his opposite hand he threateningly gestures his knife at Geoff. "And know that now that you've acknowledged those as slurs, if you ever call me any of them again, we're going to have a problem."

"Deal," Geoff agrees. He really hadn't planned on it anyways. Ryan being upset makes him feel better, though. Now he doesn't have to worry about Ryan secretly being angry and sneaking into his apartment at night or something. Ryan puts his knife away.

"You still trying to fuck my girlfriend?" he asks and the question catches Geoff so off guard he doesn't know what to say.

"What?" he bites back in confoundment.

"Jack," Ryan clarifies. "Are you still trying to fuck her?" Geoff _understood_ the question the first time but weirdly enough, hearing it again doesn't give him any better words to answer it with. "I mean, it's cool. At this point, I'm pretty sure Jack is too much woman for you to handle but I'm not stopping you. I just wanna know if you're intentionally pissing her off because you still like her or because you're mad she's not dating you."

This is definitely not a conversation that ever needs to happen. First of all, no woman is too much woman for Geoff. Expect most of them. And that one dude that turned out to be a woman. Jack isn't in that list, though. Secondly, he isn't 'intentionally' pissing her off. He does that naturally, thanks very much.

"I'm gonna leave now," Geoff assures instead of participating any further in this discussion. "I don't like being in a room alone with you. Stay away from my car."

"Put my dick on your car, got it."

\- x -

They celebrate Jack and Michael's official recovery with a heist. 'Official' because they've been doing stuff Caleb told them not to long before she told them they were free to get back to work. They then celebrate the successful heist with crew strip poker.

Someone always suggests it, usually Geoff, but it rarely turns out well for anyone. Jack has never needed to take her shirt off in one of these games. By the end of the night, Geoff and Gavin are usually bare ass naked for two very different reasons; Geoff because he's not as good as he thinks he is and Gavin because he has no idea what he's doing. Jack and Ray are always clothed; Jack because she's a poker champ, obviously, and Ray because of the 'jaws of life' thing. Everyone else knows how to have a fun time playing.

Not to say it isn't fun. Jack enjoys playing partially because she actually likes poker and partially because it's fun sitting around with her crew drinking and smoking all night. They pass around drinks, beer and shots of whatever expensive thing Geoff has that night, and a joint is put in circulation almost immediately; it's a good time. The adrenaline of a successful heist and the knowledge that they're going to have heavy pockets for a while only makes it better.

"Beh!" Geoff scoffs loudly as he throws down another bad hand and has to stand to take his shoes off. Even for Geoff he's having a bad night. They're all cheaters, of course, so their deck is sort of lopsided but weirdly enough, it keeps it fair. Still, Geoff usually wins and loses his shirt on and off a few times before this point.

"Maybe we shouldn't be using cards with ladies on them," Lindsay suggests. "We know how bad Geoff's luck is with women."

"You shut up!" Geoff barks. "My luck is fine! I'm just having an off night is all," he insists and gestures around the coffee table vaguely. "It's weird with you all dating and whatever. I'm like the seventh wheel over here."

"Dude, I told you to jump on Ray before Ryan did," Michael insists. Ryan deals out a new hand of cards. "That was like the lowest the Ray market could get. He would've been all over you."

"Yup," Ray agrees as he sorts his new hand. "You could have had prime real estate for dirt cheap. Look at this." He stands and twists himself around to show off his lack of an ass. Geoff scoffs loudly but everyone else nods in mute agreement.

"Hundred bucks and I'll let Ray spit on you," Ryan offers.

"You're pimping me out already?" Ray says indignantly. He reaches over somewhat blindly to squeeze one of Jack's breasts in his hand. "You should be pimpin' this out, anyways. Five hundred bucks and Jack will spit on you, Geoff. That's a sweet deal."

"Stop it," Jack huffs faintly, pushing Ray's hand away. "Geoff can afford way more than that."

"Ha ha ha," Geoff says obnoxiously. "Funny." Ray reaches over curiously to squeeze one of Ryan's tits as well and Ryan just looks down questioningly before shrugging and leaving Ray to do as he pleases. Neither Jack or Ray have any complaints about Ryan leaving his shirt off.

"Man, you're just not going to let this go, are you?" Michael laughs.

"You had like four bloody years to make your move!" Gavin agrees loudly.

“More than that,” Lindsay guarantees.

"Knock it off, assholes," Geoff bites irritably as he folds his hand and pours himself another heavy handed drink.

"Come on, everyone here knows we're talking about Jack," Lindsay insists. Jack glances up curiously, peering around the table but not saying anything as she goes back to studying her hand. "Jack's fucking hot."

"Yeah," Ryan agrees with a smug smirk.

"Dude, even Gavin has a crush on her," Michael says. Jack cuts Gavin a look who immediately boils over into incoherent squawks and blushes bright red. Interesting. "You're not hiding shit, Geoff."

"I was never hiding anything!" Geoff barks shortly. "Why don't you all mind your own business?"

"Dude, Ryan, your tits are fucking _ripped_. I've never noticed before," Ray murmurs. Ryan goes ahead and passes the joint to Lindsay and away from Ray.

"You act like it's fucking hard to ask Jack on a date or something," Michael jokes as he folds, too. Lindsay busies one hand to squeeze Ryan's other breasts, nodding at Ray in agreement who makes a 'see?' expression. Ryan doesn't pay much mind.

"It's really not," Jack adds in offhandedly.

"Well I don't see you fuckin' doing it, either," Geoff grumbles halfly. This, apparently, is taken as a direct challenge as many things by Michael are. He smacks one hand down on the table, making it rattle, before gesturing to Jack pointedly. She looks over her cards questioningly at him.

"Jack," Michael says plainly. "Date. Movie. Me, you, these two losers probably," he gestures to Gavin feeling his own tits and Lindsay fondling Ryan's. "I dunno, Sunday?"

"Sure," Jack agrees with a small shrug. "Sounds fun."

"You're not fucking serious," Geoff says flatly, not exactly a question by the sound.

"My name's Ray," Ray agrees with a nod. "Oh! Oh you meant- yeah. His name's Ryan."

"Yeah?" Jack muses back. "I like Lindsay and I'm willing to give Michael a chance."

"What about me?" Gavin insists. Jack looks at him without amusement before looking back down to her cards.

"Can't win 'em all," she assures. Gavin frowns dramatically.

"Literally that easy," Michael reiterates pointedly. As they all reveal their hands, a quick one over proves Ryan the victor this round.

"Goddammit! Ryan distracted me with his sweet rack!" Lindsay insists but she pulls her bra off anyways. Jack toes her shoes off instead. Of course she's not taking her shirt off first.

"Nah, you just suck," Michael promises. "Ryan does have a sweet rack, though. How come your tits don't look like that?" He smacks one of her breasts lightly and Lindsay scoffs a bit.

"You never complain when they're in your mouth," she reminds him pointedly.

"I mean, you're right," Michael agrees with a nod. He pretends to cover his mouth to speak in a fake whisper to Gavin. "See, if we also date them, she can't leave us for Ryan and his slut boobs."

"Ryan's boobs are total sluts," Ray confirms.

"You're all fired," Geoff assures blandly. Lindsay shuffles the deck again for the next hand and while she does, Geoff turns himself minutely in Jack's direction. Jack glances at him out the corner of the eye but doesn’t offer him much attention. "Look, Jack, maybe we could talk over dinner sometime. You know, alone?" She bursts out in unbridled laughter. It takes her a moment but she rests her hand on her chest and tries to settle her giggles with little fruit.

" _No_!" she laughs. " _God no!_ " The lads clearly find just as much amusement in the situation because they're laughing with her and hard. Ryan tries to smother his grin but it doesn't do much good. Of course, Geoff is definitely not amused.

"Oh," Jack breathes out as she soothes her laughter and gathers up her cards. "'Dinner'."

"Jack," Ryan says quietly. "Don't you think that was a _little_ mean?" Jack assumes this is a joke but when he looks at her pointedly like he wants her to do something, she stops laughing completely. That was mean? She glances at Geoff halfly. He looks thoroughly disappointed but more so embarrassed. She turns back to Ryan irritably and he shrugs. Since when has he been on Geoff’s side anyways?

Jack places her cards face down on the table and physically moves her chair to face Geoff head on.

"Geoff," she says. "I do not want to date you."

"Yeah, I picked up on that," Geoff replies sarcastically.

"No Geoff," Jack assures. "I really don't think you have. You're a _terrible_ human being. You've treated me like shit basically the entire time I've known you. Yeah, I get it, you think it's _hilarious_ I'm fat. It's been real funny over the years. Real comedy gold you calling me manly or worthless or disposal. Absolutely genius. Remember those games you used to play with your little friends? You know the ones, where you tried to say whatever you could to offend me? No? You were real good at it. How about all those dates of mine you ruined? Or the back handed gifts maybe?"

"I-" Geoff begins.

"Real cute of you, Geoff," she cuts him off immediately. "Ha ha ha, 'he bullies you because he likes you'. Don't worry, I know you like me. Really, I do. Weirdly enough, I've been ignoring it. I've seen how you treat the others, Geoff. It's disgusting. You bring them home in the middle of the night when you're piss drunk then fuck 'em and throw them out with some cash like they're sex workers. The only solace of which is at least you don't treat actual sex workers any worse. Then what? I get to take them home? Help them call a cab? I've had girls crying at the front doors because in your dumb, drunk state you said you loved them. That you would _marry_ them. Not that you _remember_ saying those things after being blackout drunk. You once got drunk and started crying because you 'just loved me so much' and then, surprise, blackedout. Honestly, I'm still not sure if you remember that or not. But it's fine because you are drunk, right?

It's fine that you send me a bunch of texts you don't even remember the next day. Most of them are incoherent, don't worry. Certainly wouldn't hold up in court for, you know, sexual harassment or anything. Yeah, don't think you want me reading any of those out loud. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't give a fuck if you're an alcoholic. Ryan's a literal _junkie_. You're just such an _unpleasant_ person. At any point did you really think I'd _ever_ bother dating someone like you? So you can what? Get bored of me and throw me out with some money so I'll pretend it never happened like your last 'boyfriend'? Remember Allison? I'm sure you don't. I had to give away your _cat_ because you kept forgetting to feed it."

"That's-" he tries again but again, she doesn't let him.

"Oh, I know. I'm 'different'. Trust me, I know. It's fucking creepy, Geoff. See, because you somehow think it's 'cute' or 'romantic' that I'm the 'only one' you'd 'do right' by. It's not. You're just a fucking asshole. So no, you don't get a free chance just because you're 'infatuated' with me or whatever. I'm not even sure you know anything about me and I've known you for years. I'm _not_ going on a date with you. I'd sooner melt my face off with boiling queso. Get it? Because _I'm fucking fat_?"

Geoff doesn't try to say anything once she's done, looking startled if nothing else. Everyone else has gone exceptionally quiet but that's fine, Jack's pretty sure she got it all covered herself. She turns back to the table, downing her most recent shot before picking her cards back up and sorting them out.

"That any better, Ryan?" she asks scathingly. Ryan mouths an 'I'm sorry' across the table to Geoff.

"Oooh," Ray says lowly. "Dragged."

\- x -

Geoff feels like shit when he wakes up and this time, it's not entire due to drinking. Sure, he drank a lot, too, but mostly he's just vaguely annoyed and slightly heartbroken. It's not like he's trying to convince anyone he's a nice guy, he's not, but neither is Jack. Who is she to judge him? He knows he's not perfect.

Besides, she was being way too dramatic. Sure he's done some awful things over the years but he's matured. He's way nicer to Jack now than he ever was before. So he still brings people home from time to time, yeah, but a guy gets lonely when he's drunk. He can't exactly help what drunk Geoff says. Drunk Geoff is an idiot! He gives them money because it seems like the polite thing to do after a one night stand. What's he supposed to do? Actually marry them?

Only proving to irritate himself more, Geoff reaches over the lump under his sheets for the beer bottle on his side table. He doesn't have to make excuses for himself. He is the boss around here even if people like to forget it. The bottle is unfortunately empty but all his movement stirs his bedmate.

Jeremy drowsily raises his head from under the sheet, blinking at Geoff a bit before yawning. Geoff stares at him unhappily.

"Why are you always here when I wake up?" he demands. How does he keep getting here?

"You invite me over, Geoff," Jeremy murmurs. He crosses his arms to rest himself on and lowers his head likely to sooth some of his hangover. "We're drinking buddies."

"We absolutely are not," Geoff promises. He doesn't remember ever inviting Jeremy over to his house. Alright, Jack's right about _some_ things but it's Jeremy. He doesn't count. "No offense, but I'm pretty sure I can do better than you, Jeremy. And by no offense I mean complete offense."

From his other side, Matt slowly rouses. Geoff's not sure why he opened his mouth. Matt ruffles the back of his head a bit before glancing around, spotting Jeremy and exchanging a small smile with him. That's not better! That’s like going from a four and half to a four. And unfortunately they don’t combine to make an eight and half.

"Does that mean we slept together?" Jeremy inquires. "Because I sure as hell don't remember."

"Last I remember, Geoff was crying because Scotch was Jack's favourite or something?" Matt murmurs. Jeremy laughs.

"Oh yeah, I remember that," he agrees. "Was that before or after the whiskey-vodka shots?" In reply, Matt just shrugs.

"Get out of my house!" Geoff shouts.

"You're awfully cranky for a guy that hugged me for a half hour straight last night," Jeremy yawns.

"Hey, don't worry champ, you can still win Jack back," Matt insists.

"Fired! Both of you!" Geoff barks. "Leave!"

\- x -

Jack does make an effort to look nice for her date with Michael, Lindsay, and Gavin but she always looks nice so that’s sort of a moot point, really. When no one inevitably shows up at their scheduled time, she takes the short walk down the hall to Michael’s apartment. Ryan and Ray are out on their own date of which she only hopes doesn’t end up with one of them coming home covered in blood but her hopes are minimum.

At no point had Jack really thought to confirm that Michael was being serious about their date but she supposes that’s alright. If he wasn’t then he wasn’t and that’s really all there is too it. She’s not particularly overwhelmed with emotion over this date, if it is in fact one, and seeing if it goes anywhere is just that. She knocks and after a moment passes and there’s no reply, she knocks louder. The Jones residence can get quite loud sometimes despite the hardy soundproofing. No amount of soundproofing in the world can stop Michael Jones at full volume.

Sure enough, the door opens but Lindsay is hurrying away from it immediately, leaving Jack to help herself in.

“Hey Jack,” Lindsay greets in passing.

“Goddammit Gavin!” Michael shouts from somewhere else in the house. “I fucking told you to stop moving my hearing aid!” Ah yes, the Jones residence.

“Sorry, we’re running a bit late,” Lindsay assures as she tries to brush her hair in the hallway mirror. “I told Michael to text you but, uh, I guess he didn’t hear.”

“That’s alright,” Jack promises. There’s a reason they’re meeting long before the movie starts. Lindsay and Michael are typically on time when it comes to most things but then there’s Gavin.

“Gavin I swear to god! If I come in that room and you don’t have pants on!” Lindsay yells down the hall.

“Micoo no!” Gavin yelps from the bedroom. “Micoo!” So they’re almost ready then. Lindsay throws her brush down to enter the fray in the bedroom and Jack just patiently loiters in the entryway. She doesn’t mind waiting especially if it means Gavin’s going to attend this date with pants.

“Lindsay wait!” Gavin squawks loudly. The thumping isn’t that concerning. In the mean time, Jack goes ahead and checks on her own boyfriends. She fiddles with her phone a bit; still no messages from Geoff. She hasn’t heard or see him all week, actually. It’s a little odd but he’s probably still sulking like the Geoff they all know and tolerate. He can go fuck himself if he thinks she’s going to apologise to him in any way, shape, or form.

Jack: Are you two alright?  
swag attack: ryan fingered me in the back of a police car.  
ryan’s left slut boob: Ray put my hand down his pants.   
swag attack: that’s what i said   
Jack: Police car? It’s been thirty minutes.  
swag attack: we got extra handcuff keys right?  
swag attack: gootTA gO

She didn’t say anything about hoping they wouldn’t get arrested. Her hopes aren’t dashed yet. Jack pockets her phone again. They’re good at getting home in one piece, sometimes with more pieces than they left with. Curiously, she peers towards the back bedroom in search for her dates in the rustling and hushed voices that echo from the back.

Gavin comes stumbling out down the hall and Michael and Lindsay follow much more elegantly. They've somehow managed to pull a miracle and are all wearing pants. Jack smiles faintly as they approach. They look nice or, at any rate, don't look like they plan on holding up the movie theatre. Just a nice, simple date is all she's asking for.

"This idiot can't judge time for the life of him," Michael scoffs.

"Lindsay took forever in the shower!" Gavin complains.

"You were in the shower with me," Lindsay says shortly.

"Stop!" Michael barks. "It doesn't matter. We're ready to go. Everyone get the fuck out before we miss the movie." Jack doesn't need to be told again. She heads for the door with the others as Michael grabs his keys and follows them out. They're ready to head out from there.

"You look nice," Lindsay compliments with a warm smile.

"Oh, thank you," Jack grins. "I like how you've done your hair." Lindsay pleasantly fluffs her hair a bit with her hands.

"Thank you! Michael doesn't like it," she says in a way that clearly disagrees with him.

"I don't," Michael agrees. "It doesn't frame your face at all."

"It frames my face fine," Lindsay assures. Jack nods in agreement and Michael rolls his eyes fondly. They head down to the garage where they keep their cars and Michael gestures to one quickly.

"Get in- and we're _not_ shooting it up," he assures pointedly at Jack.

"Don't look at me," she murmurs and says matter-of-factly, "I didn't steal your car."

"Yeah?" Michael scoffs. "So when does your boyfriend come along and shoot us up?"

"No comment," Jack replies. She's not saying that's going to happen but look, it's Ryan. While Ray is harmless on his own, he does have a habit of edging on Ryan. They're probably too busy doing their own thing. She climbs into the backseat with Lindsay while Gavin and Michael take up the front.

On the way to the theatre, Lindsay pulls up the local news on her phone. Unsurprisingly, Ryan and Ray are in a high speed chase through the city in a cop car. That being said, Jack enjoys her movie date. As much as a person can enjoy a horror movie, at least.

\- x -

Jack feels a little bad, Michael and Gavin are probably going to have bruises with how hard she gripped them, but fairly, the movie was Michael's idea. Besides, Gavin hit himself in the face with such ferocity he gave himself a bloody nose. It was fun, Jack will reluctantly agree to that even if she is probably going to have nightmares for weeks. Why would you give a shark a flamethrower!

"That dude's head _exploded_ ," Michael laughs and it immediately causes a reaction from Gavin. "Just- eggs everywhere."

"Stop!" he squeaks as he tries to clean some of the dried blood from under his nose. "Ugh, that was so gross! How can they be allowed to show something like that?" Jack laughs a bit.

"Dude, Michael and Ryan put explosives in a guy's skull once and you're freaking out over a movie?" Lindsay insists.

"Eggs didn't come out of there!" Gavin insists. "They were, like, all squishy and-" he makes himself dry heave at the thought. It wasn't nearly that bad and it was bad CGI anyways. Jack rolls her eyes.

"I bet they pop," she teases. "Like Cadbury eggs."

"God," Gavin gags. "Stop! Stop!"

"Don't throw up," Michael instructs and he swats Gavin hard on the back. "Not till we get inside at least. Jack doesn't want to see that."

"I really don't," she agrees. She's full of delicious movie popcorn and junk candy but that means so is Gavin and she'd prefer if they both stayed that way. Gavin waves a hand to indicate he's fine and Lindsay giggles. They stop in front of the Jones’ apartment but Jack lives right down the hall anyways. She turns to them with a pleased smile. Michael gives Gavin a little shove and when he doesn’t respond, he shakes his head mildly.

“Thanks for agreeing to this,” Lindsay says instead.

“It was fun,” Jack assures. “Better than I thought it would be anyways.” Sometimes it is just nice to have a movie date without guns or police sirens or possible death. Obviously Jack would have preferred picking something that wasn’t a blood curdling horror movie but she was certainly entertained. Lindsay leans into her a bit.

“Listen, you wanna lean down here a bit so I can kiss you or?” she asks. Perhaps the heels were a little unnecessary here; they’re all quite a bit shorter than her unlike Ryan. Jack nods and she tucks her hands into her lap as she leans down just enough to let Lindsay reach. Lindsay gives her a quick, sweet peck and then beams, “woof.” Michael pushes her out of the way to give Jack a little peck as well. She looks to Gavin expectantly and he immediately finds enough blood in his face to blush again.

“Come on,” Michael bites at him. “Just fucking kiss her, I don’t want to hear you bitching later about not doing it.”

“We’ll never hear the end of it if you don’t,” Lindsay agrees in exasperation.

“Alright! Alright,” Gavin agrees, egged on by his datemates’ insistence. “Calm down.” He quickly pretends to push aside all of his nervousness and Jack pleasantly lean down for him as well. Gavin was really rather nice tonight. She knows he’s not nearly as dumb or volatile as he pretends to be so it’s nice to have him be tame for once. Like the others, he gives her a quick, sweet peck like most people get at the end of dates- people not Ryan.

“Stimulate the nip nops!” Or Ray. They all turn and sure enough, there’s Ray peering out of Jack’s apartment. Ryan, standing with him, has also turned to look at Ray.

“You know, usually when ‘spying’, you’re not _supposed_ to let the people you’re spying on know you’re there,” he assures flatly. Obviously, Ray does know this.

Ray mouths a small ‘oh’ and nods. He moves just enough to hide himself behind Ryan and in quieter voice repeats, “stimulate the nip nops.” Ryan shoves Ray with his shoulder suddenly, trying to push him back into the apartment without the use of his hands.

“Get in there,” Ryan instructs irritably as Ray fights him.

“Stop, man! I’m getting Jack laid! You know Gavin’s a slut! Stimulate his nip nops!” Ray yelps urgently and the door snaps shut as Ryan finally gets him back inside. Jack turns back to her dates, shaking her head mutely, and Gavin covers his chest with both hands to protect his nipples.

“I should, uh,” she murmurs. “Go. Deal with them.” She _supposes_ they need help getting out of their handcuffs some time tonight. Lindsay giggles behind her hand. “Thanks for the movie. It was fun. Maybe we could do it again?”

“You gonna bring your idiots next time?” Michael asks and gestures his head down the hall. Jack sees that ending nothing but terribly. Admittedly, this could have gone terribly too so that’s fair.

“I’ll talk to them,” Jack promises. Somehow she doubts it will take much convincing, though. Ray is open to trying most things at least once and the only reason Ryan and Lindsay broke up was because she wanted to date Michael. It seems ideal. They already work together well.

“Goodnight, Jack,” Lindsay says and her boyfriends nod their goodbyes as they disappear back into their apartment. Jack smiles to herself a little. She can actually see herself doing this again and that’s kind of nice. Of course, she’s have to check with Ryan and Ray first anyways but something tells her they don’t mind that much. She glances down the hall where her own boyfriends have disappeared before head after them to give them a hand.

When Jack enters her apartment, she met with the sight of Ray and Ryan standing back to back near the kitchen. Between the two of them, at least one of them should be able to get out of handcuffs with a key but obviously not. They both stop to look at her when they notice she’s returned. Jack gestures to them questioningly.

“Ryan’s having trouble getting it in the hole,” Ray states simply.

“I wouldn’t have trouble doing anything if you’d stop fidgeting,” Ryan retorts.

“I’m not fidgeting,” Ray huffs. “If you weren’t so big, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“It’s not Ryan’s fault he’s a big boy,” Jack insists jokingly. Ryan looks at her without amusement and she approaches them to lend a hand. She settles her purse down on the counter and Ryan hands her the key before he gets frustrated. The height difference between their hands does make it a fete to get either of them unlocked. Why they didn’t just unlock themselves is beyond Jack- and probably them. Ray turns his back to her gladly and she frees his hands for him. He rubs his wrist, a touch raw from all the rustling, and tosses the cuffs onto the table. Ryan turns his back to her as well, just as eager to get his cuffs off. When she moves to help him, though, Ray stops her.

“I mean, we don’t have to uncuff Ryan _right_ away,” he murmurs. Jack glances at him curiously and Ryan immediately puffs himself out, ready to argue. “He’s sort of sexy like this, right?” Recognizing what he’s getting at, Ryan’s disagreement dies down before it begins. Jack twirls the key around her finger, giving Ryan the once over.

“You have a point,” she agrees. “It’s not often we get to see him- well 'vulnerable' is probably the wrong word.” Ryan squints at both of them for a moment before adjusting his hands behind his back and looking at the key in Jack’s hand. He seems to be considering his position.

“I want the key,” he finally states.

“What will you do for the key?” Ray asks suggestively. Ryan pretends to debate it for a moment. They all know Ryan’s into some weird shit, he’s not fooling anyones. Not that he’s trying particularly hard to fool anyone.

“I’m told I’m great at oral sex,” he replies. He’s not wrong. Jack drops the key into Ray’s hand who shoves it in his hoodie pocket for relatively safe keeping.

“I’m going to go wash up,” she says with a grin. After spending all afternoon in a dirty Los Santos movie theater, she’d like to clean up a little before getting too touchy with her boyfriends. Plus, she sort of smells like popcorn. Not the good kind of popcorn either, the buttery, greasy kind which, while delicious, isn’t exactly sexy. Ryan probably won’t be able to trick Ray back into handcuffs before she gets back.

As Jack heads into the bathroom, her boys make for the bed. She washes her face in the sink and ditches her shirt, speckled with Gavin's blood, in the laundry. A quick freshen up with cool water leaves her feeling refreshed again. By the time she returns Ryan hasn't gotten out of his cuffs. He actually seems to be rather content with going along with this. Whether that has anything to do with Ray grinding against him is to be questioned.

Ray takes Ryan being unable to use his hands to his complete advantage, straddling him easily and dry humping him through their clothes. Ryan does his best to arch into each movement but by the frustrated noises he makes, it's not working how he wants it to. When she approaches, Ray stops and Ryan lets out an unhappy little grunt.

"You're having fun," Jack says as she sits on the edge of the bed and leans in to fondly kiss Ray's lips.

"Just waiting for you, babe," Ray assures. He rolls his hips forward again and Ryan groans lowly.

"If we're done waiting," he presses eagerly. "Ray's been teasing me all afternoon."

"Yeah," Ray agrees. "Not intentionally though. How was I supposed to know the cops would see us?"

"We were in the back of their cruiser," Ryan replies flatly. Ray shrugs animatedly.

"Did you two really get arrested trying to bang in a police car?" Jack asks in disbelief. Neither of them want to answer right away, looking at each other as if one of them would be able to come up with a convincing lie.

"Maybe," Ray murmurs. "What matters is Ryan's handcuffed and I'm horny." To that, Jack can agree. They've been arrested for dumber things in the past. She gives Ray another kiss and he meets her affectionately, much softer with one another than they are with Ryan. He kneads one of her tits in his hand before pulling away to dismount Ryan. Ray unbuttons the front of his jeans and Ryan lifts his waist enough to help get them off. With his hands chained together, his shirt won't be coming off but that's not a big deal.

Jack teasingly pinches one of Ryan's nipples through his shirt and he exhales shortly. His chest isn't all that sensitive but he really does have nice boobs. She moves up the bed a bit to tug Ryan's head into her lap, pulling up the edge of her skirt to her thighs. Ryan presses his mouth against her hard on eagerly and Jack just knits her fingers into his hair. Ray shimmies out of his shorts and climbs back atop Ryan’s hips, returning to rubbing himself against Ryan’s hard on now sans clothing. He bites his lip as he grinds Ryan’s cock against his clit, inciting a sweet moan from both of them.

With Ryan’s hands otherwise occupied, Jack pushes her panties down to free her erection and Ryan tilts himself enough to take it in his mouth. She lets out a soft hum of pleasure as she strokes his head. Ryan bucks his hips needily and Ray moans in response, pleased by the hot friction.

“Gonna fuck you,” he groans out from the back of his throat, holding himself up using Ryan's hip bones as support.

“Fuck, yeah,” Ryan rasps back, arching against the bed again to the extent that his position will allow him. His movement is quite limited in police cuffs, though not enough to make him uncomfortable. Ray hops off the bed and tugs at the end of his sweater slightly before going through the dresser drawer. Jack keeps Ryan entertained for the time being, reaching down to palm his strained hardon while he mouths her cock. Ray makes an annoyed noise and Jack glances at him curiously.

“Is it in the bathroom?” Jack offers. Ray lights up a bit.

“Oh, right. I knew that,” he murmurs and hurriedly skitters to grab it, almost as impatient as Ryan. He returns with bright pink dildo in one hand and lube in the other. Jack pulls Ryan back by his hair and he lollies his hand into her grip, spit clinging to his lips. She pushes her skirt down to cover herself again but steps out of her panies with a few shakes of the hips. Ray rolls Ryan onto his front and his cuffed hands leave him no choice but to rest mostly on his face. He adjusts his wrist a bit and settles himself somewhat on his knees where he’s comfortable.

Jack moves to kiss Ray again and she rubs her fingers against his cunt until he ruts against her. He’s already well wet from teasing Ryan, and himself, but she coats a few of her fingers with lube before properly fingering him. Ray reciprocates enthusiastically, dipping his fingers down the front of her skirt and stroking her twitching dick. It take Ryan a moment to realise he’s not being paid attention to before he adjusts himself to peer over his shoulder. He seems more than content with watching the show.

Ray, however, is well aware of what he wants. Once he’s decides he’s stretched enough, he turns his attention back to Ryan. Jack pushes Ryan’s shirt up around his ribs as she runs her fingers over his spine and the little inked lines tallied there. His skin’s already hot to the touch. Ray drizzles lube onto his fingers liberally and then a bit more between Ryan’s cheeks. He thrusts a pair of fingers in without much wait and Ryan lurches forward with a moan on his tongue. Jack rolls her fingers against Ray’s clit as he briskly preps Ryan.

Ryan groans into the bedsheets with hot want, throwing his hips into Ray’s fingers to urge him along quicker. Obviously both of them have been teasing each other all night. Not that Jack is surprised by this at all. Once they get started it’s a very slippery slope- a slope Jack often finds herself descending with them. What can she say? They know how to get her excited.

Jack rubs the length of the dildo against Ray’s pussy, rolling the bulb end against his clit before gingerly pressing it into him. He gasps, twitching his hips into it. Nearly as impatient as Ryan, Ray withdraws his fingers and Ryan makes an unpleased noise. He rubs the other end of the pink dildo against Ryan’s stretched hole, slicking it further with lube before eagerly thrusting it into him. Ryan jerks automatically, rasping a muffled moan against the bed and he clenches his fingers in search of something to grab onto.

It's actually a rather pretty imagine; Ryan face down and drooling as Ray fucks him enthusiastically. The guttural noises he makes only aid in making Jack's dick harder. Being a bit smaller than him, Ray has a hard time finding good purchase or angle but that doesn't deter him much. Jack kisses Ray's neck fondly from behind, hearing his pants and moans up close. Ryan bites the sheets.

The little bump in the dildo doesn't actually give Ray enough simultaneous to cum like this but he tries anyways, desperately grinding into Ryan in an effort to get them both off. All it really does it press against Ryan's prostate, his cock dripping needily beneath him. Ray tilts his head back into Jack's shoulder.

"Trade you," Jack offers and she pinches his clit between her fingers.

"Please," Ryan groans. Ray nods agreeably, withdrawing gradually and eliciting another growl from Ryan. Jack bumps the toy against Ray's sweet spot again, a shudder jolting down his spine, before pulling it out. She sets it on the side table where it's out of the way as she grabs a condom from the drawer. Ray pushes Ryan onto his back again, leaning down to kiss him affectionately and Ryan curls his toes.

Jack slides her skirt down her hips and steps out of it before climbing back onto the bed and unwrapping the rubber. Meanwhile, Ray draws a knee over Ryan's head, straddling his face. He tangles a hand in Ryan's hair and braces the other on the headboard just so he doesn't actually squish their boyfriend.

" _Oh fuck_ ," Ray moans, rocking against Ryan's mouth. Jack rolls her condom on hurriedly and settles herself between Ryan's legs. He moves to meet her, shifting himself to be in a better position for both of them. To be honest, Jack had always sort of thought it taboo to use her cock for, well, much of anything actually. She's not really sure why she thought that anymore.

Gingerly, Jack presses her slicked dick against his already well stretched hole and by the muffled groan Ryan makes, he's needy for it. She rocks into him slowly, also taking a bit of an advantage of his limited movement to tease him, and palms his strained erection. Ryan jerks his hips but with Ray sat on his face and Jack between his legs, there isn't much wiggle room. Jack eases off a bit just to assure he has some space to move.

Ray let's out a cracked little moan as he orgasms and squeezes Ryan's head snugly between his thighs in the jolt of pleasure. Ryan arches against the bed in an attempt to rub his cock into Jack's hand but this isn't nearly enough friction. She treats him well, though, finally stopping the teasing and stroking his dick in time with each of her thrusts.

Ryan pants out openly when Ray climbs off, catching his breath only to use it again in a groan. Jack moves quicker and he responds by throwing his head back hotly. When Ray runs his fingers up Ryan's exposed throat, he cums. The rural noise he makes in his orgasm makes Jack's face flush. He always has to make such sexy sounds, it's unfair. Her hips stutter and she rasps out a hot noise as she cums shortly after, easily brought there by Ryan's finish.

Jack pulls out and they all catch their breath a bit. Ray did, in fact, get her laid. Though she's not sure it counts if he had to do it himself. As she pulls her condom off, Ray nudges Ryan onto his side in order to unlock his cuffs. Ryan rolls his shoulders to stretch out his joints before rubbing his raw wrists tenderly. The metal has bit him a little, little lines of blood on his wrists, but they're no where near as bad as what happens when he's usually in cuffs.

Ray stretches out beside him and Jack takes her bra off before joining them. She makes the mistake of thinking it'll be a good night's rest. Just as she's closing her eyes, she feels something snap around her wrist. Sure enough, there's the warm handcuff. Ray lifts his wrist curiously, examining where they're now chained to one another, before looking at Ryan questioningly. They should absolutely never take their eyes off Ryan, honestly.

Ryan holds up the key for a moment and then with a little flourish of his hand, it disappears. Jack knows he's just slid it down his shirt sleeve.

"Ryan-" she murmurs.

"Why?" Ray asks in exasperation. Ryan grins.

"What will you do for the key?" he mimics teasingly. Says the guy thirty seconds from nap time. Ray looks at the chain for a moment then at Jack. They can certainly get free, that's no problem; Jack knows how to lift the lock on cuffs as simple as these. Ryan played along.

"Choke you?" Ray offers to some degree jokingly. Ryan swallows. Oh. "I was kidding! Are you for real, man?"

"That- makes sense," Jack says. That actually makes a ton of sense.

"Well," Ryan replies and he shrugs with vague agreement. "You brought it up."

"Fuck dude," Ray murmurs. "You're a real fucking weirdo, you know that?" Ryan gladly nods.

"Alright but I actually need that nap first," Jack insists. "Twenty minutes then choke Ryan." If that's what he likes, she'll give it a try. At this point, that's probably the least weird part of their relationship.

"Man, you're not gonna walk straight tomorrow," Ray comments as he snuggles up between them. Ryan just laughs. 


	4. two guys, one moon, one rock

Jack tries to brush some of the filth from her person as she wanders down the hall to her apartment but it's a fruitless effort. Her shirt is bloody and ripped anyways; something not easily brushed aside. Granted, her nose is bloody, too, and one eye swollen dark blue which definitely isn’t going to be brushed off. It's been a fun night. She lets herself in and when she does, she can already hear the soft hum of Ray's voice. She smiles to herself a bit; it's nice having someone to come home to.

Both Ray and Ryan glance over the back of the couch as Jack returns and she tiredly empties her pockets at the entry table.

"What happened to you?" Ray asks curiously. Jack rubs her nose with the back of her hand to dislodge some of the dried blood.

"Bad bet," she replies with a shrug. It's not a big deal; she isn’t hurt that bad. Ryan laughs a little. "I'm fine."

"Oh yeah, you look fine," Ray snorts. He has a point but hey, Jack likes a good fight on occasion. She joins them on the couch, heavily sitting herself to Ryan's other side and tugging her bra off from under her shirt to toss aside. With a pleased sigh, she sits back to relax a moment.

"How much did you lose?" Ryan inquires. He's fiddling with his phone and Ray hovers, somewhat uselessly trying to help him with whatever they're up to. Ryan can’t pause long enough to take instruction.

"Didn't," Jack assures. "Couple guys didn't like having to pay out ten grand to me." They changed their tune real fast after a few broken bones. Ten thousand dollars isn't a price Jack just ‘let's go'. Ryan smirks fondly.

"No- Ryan," Ray murmurs in exasperation. "Dude, chill out with the buttons for a minute." Ryan absolutely doesn't do this, tapping around as he sees fit despite clearly not knowing what he's doing. He knows when to ask for help when he needs and wants it and when he doesn’t, well, there's just no helping him.

"What are you doing?" Jack asks curiously, tilting her head onto Ryan's shoulder to peer at the screen of his phone.

"Trying to show Ryan how to Snapchat," Ray says. "Alright, you just sent a dick pic to Michael." Ryan pauses a moment to look at his phone before shrugging nonchalantly.

"You know my phone already sends pictures, right?" Ryan insists. "What's the point of sending pictures you can only see for a certain amount of time? What use is that?"

"It's supposed to be fun, Ryan," Ray huffs. "Try not to be a killjoy for two seconds maybe."

"That's longer than I can see a photo apparently," Ryan replies halfly. Jack laughs a little. His age really shows sometimes. Ryan's phone buzzes and Ray glances at the screen shortly.

"Cool, Michael has now sent you a dick pic. Congratulations on your first sext," he says with little infection.

"Is that what sexting is?" Ryan asks, sounding quite unimpressed. "I could just show him my dick."

"Don't do that," Jack sighs. They're trying to take things easy with Michael, Lindsay, and Gavin. As much as Ryan likes putting out immediately, this situation is a little more delicate. There's six of them, they're all relatively good friends, and they're co-workers. Messing things up would be way more of a problem in the long run and Jack really doesn’t want that.

"I didn't say I was going to," Ryan assures with a scoff as if that isn’t totally a thing he would do. "He just lives right down the hall is all I’m saying."

"Yeah man, usually you don't fucking sext someone by accident," Ray says sarcastically. "Sexting is an art, Ryan. You don't just throw a dick pic out there and call it a day."

"Uh huh," Ryan replies, thoroughly unconvinced. "I remember the good ol' days when a person would walk five feet and suck a dick instead."

"Yesterday?" Jack murmurs.

"Yeah," Ryan sighs with fein reminisce. Ray rolls his eyes but he lets Ryan do as he wants with his phone. Ryan'll figure it out eventually. Jack can't wait to see the disaster that comes out of this. Ray already sends a ridiculous amount of selfies to the LSPD and news stations.

"I haven't heard from Geoff in like a week and a half," Ray mentions as he takes up his DS in hand. "You think he's okay?"

"He's fine," Ryan insists. "Jack just tore him a new asshole is all." Jack scoffs under her breath. Geoff can react like a child and lock himself away all he wants, he's not going to make her feel guilty about anything.

"That was pretty brutal," Ray agrees. "You think you upset him or something?"

"So what?" Jack answers shortly. "He'll get over it. It's Geoff." It's not like he's ever cared if he upset her. In fact, there used to be a time where that was his goal. Geoff's a big boy now, he can take a punch especially when he’s been asking for it for years.

"I guess," Ray murmurs but he doesn't really sound like he disagrees. Geoff will sulk over anything, anyways. He'll get enough booze in his system and forget about it any day now, unfortunately. "So do you, like, hate him now or what?"

"Huh?" Jack replies bemusedly. "No? Of course not. Geoff's like my best friend. I mean, he's a dickbag but whatever." They're all assholes, she knows that. Sometimes Geoff just needs to know when he's pushed something too far. Jack isn't required to be nice about it.

"That's one word for it," Ryan says. "Maybe he'll stop pinning after you now."

"I doubt it," Ray snorts humourously. Jack shrugs, indifferent. She could care less whether or not Geoff's actually upset over this or whether it has any effect over his little crush. The fact of the matter is, she's not even going to consider dating Geoff unless he changes his attitude and she doesn't see that happening. Old dogs may learn new tricks but Geoff won't even learn how to do his own taxes.

"You were, like, in love with him at one point, yeah?" Ray asks. Ryan laughs loudly, likely in disbelief, but Jack begrudgingly doesn't say anything.

"Oh what, really?" he questions. Jack shrugs without sincerity. So what if she was? Things change or in Geoff's case; don't.

"I was young and dumb once," she admits. “And Geoff was handsome.” They've known each other a long time and they've been through alot together. It's easy to get feelings like that tangled up after a while and it's even easier to get them untangled after a single night. Jack isn’t the same dumb twenty year old she used to be.

“Still sorta handsome,” Ray agrees.

“Yeah,” Jack snorts. “When he’s not contorting his own head up his ass.”

“I feel like there’s more to this story than that,” Ryan insists, now more interested in her than his phone.

“You’re welcome to feel however you want,” Jack assures. “I, however, am going to go have a warm bubble bath and hopefully get this stranger’s blood off of me.” This isn’t a discussion Jack is particularly interested in now or ever. They’ve all had some crushes on bad people before, it happens. Of course, neither of them push the issue. It’s not an issue and it’s not even relevant, anyways. That was a long time ago.

“I could go for a bath,” Ray nods like he's been invited.

“That sounds nice, actually,” Ryan confirms with a similar nod. Jack rolls her eyes playfully. Fortunately her bath is big enough to comfortably fit all of them, and more, and fortunately they are usually pretty good about not being totally destructive while she’s trying to relax. Besides, she’s pretty sure she can convince at least one of them, if not both, to lend a hand to give her a massage. That fight definitely left her sore and a warm, bubbly massage sounds even better than a bath. A little bit of both is just too nice to pass up.

“I suppose we could come to some kind of deal,” Jack agrees with a grin as she picks herself up off the couch.

“I call her ta-tas,” Ray announces, tossing his game off to the side.

“You don’t _call_ any part of a lady, Ray,” Ryan insists, following after them.

“I formally request to fondle Jack’s soapy udders,” Ray corrects, making a groping motion with both hands. Jack sighs loudly.

“Why udders? Why’d you have to go with udders?”

\- x -

It takes Geoff a moment to make sense of what’s happening but when he does, he makes no hesitation. Jack grabs his face and kisses him hard, her warm lips needy on his mustache. She slams the door closed behind her hard and grabs his face in her hands, nearly knocking him over with sheer power. Jack has never been a small woman but always too nice to really effectively use it; fighting for fun but always too many lines in the sand.

Geoff fumbles to find his footing against the back of the couch and Jack weaves her fingers into his hair, biting his lips and smothering him with her kiss. Her nails claw at him and he replies by holding her face so lovingly. When she’s had enough, and Geoff not nearly enough, she breaks away enough to look him in the face. Geoff’s dizzy and discombobulated, unable to form any sort of coherent sentence to make sense of whatever’s going on.

“I’m sorry,” one of her mouths say.

“Me too,” Geoff says quickly because he can’t find the words to articulate himself any better. Some of her hands pull at his shirt and the others at his hair and mustache. She kisses him again, harder, and he responds as best he can, alternating between kissing her hot mouths. Likewise, he pulls at her shirt urgently to get the buttons undone, the ugly hawaiian pattern dancing around restlessly under his hands; flowers fleeing from his fingertips. Jack’s touch is so hot, her fingers burning his skin and making his tattoos flinch away. The buttons on her shirt are too difficult for him to maneuver, snapping closed quicker than he can pull them open.

“Come on, Geoff,” Jack urges in a wanton tone, her voice rough but her voice silky. “It’s been days.” Geoff ignores the knock at the door in favor of ripping Jack’s blouse open with both hands. She gasps hotly against his mouth, nuzzling him firmly and pressing her lips to his cheek, to his ear. Her pert nipples and heart areolas bounce gently with every one of her breaths; enticing him. He touches them softly, each one filling his hands and making Jack groan against his skin.

“Who’d date a loser like you?” she whispers, one mouth echoing the other. “All you do is use people to meet your own ends.” Geoff winces as she pulls his mustache between her fingers and her fangs dig into his neck. She laughs into his skin. “ _Gross_. I’m not _that_ desperate.”

The bang of the door opening awakens Geoff in a violent gestures. He jerks upright immediately, disorienting himself and causing all his blood to rush in different directions. This isn’t exactly great for his hangover and the bright light that floods in from the wall of windows isn’t much better. Geoff groans loudly to express his clear discontent and covers his face with both hands to both block out some of the light aggravating his senses and to scrub away whatever remains of his sleep.

“Dude, Geoff,” Michael says loudly and Geoff only groans louder in response. “It’s been fucking four days, get the fuck up.” Geoff rocks himself forward to rest his elbows on his knees and hide his face from the midday sun. He rolls his head to squint at Michael, discontent to even be awake right now. His wet dream boner isn’t doing him any favors, either.

“Did you pick my door lock?” he grumbles.

“No,” Michael assures irritably. Geoff peers over his shoulder but he’s not sure if he should be upset or not. Michael certainly didn’t ‘pick’ the lock. The lock’s completely gone. Michael drops it on his coffee table in a heap, proof that he somehow manages to get it unscrewed from the outside.

“Unnecessary,” Geoff says.

“I’ve been knocking for like an hour,” Michael scowls at him. “This shit was bad enough when you were fucking moping around and now you’re locking yourself in your apartment? Jack rejected you, get the fuck over it you fucking pansy.”

“I’m not upset about that,” Geoff scoffs tiredly, holding his head with his hand. Michael throws a water bottle at him and Geoff’s reflexes don’t allow him to catch it in time. It hits him in the shoulder before promptly rolling off the couch and onto the floor where it stays.

“Oh sure, you’re upset about the _other_ thing that happened,” Michael says in clear disbelief. Geoff rubs his face with both hands before folding them over his knees and looking at Michael with a grimace.

“What do you want, Michael?” he asks shortly.

“Look, either fire Jack or fucking get over it,” Michael instructs. Geoff shakes his head tiredly.

“I’m not firing Jack,” he assures. Not only would she probably stab him, Geoff would have to do actual work. He’s pretty sure the crew would not function correctly without her if at all; she’s been taking care of all the boring shit for years. Besides, he doesn’t actually want her gone.

“Then get over it,” Michael repeats, picking up the water bottle and forcibly putting it in Geoff’s hand this time. He sighs loudly, twisting the cap off to take a drink but it doesn’t quite have the same effect on his hangover that booze does.

“I am over it,” Geoff promises again. “Peh, I don’t care what Jack thinks of me. I’m the boss, Michael. I _own_ this city. If I want someone dead- no problem. And what’s Jack? Some pudgy little get away driver I hired? Whatever, I’m over it.” Michael rubs his temples with his fingers and shakes his head.

“Like, you understand why she fucking said all that shit to you, right? You’re, like, just a straight up asshole most of the time,” he insists. “Jack doesn’t want to date you because you’re an unpleasant person, Geoff. It takes zero dollars for you to stop being literally the worst person alive.”

“Jack’s not a fucking angel, either,” Geoff argues irritably.

“Jack doesn’t intentionally try to hurt your feelings!” Michael barks.

“I beg to differ,” Geoff grumbles.

“Oh no, Jack called you out on your shit once. How will you ever live?” Michael says sarcastically. Geoff scoffs mutely, picking himself up off the couch and wandering over to his liquor cabinet. Michael steps in his way. “You need to take a fucking shower first. You smell like bad whiskey. We’re going out to the fight and you’re coming with us one way or another.”

“‘Us’?” Geoff repeats unsurely.

“Lindsay, me, and Ryan,” Michael assures. Geoff shakes his head.

“I don’t think so,” he murmurs.

“I do think so,” Michael says as he shoves Geoff in the direction of the bathroom. “You’re going even if I have to get them to come in here and drag you there.”

“I don’t want to watch a fight, Michael,” Geoff says firmly, trying to plant his heels into the floor. Michael is so strong for being so tiny.

“I didn’t fucking say watch,” he replies. It doesn’t sound like he’s getting much of a say in the matter. He supposes a fight would do him some good. It’s not like he’s doing anything else right now.

“I don’t fight sober,” Geoff murmurs.

“Just fucking wash your filthy ass.”

\- x -

Alright, Geoff can admit that maybe this was a half decent idea. He does feel a little better now that he’s hit something a hundred times. Though he hadn’t initially been all about Ryan coming along either, Ryan proves to continue to be completely chill with everything. Of course, Geoff still finds him weird but Ryan could care less. Geoff isn’t sure what he was expecting, that Jack would turn his crew on him? Jack’s not like that.

“I’m telling you, just apologise,” Ryan urges as he rubs his blood off his face with the back of his hand. “Jack’s not even mad at you. I doubt she’d even care if you didn’t apologise but if you’re still trying to fuck her, apologise.”

“I’m not trying to fuck her,” Geoff insists shortly. Ryan shrugs animatedly before returning to beating a corpse to a pulp with his bat. It’s long since been dead but Ryan still goes at it; like a kid with a magnifying glass, he likes to hear the bones break. Geoff can’t fault him for that entirely, it’s sort of a nice sound if it wasn’t accompanied by the gross slosh of blood and guts or literally anything else about it.

“You’re trying to fuck her,” Michael assures coming to sit beside him. He hands Geoff his beer for a drink and Geoff refuses with a mild hand shake. The beer here makes him sick and not in a good way. Michael knows it, too. In a rare turn of events, Geoff supposes he really has had enough for the last few days. He doesn’t actually want to drink himself into an early grave, as great as that boozy grave would be.

“You can admit it,” Lindsay says. “Jack’s a hot lady. I wanna fuck her.”

“Lindsay,” Michael scolds shortly.

“What?” Lindsay replies with a shrug, not even bothering to stop counting her ‘winnings’. It can’t be much, none of these guys could have had much on them if they were in a place like this. If they’re trying to make him feel better, they’re not doing a good job. Not that Geoff feels bad!

“If you really want to change her mind about dating you, you could, I don’t know, not be a massive dick?” Ryan suggests and he makes an animated shrug with his bloody bat. “I don’t think she could have given you a clearer list of things not to do.”

“Yeah, step one, stop making fun of her weight,” Lindsay instructs, shooting Geoff a vaguely annoyed stare. “Seriously. Can confirm, ladies don’t like that.”

“It’s not like I have problem with her weight,” Geoff scoffs. “Jack shouldn’t take it so seriously. I make fun of Ray and Gavin, too. What’s it matter?”

“Yeeeeah,” Ryan says slowly. “By the way, stop making fun of Ray’s weight. I know it’s funny or whatever when he does it, but you don’t.”

“Jack knows she’s fat, okay?” Michael promises. “She doesn’t like it when you run your mouth about it, so chill.”

“You make fun of her weight, too!” Geoff insists irritably.

“Joking about ‘queso’ and telling her she has to take the elevator by herself because of the weight limit is way different,” Ryan says with just as much annoyance. “Also, it’s not just the jokes you know. I can guarantee she’ll be way happier when you stop commenting on what she eats.”

“It’s not like she bugs you constantly about how much you drink,” Michael points out. Geoff rolls his eyes excessively. No one understands sarcasm anymore.

“Fine, whatever,” he says in defeat. Sure, he’ll think about it. “I won’t. What else should I change about my entire personality?”

“The rest of your personality,” Lindsay assures. Geoff makes a sarcastically amused face at her and she grins playfully.

“Don’t call her manly,” Ryan instructs. “Just don’t.”

“And unless you want to do all the work she does, and you don’t, then stop with the worthless jokes,” Michael says. “Like, Jack already feels like she doesn’t do enough. You’re not helping.”

“So I just can’t make jokes anymore is what you’re saying?” Geoff confirms.

“If those are the only jokes you got, yeah,” he promises.

“I know you’re old as hell-” Ryan comments.

“I’m barely any older than you!” Geoff barks.

“But people don’t flirt via insults anymore. She knows you need her and you know you need her, just admit it,” he says. Why does he need to admit it if they both already know? It’s not like he’s ever going to get rid of Jack or something, she should know that, too.

“Step two, don’t be an asshole,” Lindsay continues. “Stop with the ‘bring home any girl that kisses you’.”

“I barely even have time to do that anymore!” Geoff insists. It has been a while since he’s brought anyone home, not counting Jeremy who somehow ends up in his apartment on occasion. Well that and he’s sort of realised it’s futile to bother bringing anyone home because it’s generally unsatisfying. Drunk him will pick up on that eventually, he’s sure.

“And turn your phone off when you get too drunk, okay? Stop sending her those weird fucking texts,” Ryan says, giving him a dirty look. “They’re illegible and dull anyways.”

“Alright, that I understand,” Geoff admits begrudgingly. He will say he has a _bit_ of a drunk texting problem.

“And just show her you’re responsible for something,” Michael says like it should be obvious. “You run a massive gang, I think you can take care of like a fish or something for a few months. Okay, wait, don’t get a fish.”

“Please god don’t get a fish,” Lindsay agrees. “The last fish you got was super poisonous.”

“That wasn’t my fault,” Geoff quickly says. “That was a gift from Gus.” It also wasn’t his fault it accidentally killed someone in one of his clubs. He didn’t even know fish could kill people.

“Just like, I don’t know, take an interest in your employees or something?” Lindsay suggests instead. “That’ll get her wet.”

“It won’t, but it’s probably not a bad idea,” Ryan confirms.

“See, we just solved most of your problems,” Michael says proudly. “No more bad jokes, don’t be an asshole, make her wet.”

“Not that last one,” Ryan repeats again.

“It’s just a turn of phrase, Ryan,” Lindsay assures. Ryan shakes his head.

“Well thank you all for the life changing advice,” Geoff announces sarcastically. “It’s too bad I’m over Jack and it’ll all be useless.” Sure, he’s not fooling anyone but if he says it enough, it’ll become true, right? That’s how things work; ignore them until something good happens. None of this is advice Geoff plans on taking significantly to heart anyways. Jack’s already dating Ryan and Ray anyways, he’s pretty sure there’s not even room in that cluster fuck for him. Three is a pretty maximum amount of people for a relationship.

“Then you shouldn’t care that me, Michael, and Gavin have a date with her, Ryan, and Ray,” Lindsay says off handed like it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Geoff nearly explodes.

“You what?” he snaps, harsher than he intended to.

“Lindsay,” Michael sighs.

“He said he’s over her,” Lindsay assures with a shrug.

“He did say that,” Ryan agrees. “Why should he care?” To this, apparently, Michael can’t really defend.

“Why are all my employees dating behind my back‽” Geoff yelps angrily.

“A, it’s not behind your back,” Michael murmurs. “And b, I mean Geoff, come on, Jack’s smokin’.”

“We should probably scram,” Ryan mentions off handedly. “It’s gotten way too quiet around here.”

“Oh sure! We can just leave it on that note!” Geoff snaps. “Let’s not talk about why the six of you are dating or anything! That’s fine!”

\- x -

“We’re in agreement, right?” Jack confirms suggestively as they make their way towards the pier. “No sex until everyone is comfortable.”

“Why do you look at me when you say that?” Ryan asks as if he takes great offense to the suggestion. Even Ray gives him a pointed look.

“Because you’re going two for two at ‘putting out on the first date’,” Ray assures. Ryan makes a vague shrug of not disagreement but hardly anything else, either. They just want to take things slow, that’s all. Six is a bit of an overwhelming number, especially when it comes to dating, and Jack doesn’t want anything going catastrophically wrong. Which, she admits, is bound to happen anyways but putting that off for a while will do them all some good.

“Hey, it takes two to tango,” Ryan reminds them. They’re certainly not arguing that, but Ryan needs to keep his tango in his pants today.

“Then we _are_ in agreement,” Jack reconfirms. Ryan makes a begrudging agreement though she is certain that this is more for show than anything else. She’s well aware that he had a thing with Lindsay in the past but she’s also aware that he knows how badly this can end up just as well as she does. There's nothing wrong with taking things a step at a time. Of course, Ryan also knows that both she and Ray are a little concerned about ‘other’ things as well. Neither of them want to say it, perhaps because neither of them would like to even think it, but truth be told Gavin has made some negative comments in the past that would suggest an awkward explanation later. Who from, it's hard to say.

This is supposed to be a fun date, that's all. The pier is hosting a little carnival event and nothing's better than a little good food and pickpocketing. Los Santos’ hot weather is becoming a bit of a trend so being out of the stuffy apartment is a nice change, as well. The sea proves to keep the beach and surrounding areas nice and cool making for a decent afternoon.

Michael, Lindsay, and Gavin wait at their meet up spot near the end of the pier. The idea is that if they start back here, then they won't have to run as far when they inevitably have to make a break for it. That's probably not going to matter much knowing how irregular they move about. Lindsay waves them down pleasantly when she spots them, grinning across her face with a certain excitement she always has.

“Hey,” she chirps gladly. “You guys made it.”

“I think that's our line,” Ray insists. “Weren't you guys sweeping down South?” That is a fair point. Jack and Ray spent most of the morning napping. Who knows what Ryan was up to. Michael gives a nonchalant shrug, suggesting it's not nearly that interesting or important.

“Just a clean up,” he assures. “Not like we took out a job before coming here.”

“Oh sure,” Jack replies with amused disbelief. With Geoff still moping around, it's not like there's a lot to do as of lately anyways. They keep to their usual work, of course, making sure things don't get out of hand in his down time, but it's all rather mundane. Lindsay hands them some masks, cheap looking and brightly coloured; not too different from their usual heisting gear. It looks like she picked them up from one of the booths around here. It'll help them blend in for the time being or at least give them enough time to enjoy themselves before they get bored and decide they've had enough; whichever comes first.

“No one should notice us in these,” Gavin says confidently as he pulls one of them on and do adjusts it on his face. Jack pulls hers on and pulls the strings under her hair, making sure she can see properly before turning to her boyfriends. Ryan is more than pleased, of course, well in his element and Ray is hardly bothered by it. The masks are cute, Jack will say that, whimsical and colourful for the summer months. This should be fun.

“Well I’m starving,” Ray complains suggestively. “What’s there to eat around here?”

“I saw a food stand coming in,” Michael comments. “Turkey legs.”

“I’m in,” Ray replies without any hesitation. The two of them are wandering off immediately, with or without the rest of them to stuff their faces elsewhere. Jack thinks she can wait a bit for food. There’s some other things she’d like to do before cramming junk into her face. Unlike Ray, she doesn’t quite have the ability to shove whatever she wants into her gullet and feel fine. Though on the other hand, neither does Michael.

“Well I’m ready to scam some suckas out of their cheap fair prizes,” Lindsay announces gladly.

“That does sound pretty nice,” Jack agrees with a warm hum. Lindsay grabs Ryan’s hand in her own to lead the way. Jack offers up her hand to Gavin who, after a moment of nervousness, quickly takes it. The mask hides his face but not the soft pinkness to his ears. Though Jack had always been aware she made Gavin a little nervous, she had never really assumed it was because he was attracted to her. That does make a lot more sense, honestly.

“Dude, I saw a booth with an Xbox in it earlier,” Gavin says. “We should hit that one first.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ryan gladly agrees. “We’ll follow your lead.”

Gavin’s ‘lead’ is never the best or ‘easiest’ idea but it works to the barest minimum of words. He and Jack spend about ten minutes trying to charm the guy into making things easier for them before quickly discovering that the rigged game isn’t so easy to outsmart. It ends with Lindsay sneaking into the back of the booth and pretending to work it while Ryan stuffs the guy into his own trunk. Unfortunately, the ‘grand prize’ is an empty box but they help themselves to the rest of the prizes as they see fit before hanging the ‘Lunch Break’ sign and hurrying off.

The rest of the day follows much of the same pattern; choosing a booth, coming up with an on the fly, half baked plan, then defaulting to violence almost immediately. Though their are a few games that they discover the secret to, it just turns out to be more fun to hop the counter and ravish the prize wall than it is to outsmart a ‘toss ring’ game. More importantly, though, it’s fun stuffing their pockets with little bills to later spend on better things.

Ray and Michael regroup with them after a bit, both full and content. Unfortunately, the people of the fair catch on to their little act sooner rather than later. Fairly, it’s not hard when every booth they go to very quickly goes ‘out for lunch’ afterward. This is Los Santos though and behind them, plenty of other people take whatever they can get their hands on when no one’s looking. Who can really say if they’re to blame or not? Perhaps, though, masks only hide so much. What other gang has six people fitting their very description?

The rest of them grab some food, Michael looking vaguely nauseous at the idea, before hopping onto the ferris wheel for a last stop before the police arrive to end their date. The little boats only hold four so they pair off for a ride to the top. Lindsay and Ray hop in the first, Ryan and a nervous Gavin in the second, and Michael joins Jack in the last. It’s been a fun afternoon and though they’ll be fleeing the cops soon, Jack is pleased with their date. The sun is almost near setting and already everything is cooling off in the dusk. She is full of fair sweets, pockets stuffed with cash, and adorned with cheap carnival prizes. How better could it have gone?

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like some?” Jack offers a bit of her cotton candy to Michael who, once more, refuses with a sickly look on his face.

“God no,” he assures. “Ray made me eat like four funnel cakes.”

“I’m sure he didn’t _make_ you,” Jack says with an amused smile. Somewhere above them, there’s a muffled laugh from Lindsay and Ray.

“Well I wasn’t going to let him eat more funnel cakes than me,” Michael insists. Jack shakes her head faintly. Knowing Ray, it wasn’t even a competition to him. That kid is a bottomless pit, honestly and unlike Michael, who willingly eats more than he knows he should, Ray just naturally never stops stuffing his face. That’s a game Michael will never really win with him.

“I’ll admit, I was a little worried about this in the beginning,” Jack murmurs.

“Why?” Michael snorts. “We work together on a daily basis. When Geoff’s not sulking we practically live in his apartment.” He does have a point. With Ryan and Ray now staying in Jack’s apartment, and Lindsay and Gavin having lived in Michael’s for a while, they now all live in the same two floors anyways. “There’s almost no difference in dating.”

“Yeah,” Jack agrees then adds on a mild, “ _well_.”

“Okay, except kissing,” Michael comments to her unsaid statement. “But hey, I’ve kissed Ray on the mouth before. It’s just what friends do.”

“Oh sure,” Jack hums teasingly. “I kiss Ray as a ‘friend’ all the time.”

“What I was getting at, Jack,” Michael scoffs. “Is that it's not a far stretch.”

“Fair enough,” Jack agrees with a small nod. The wheel stops and they're left with a dimming scene of the sunset stretched out across the calm sea. It really is nice up here. Jack pops another bit of cotton candy in her mouth and enjoys the quiet view, both booths above them having fallen equally silent. Sometimes it's just nice to take things in especially when their lifestyle can be so chaotic.

When Michael moves, the entire cart moving with him, it startles Jack a little. Alright, maybe being this high up is a little scary. He pauses to look at her before holding out a placid hand, “relax. I'm not gonna tip us over or something.” Not on purpose at least. He moves a bit more carefully to sit beside her and comfortably rests his arm across her shoulders. Jack laughs a little. He's much smaller than her.

Michael blushes a bit and Jack stifles her well meant giggles. He leans up to her and Jack gladly leans down to meet him. Oddly enough, or perhaps not that oddly, he's a very sweet kisser. He's all gentle and easy, maybe knowing his own strength or maybe just that way by nature. Jack can hardly complain either way. She kisses him affectionately, a pleasant end to a pleasant date.

Unfortunately it's not exactly the end. Jack only catches a slight glimpse of one of the other buckets moving before she spots Ryan _climbing out of it_. Oh god. She yanks away from Michael, catching the lad off guard, and hurriedly sticks her head out the side.

“Ryan!” she yells sharply. “Don’t you fucking fall!” He doesn’t. He jumps. Jack sighs loudly, hearing him splashdown in the water below. They really need to stop him from jumping out of stuff. She looks down, searching for him in the water to make sure he's alright, and Michael peers out beside her. Ryan pokes his head up with his doofy, paint smudged grin.

“Fastest way down!” he calls. “The water's nice!”

“You’re ridiculous!” Jack shouts at him. Another figure falls past in a blur and splashes into the water alongside him. Gavin yips. After a moment, she pops to the surface as well.

“Lindsay!” Michael snaps at her. “What the fuck‽”

“It looked fun!” Lindsay promises. “Come on!” Absolutely not. Jack is not jumping off a ferris wheel. The police sirens that suddenly sound nearby quickly change her mind. It's probably not that bad. Ray hops down after them and Ryan is there to make sure he doesn’t immediately sink like a stone. It would help if he could swim but Jack guesses it's too late for that.

“Fuck dude,” Michael grumbles to himself as he jimmies the door open and takes a good look down. “You leave them alone for two seconds.” Without much hesitation, he jumps down and effortlessly makes it into the cool water. Jack glances up to see where Gavin has gone and he nervously looks back down at her.

“Might as well,” she calls to him.

“Ladies first,” he insists. Jack rolls her eyes. Not giving herself much time to think about it, she hops out of the cart and dives towards the water. It's like base jumping only safer. The cold water is a bit of a shock but it's refreshing if nothing else. As soon as she swims her way to the surface, Gavin flops down with them. That's all of them, then.

“I'm never doing that again,” Jack announces.

“What? It wasn't that bad,” Ryan insists. Ray, perched safely on his shoulders, shakes his head in disagreement. Lindsay laughs as Gavin resurfaces in a gasp of air.

“Let's get out of here,” Lindsay says.

“We stored a boat nearby,” Michael assures. “Gotta be ready for a getaway.”

“God please,” Ray groans. “I already got seawater where seawater shouldn’t be.” Ryan chuckles. The lot of them make a quick swim in the direction of the little getaway boat before the cops have any idea where they went. Base jump into the ocean aside, Jack thinks it was a nice date. Next time she'll make sure they have a better getaway plan than ‘jump off ferris wheel’.

\- x -

This is fantastic.

Jack can’t believe the building air conditioner broke and then two days later it’s a hundred and six degrees. This could be the worst timing they’ve had for anything. While it’s not exactly a difficult fix, Michael assures it required a part that has to be ordered and of course no one offers overnight shipping on something like that to someplace like Los Santos. Jack isn’t far off from just stealing it out of another air conditioner if it means fixing the problem. That would mean going outside, however, where it is significantly hotter somehow.

Michael is doing his best to jury rig it into working for the time being but by the shouting, it doesn’t seem like it’s going particularly well. They’re trying to make due with what few fans they have laying around and cool wash cloths. Mostly, though, they’ve just accepted that they’re going to be miserable as long as the sun is up. Jack is stretched out to one side of the couch in nothing more than a pair of Ryan’s boxers, idly patting her face and neck with a wet cloth. Ryan takes up the other side, both of them going out of their way not to touch in the severe heat, not in a much different state than her. He fans himself tiredly but at this point, it really does minimum good.

Ray is, by far, taking it the worse though. Laid out on the floor in his sweater, Jack is concerned that he’s going to end up with heat stroke fairly soon. He distracts himself with one of his games but even that is becoming a difficult effort to maintain. While she doesn’t want to _make_ him take his sweater off, she will if the other solution is _he dies_. Jack gives Ryan a gentle swat on the knee and he looks at her blandly. She nods her head at Ray and he frowns a bit.

They’re getting by as they can. With a small huff, Ryan picks himself up and manages into the kitchen without melting on the way. Jack hears him rustle around a bit before returning with a bowl of ice water. As he crouches down beside Ray, Ray looks at him curiously. Ryan pulls the fan close by and sets it up in front of the bowl, creating a cool little current to hopefully keep their little boyfriend properly chilled.

“Ah man,” Ray murmurs pleasantly. “Thanks, dude. I’m sweating my tits off.” The complaint is one they’ve all made today but there isn’t much they can do about it but bear it. Ray moves closer to the fan and gladly shifts enough to get the breeze from it underneath his hoodie. He lets out a relieves little sigh and though it can’t be that much better, hopefully it’ll keep his temperature down. Ryan flops himself back down on the couch and Jack gives him an appreciative little pat. It’s way too hot to do any more touching than that.

Honestly, it’s too hot to even watch television. Jack doesn’t think either of them have been paying attention to it for several minutes now, a bad rerun of a worse show flickering by without much notice. She’s just too miserable to care. If it stays this hot all week, there’s no way anyone’s getting anything done around here. Fortunately, relief comes sooner rather than later. Michael nearly kicks their door off its hinges, not so much as bothering to knock, and they all peer over in annoyance. Fairly, the heat isn’t putting any of them in a great mood.

“Michael-” Jack begins tiredly.

“I got the AC in Geoff’s apartment working!” Michael announces.

“To Geoff’s apartment!” Ray replies instantly. There’s certainly no arguments there. Without any hesitation, the lot of them quickly hightail it out of their hundred degree apartment and up to the floor above to gang up in Geoff’s place. They could care less if he’s still sulking, right now it is more important that they don’t fucking die of heatstroke. Sure enough, upon getting close to Geoff’s apartment, there’s already a cool breeze in the hall.

Michael hurriedly gestures them in and snaps the door shut behind them, sealing in the cool, crisp air. Jack sighs in relief. She misses air conditioning so much. Of course, Gavin and Lindsay have already made themselves well at home, lounged together in one of the recliners, and Geoff is fussing around in the kitchen loudly. Ray gladly tosses himself on the couch and Ryan joins him, gladly taking in the coolness after an entire day of sweltering in the heat of their own apartment. Jack settles herself alongside them and groans contently, already feelings exceptionally better. And she thought Texas got hot.

“Oh yeah,” Ray moans as he stretches himself across both her and Ryan’s lap. “This is what I’m talking about.”

“I knew Michael could do it,” Gavin assures. “It’s way too hot for him to have not to.”

“Yeah, thanks for the help,” Michael scoffs sarcastically. “I was on the roof for like an hour in the sun.”

“You could use some sun,” Lindsay promises sweetly. Michael joins them on the recliner, very pointedly flopping himself on top of them and making Gavin squawk in needless panic. Geoff shuffles back into the living room with a crate of booze.

“Alright, I have-” he stops cold at the sight of Jack. There’s a moment where he visually struggles to look her in the face before failing completely and his eyes drop to her breasts all at once. Jack would take less offense to if everyone, save Ray, wasn’t also shirtless in the room. It’s not like Geoff hasn’t seen her breasts before. “Uh, so are you gonna put a shirt on at some point?”

“Mm, I dunno,” Jack assures. “I was sort of waiting for you to shut your face but since I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Geoff gives her a quiet look but for once, he offers little in the way of rebuttal. Instead, he looks at Ryan then Michael before dropping the topic all together. The fact that he’s acting so torn up about what happened only proves Jack’s point in the end. She rolls her eyes.

“I have this honey wheat shit,” Geoff murmurs as he examines the label of one of the bottles. “I think Jeremy brought it over?” He pops the cap off one of the bottles to give it a taste and offers a following shrug that suggests it’s okay tasting. Michael pulls the carton across the table towards himself to try one as well. It hardly matters what it taste like, as long as there’s beer and AC. Sure enough, without waiting for a second opinion, Lindsay and Gavin reach for it as well. Once they’ve helped themselves, Jack drags the carton over to take one of the last ones.

“Redbull?” Ryan offers as he nudges Ray out of his lap.

“God no,” Ray groans. “I will definitely have a heart attack. Just water, thnx babe.” Ryan makes a small hum of agreement before heading into the kitchen to grab them drinks. Geoff slouches on the other curve of the couch with his beer, rather obviously doing his best to ignore the crowd in his apartment. Jack leans back with a happy sigh, glad to be in the cool air again, and Ray lays his head in her lap. He fondles her titties just because they're there.

“Alright, what about Jack and Geoff, then?” Gavin asks. Jack glances at him curiously.

“Geoff's probably more skilled,” Lindsay says.

“Yeah, but Jack’s definitely stronger. You know, if she'd actually hit him,” Michael counters. Another theoretical game it sounds like.

“I don’t think that would be a problem,” Lindsay assures with a laugh. “And besides, Ryan would fuckin’ wreck him if something happened to Jack.” Ryan makes an agreeable nod as he returns from the kitchen with the usual diet coke and a water for Ray. He settles himself beside Jack, pulling the rest of Ray into his lap, and dropping his arm over her shoulders.

“I could take Ryan in a fight,” Geoff scoffs.

“Yeah, maybe a fair fight,” Michael points out.

“Ryan and Geoff, then,” Gavin insists. “Haven't seen Ryan fight much.”

“Dude, Jack’s already proved she'll cold cock Geoff to defend Ryan,” Lindsay says. “Then he'd really get his shit pushed in.”

“Hey, I'm here,” Ray reminds them pointedly.

“You don’t fight,” Geoff insists with a huff. To this, Ray can only make a vague shrug of agreement.

“Ya but still, I'd defend my babes probably,” he promises.

“We already decided Ray would win a fight with anyone,” Gavin says simply. That doesn’t seem like a likely conclusion.

“I've seen ‘im fight,” Michael agrees. “He's a fucking scrapper.”

“I believe it,” Ryan nods. Again, Ray just shrugs. He's too lazy for a close range fight so Jack supposes it doesn’t matter much. Besides, between her and Ryan, it's unlikely anyone's going to put a hand on him. It's a good strategy Ray has, hiding behind bigger people.

“Geoff would probably win in a fair fight with Ryan,” Jack offers. “He's not much of a brawler.”

“I'm a lover, not a fighter,” Ryan hums sweetly.

“And an arsonist, and a killer, and a bit of a weirdo,” Ray says. “Actually, it's a long list.”

“Ryan versus Jack,” Gavin goes on, never quite coming to a full answer for the previous ones. “I mean, they’re both big.”

“Oh Jack, hands down,” Lindsay assures with a laugh. “Ryan would just take it.”

“Well I don’t know about that,” Ryan says.

“Dude, you already ask Jack to hit you,” Ray reminds him.

“Yeah,” Ryan sighs pleasantly. Jack shakes her head but she can't help the smile on her features. There's a short knock at the door before it's thrown open all at once, hardly patient enough to await a reply, and Jeremy and Matt trot in with a cooler.

“We heard you have AC,” Jeremy announces.

“Stop showing up at my house!” Geoff snaps back at them.

“But I brought popsicles,” Jeremy murmurs, raising the cooler up to make his point.

“Boozey popsicles,” Matt assures.

“I vote they stay!” Michael says gladly. “Bring me one of those.” Geoff’s the only one that argues so they stay. Of course, Geoff doesn’t mind nearly that much especially when he has ice cream to shove in his face. Jeremy is more than happy to pass around a cool treat for everyone, the sweet, drunk popsicles making a nice addition to such a hot day. He’s really a sweetie, assuring Ryan and Ray get the virgin substitutions instead.

“Caleb and Kdin kicked us out for getting their patients drunk,” Matt comments from the floor.

“It was full of sick people anyways,” Jeremy says with a tone that likely isn’t upset as he tries to make it. He just doesn't have it in him to hold a grudge.

“Yeah, welcome to titty city,” Ray jokes.

“The only titties you better be looking at are Geoff’s,” Michael grumbles under his breath. Geoff suggestively tweaks one of his nipples and while Matt quickly finds something better to look at, Jeremy doesn’t. Sweet and weird.

It's a few moments of silence while they enjoy themselves. Of course though, boredom comes sooner than later. Ray realises, almost arbitrarily, that his popsicle is phallic shaped and immediately treats it as such, sliding as much of it as he can into his mouth. Ryan blinks at him curiously. As if to out do him, Ryan makes an attempt to deepthroating his pop and discovers very quickly why this is a bad idea.

“Ah!” he sputters, shaking his head as he coughs. “Ah. Cold.” Genius. Absolute genius. Obviously not having learned a lesson from Ryan, Michael gives it his own go and learns the same thing. Michael, however, isn’t quite as quick to give in.

“It's not that bad,” he insists, a rasp to his voice from his chilled vocals. Ray, believing him for some reason, tries it as well. He doesn’t get very far before he's yanking it out again.

“Fuck! Yeah it is!” he assures and then immediately tries it again with similar results.

“Stop before you hurt yourself,” Jack sighs. Lindsay touches her popsicle to one of Gavin’s nipples and he yelps in surprise. She laughs but he suddenly rebuttals, making her mimic his girlish sound. Things digress quickly in the apartment to popsicles where they really shouldn't be. At least they keep cool even if Jack goes home sticky.

\- x -

Geoff’s just glad it’s cooled off enough to the point where he doesn’t constantly have five to nine half naked people in his apartment. Not that Geoff minds the fact that they’re half naked it’s just that when most of them are banging each other, a guy starts feeling like a third, or tenth, wheel. Besides, Michael got the AC working days ago. That definitely doesn’t stop anyone from bothering him.

Once again, Geoff finds himself forcing himself up from where he was comfortably wallowing on the couch to answer the aggressive knocking at his front door. Perhaps making Michael put the lock back on wasn’t exactly a well thought out plan in the end. As much as he would like to not be bothered, it bothers him significantly more to have to get up to open the door. Can’t a guy sleep and be drunk in peace? Before he gets to the door, it opens and Jack lets herself in. She looks at him, half to the door, before showing him her key that she’s always had.

“I thought you’d died in here or something,” Jack comments with a somewhat amused grin.

“Jack,” Geoff sighs, exhausted. “What do you want?” She stops smiling; stops patronizing him.

“I need your B-16 form,” she says and heads for his office without waiting for his approval. He doesn’t know what the hell a B-16 even is. Still, Geoff follows her down the hall and Jack gives him an unamused look but doesn’t say anything. Leaned on the doorframe, he watches as she shuffles through his desk in search of what she needs. He should really just apologize already. It’s not like this is going to get any better, after all.

Jack stops what she’s doing, irritably setting the papers she has down on the desk and giving him an aggitated look. She looks at him expectedly and when he doesn’t say anything, grips the bridge of her nose in her fingers.

“Do you want something Geoff?” she asks. “Do you think I’m stealing your shit or what?”

“What? No,” Geoff scoffs. Jack gestures to him pointedly, an unsaid question as to why he’s here, then. “No, look, I just- Did you get the air conditioner fixed?” Great job Geoff, that was definitely not an apology.

“The air conditioner Michael fixed last Thursday?” Jack replies sarcastically. “I’ll see what I can do about it, Geoff.”

“That’s not-” Geoff sighs, putting his head in his hand. “You know what, nevermind. Do whatever you’re doing.” Today is obviously not the day to do this. He hurriedly leaves her to her business to resume his drinking in the living room. Jack knows how to show herself out. It’s not like she even cares, she clearly has better things to do with her time. Michael is truly underestimating how long he can feel sorry for himself.

Geoff pours himself another drink, downing it quickly to sooth the discomfort in his belly. It doesn’t help much. Jack makes her way towards the door and Geoff watches her for a moment. She stops to look at him, perhaps expecting something from him, before continuing on her way without a word. Alright, enough of this.

“Jack,” Geoff calls to her and Jack pauses. She turns to him with a less than pleased expression.

“Yes Geoff,” she replies blandly. “What can I do for you now, sir.”

\- x -

Geoff didn’t actually think that would work. It’s an awkward stumble back down the stairs with Jack grasping at him so tightly. She kisses harder than he thought she would and her mouth is sweet; not like candy but like fruit. It offsets the Jack Daniel’s on his tongue. Between the two of them, they manage to maneuver around the couch without tripping over it and Geoff pulls her into his lap with an easy yank. For a moment, she just looks down at him, catching her breath in quiet little pants. Her red lips look so soft. She reaches for her phone and Geoff leans up to kiss her again.

Jack leans down to meet him, a more distracted kiss as she tries to text at the same time. Geoff certainly isn’t bothered. When she’s done, she gives him her full attention again, taking his face in both hands and pulling him up to kiss him so fully. He can feel her pressed so flush against him and her warm body gets his heart thumping away in his ears wildly. When she pulls away, he’s already dazed. This is already significantly more intense than he could ever imagine it being. Of course, a large part of that is surely from working himself up.

When Jack pulls her shirt open, he’s immediately assured that’s not the case. Sure, he’s _seen_ them before but wow. Geoff just ends up staring initially. It’s only when Jack physically grabbed his hand to usher him along does he realise _oh man_ he can touch them, too? He cups both of her heavy breasts in his hands and Jack leans into him with a soft groan. It very quickly becomes hard for him not to panic. If he messes this up, Jack will never let him touch her again. He kneads them gently in his hand, her skin so soft and squishy despite the little bits of scars that rest here and there.

Jack places her hand over his and her little groans assure him he’s doing something right. She leans down and he meets her for another kiss, a tender touching of tongues that does everything right for Geoff. The little specks of hickies around her neck decorate her skin in different shapes, a show of all the attention she gets elsewhere. He kisses the top of her neck and Jack tilts her head away to give him more room, allowing him to kiss his way down to her cleavage. She grasps the back of his head in her hand, finger woven into his hair, and urges him on further.

The sweet moan Jack lets out when he takes one of her nipples in his mouth is its own reward. She pulls his hair faintly when he sucks on it, her nails scraping his skull, and he kneads her breast between his fingers. A soft buzz takes her attention again and she checks her phone. Checking in with her boyfriends, Geoff would assume. By the way she reaches down to stroke his dick, he’d say they were cool with it. Jack, suddenly, is not. She stops, leaning back a bit to give Geoff a displeased looked. What did he do?

“Is this not cutting it for you, Geoff?” she asks pointedly.

“What? No, I- what?” he replies. That is the exact opposite of what’s going on here. Jack nods at his lap. “Oh. No I- That’s just whiskey dick,” he insists quickly, trying to urge his soft dick erect. Now so isn’t the time for this. “Come on, you know how it is. It’s just- I’ve been drinkin’ all day. It has nothing to do with you, Jack. You’re like, the hottest woman on the planet right now.”

“Thanks,” Jack says sarcastically. So he might have phrased that not quite right. “I can’t believe you chose now of all times to get fucking whiskey dick.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘chose’,” Geoff assures. In fact, he’d like it just as much as she would if this wasn’t the case right now. He really needs to drink not as much. “Look, just-” he sighs. He can still play his cards right here. “Give me a few minutes, okay? We can- move to the bedroom, yeah? I can still get you off.” Smooth. Nailed it.

“Dude, if you’re that drunk we probably shouldn’t be,” she trails off unsurely.

“I’m not _that_ drunk,” Geoff promises hastily. He’s not any drunker than he normally is at least. Jack gives him a look like she doesn’t entirely agree with that but she nods a bit and shifts to get out of his lap. There is a whole other level of drunk he could be and he’s not. He’s fine. A little whiskey dick never hurt anyone.

“Alright,” she murmurs. “I guess you’re right.” Yeah he’s right. He can please a lady no problem. Hopefully. Now absolutely isn’t the time for whiskey tongue, either. He’s already batting zero and one, he definitely doesn’t need to give her any more of a reason to never do this again. Jack shimmies her shirt off and drapes it over the arm of the couch before heading down the hall. Geoff hurries to his feet, tugging his shirt off over his head to follow after her.

Fortunately, Geoff’s bedroom is empty. At least, there’s no Jeremies in it. He should probably clean up at some point but for the time being, it’s the last thing on his mind. Jack sets herself on the edge of the bed and leans back so her chest is arched out. _Way_ better than he could imagine. He leans over her, urging them both down onto the mattress and meeting her lips for another kiss. She slips her fingers into his back pockets and he traces the curve of her belly down to the edge of her jeans.

\- x -

Geoff is barely awake before he’s sitting upright, his brain alerting him immediately that he’s done something wrong. It takes him a few more seconds for the rest of him to catch up and his brain to actually acknowledge what he’s done. Alright, he doesn’t know what he’s done. He barely knows where he is. Jack’s soft little snore remind him. That’s right, he had sex with Jack last night. She lays undisturbed in his bed, the blanket draped across her hips and one arm tucked under her pillow. In the quiet morning she looks very peaceful.

Oh god Geoff doesn’t remember having sex with Jack. His brain kicks him in the back of the head suddenly, a large chunk of the night fogged over with booze and regret. Mostly regret. Jack’s going to be so fucking pissed at him if she finds out. Hell, Geoff is fucking pissed at himself for forgetting. His first chance with Jack and he doesn’t even fucking remember it! This is a fucking nightmare. He doesn’t even know how he convinced her to have sex with him the first time, there’s no way he’s going to manage it again. Fantastic, he just pissed away his one shot. Fucking figures.

Jack stirs faintly, rolling herself over as she gradually awakens. Maybe it’s not too late. He’s sober now, he’ll definitely remember this, maybe he can seduce her again. It worked the first time, right? She blinks her eyes open and peers up at him faintly before rolling herself over again. For a moment she stays there but eventually she sits up and ruffles the back of her hair tiredly, fluffing it out. She’s really cute like this. Geoff leans over to kiss her and she looks at him strangely.

“What?” he scoffs.

“What are you doing?” she asks shortly.

“I just thought, you know, we could go for another round?” Geoff suggests with a small shrug, trying to be careful with his wording. “Never had morning after sex before?”

“Yeah?” Jack replies with a sarcastically inflection. “You gonna stay awake this time Mr. ‘I’m not that drunk’?” Oooh. That explains a lot. Yeah, Geoff can see where ‘not remembering’ and ‘passed the fuck out’ sort of align really well. He couldn’t have asked for a worse sequence of events if he tried.

“Did I?” he murmurs but he already believes that he did. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time though it would be the first time he did so during something so importantly. Usually he just willingly passes out and calls it a night, not blacks out in the middle of trying to get laid by the gorgeous woman he’s had a crush on since forever.

“Yeah, you did, Geoff,” Jack promises. “You ‘apologized’,” she makes air quotations. “By which I mean you practically broke down crying, repeating ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I just love you so much’ with some bits of ‘I’m an idiot, I know’. Then you tried to squeeze my breasts like stress balls, then you got whiskey dick, then we moved to the bedroom and you passed out in my tits.” Welp, time to kill himself. Literally just time to kill himself.

“Jesus Christ,” he sighs, lowering his head into his hands. Out of all the times he’s humiliated himself in front of Jack, it had to be last night. It had to be the one time she was down to fuck. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, dude.”

“Uh, one and half bottles of bourbon?” Jack suggests. He nods a little, rolling his face in his hands before pushing his hair back and nodding some more.

“Yeah. Uh, yeah. That’s probably it,” he murmurs. That’s definitely it. From now on, the max for him is one bottle. Maybe a bottle and a fourth. Man he has a problem. “At least I don’t have whiskey dick now.”

“I can see that,” Jack agrees. She pauses for a moment, looking at the obvious morning wood in his pants before looking back at him. “Geoff, if we do this and you piss and-or vomit on me, I can guarantee you will never see any of your cars ever again.”

“That’s fair,” Geoff answers without hesitation. He’s not that kind of drunk, anyways. Besides, he’s sober now and probably fine. She leans over to kiss him and he gladly reciprocates. He’ll be honest, this does feel much better sober. He doesn’t feel like a kid trying to cram a square through a circle slot anymore. Jack’s skin is still soft and plush, the little lines of scars barely noticeable against her warm flesh, and he caresses her breasts softly. He definitely didn’t mean to be rough with her last night and with that in mind, he tries his best to be gentler with her.

Of course, the one thing booze brings that sobriety doesn’t is confidence. Geoff is suddenly a lot less sure of his ability to please her. Jack is definitely a woman who knows what she wants and while she is typically easy to please, she is very good at not subjecting herself to anything she doesn’t like more than once. Out of their entire crew, she is probably the only one that actually learns from mistakes the first time. She’s never give him the time of day again if he doesn’t do this right.

By the way she moans so sweetly when he touches her, Geoff hopes he’s doing right. He kisses the inside of her cleavage softly, being sure to not use any more pressure than necessary, and rolls her pert little nipples between his fingers. Jack cards her fingers through his hair and the soft, pleased hum in her chest rumbles against him. When he kisses down her belly, she bites her lip and her nails scratch his skull. He unbuttons the front of her jeans, his face pressed against the curve of his belly as he works, helping her shimmy them down and off. They’re tossed aside with ease and left to fall where they may.

Geoff presses his lips to the front of her panties and Jack makes a muffled noise behind her hand. Oh, she has a penis. That’s good. He has one of those. There is literally no reason for him to mess this up. He knows how he likes his dick sucked, he just has to do that. When he strokes her hard on with his fingers, Jack makes a startled gasp that quickly melds into a moan. He glances up at her.

“That good?” Geoff questions. He’ll admit, it’s been awhile since he handled a dick that wasn’t his own. Jack bites the back of one of her fingers but gives a shaky little nod.

“Y-yeah,” she assures. “Good.” He is the best. With a bit of his confidence restored, Geoff presses his lip to the head and Jack muffles out a moan. Urged on by her gorgeous sounds, he lavishes her cock with his tongue and pays particularly special attention to all the spots that make her fingers curl in his hair. He adjusts himself so he can palm his own cock while he works at hers, wrapping his lips around the head and bobbing his head shallowly. While he’s definitely no Ray, that’s sort of an unfair competition for Geoff. It’s not like Jack is making a complaint about it, though. Quite the opposite.

“Oh, Geoff,” Jack moans into her hand. “ _Oh_.” At any rate, he is not the worst. He hurriedly unzips his pants to stroke his own dick in time with hers. She grabs for him, urging him away from her lap and back up to her level. Geoff glides his tongue over his lips, palming her dick fondly as she wraps her arms around his neck. As she kisses him again, he presses their cocks together to wrap his hand around both of them. Jack groans into his mouth, rubbing her hips into his to aid them along.

“Fuck, Jack,” Geoff groans back, matching her every move eagerly. She digs her nails into his back and her teeth graze his lips, so wound up in pleasure she does little more than claw. He tries to steady himself on one knee to get a better movement, thrusting his dick against hers and revling in the sweet friction.

Jack arches off the bed when she comes, moaning so hotly in her orgasm. Geoff rasps out a groan of his own, her lovely noises and wonderful ‘o’ face helping along his orgasm. He comes hard, a sensation he feels throughout his entire body like none before. With somewhat less feverishness, she leans in to kiss him again. There’s a certain comfort in her that Geoff regrets not being able to find anywhere else. She makes a soft, content sigh as he rolls off her and lays back at her side. That just happened. That just happened and he was sober and he’s going to remember it and it was great. Unbelievable.

After a few moments of breath catching, Jack sits up again, glancing around a bit before just using his bedsheet to wipe herself off. It’s filthy anyways, honestly. He should really do laundry at some point. For the time being though, he just watches as she tugs her pants back on and fixes her hair a touch before finally looking back at him. She seems to consider something, Geoff isn’t sure what, before rather prepensely looking away away. She’s so pretty, the morning sun highlighting her soft features and making her glow.

“How was that, then?” Jack asks. Geoff blinks. His brain was in no way prepped for such a question especially so soon after sex. Don’t tell her it was everything and more. Don’t tell her it was better than the dreams.

“Better than I thought it would be,” he assures nonchalantly. Jack gives him a dirty look over her shoulder. Excellent. A plus. Next, insert entire fist into mouth. Just the entire thing, champ, just do it. She shakes her head, picking herself up and beginning to dig through some of his drawers. Geoff debates punching himself in the mouth while she’s not looking. She finds one of his clean shirts and tugs it on at least to make it back to her own apartment in the cool morning. Geoff sits up a bit.

“So, uh,” he murmurs. “How about that dinner date, then? I mean, probably should have started with that but whatever.”

“I- don’t think so, Geoff,” Jack says slowly, patting the back of her head faintly with one hand while she fiddles with her phone in the others. “Pity sex is one thing but-”

“‘Pity sex’?” Geoff repeats with disbelief. “There’s no way that was pity sex.” The look she gives him assures him this was absolutely not the right string of words to bark out.

“You’re right,” she replies sarcastically. “For that to be the case, I would have to have felt bad for you at some point.” He really wishes his mouth would stop saying things. It just makes things worse. “Look, Geoff, I threw an old dog a bone, okay? Just because you made some shitty, drunk apology doesn’t mean all that shit goes away. You don’t take me serious and you expect me to believe you’d take a relationship with me serious?”

“Jack,” Geoff murmurs persuasively. “Come on babe, I take you seriously.”

“Geoff,” Jack sighs. “I’m gonna go home. You should, I dunno, clean yourself up or something.” Oh sure when she says that now it seems pathetic that his bedroom is full of empty booze bottles and dirty laundry. “We can talk about this later if you still want to. Just take care of yourself, okay? You’re starting to seriously worry me.”

She leaves and Geoff is left in his pitiful, quiet room. He can’t believe that a, that was the best sex of his life and b, it was fucking pity sex. Jack gave _him_ pity sex. Geoff rubs his face in his hands. God he’s a mess. 


	5. two Lovers and an Eight ball

The rustling from his living room wakes Geoff up way earlier than he would like to be awake. He stirs unhappily, glancing around his room that is definitely not in the same condition he had gone to sleep in. Has- has someone been cleaning his room? A check of the clock assures him he's already slept most of the day away. It's actually kind of nice if he's honest. He'll probably just shove some food and booze into his face and go back to sleep anyways. In the meantime, who the hell is in his apartment? Tiredly, he ruffles his hair as he pushes himself out of his bed and shuffles into the living room. Sure enough, Jeremy, Matt, and Trevor are cleaning his apartment.

“What the fuck,” Geoff comments flatly and the three of them turn to him curiously.

“Oh, hey Geoff,” Jeremy greets, holding a bag of junk he's collected from around the apartment. “Sorry, did we wake you?”

“Why are you in my house again!” Geoff snaps at him. “This isn't a thing! Stop making this a thing! Go home!”

“Jack sent us over, though,” Jeremy murmurs. “She told us to help you clean up some.”

“I don’t need help!” Geoff assures irritably. He can clean his own damn apartment when he's good and ready for it to be clean. “Leave! All of you! Out!” Instead of doing that, they all look at one another quietly for a moment. “I said out!”

“Yeeah,” Trevor says slowly. “Here's the thing. We're more worried about what Jack is going to do if we don't. She was pretty upset.”

“Are you saying you're more afraid of Jack than me?” Geoff demands. Again, they all look at one another before nodding unanimously. “I have a gun,” he promises flatly, a semi-empty threat that he will get it.

“Jack handles our paychecks, though,” Matt points out.

“Also, I'm pretty sure Jack came and took all of your guns,” Jeremy mentions. Geoff bristles.

“She what?” he barks. Who does she think she is? Those are _his_ guns!

“She just doesn’t want you hurting yourself or something, Geoff,” Trevor assures like he’s overreacting.

“Hurting myse- no, you know what, where is she?” Geoff bites back irritatedly. Jack obviously needs some straightening out. What, does she think he’s a fucking kid all of a sudden?

“I would assume in her apartment,” Matt says. Geoff points at them all aggressively.

“You all better be gone by the time I get back with my guns,” he insists. They don’t seem too concerned about this. Fairly, yeah Geoff isn’t going to hurt them but seriously, they’re more afraid of _Jack_. She’s by far the _least_ intimidating around here! He storms out of his apartment in a huff, making a direct path down to Jack’s apartment that she’s recently taken to sharing with her boyfriends. Before he gets the chance to knock, Ryan suddenly bolts out the front door and snaps it closed behind him. When he spots Geoff, he stops and looks at him curiously for a moment.

“Uh,” Geoff murmurs. “What are you-”

“Hey Geoff!” Ryan says cheerily. There’s a rather large splotch of blood on the front of his shirt that's still obviously fresh and dripping blood down the front of his pants. Geoff gestures to it mildly.

“Are you alright there, buddy?” he asks with a bare minimum of concern. As if Ryan bleeding is new.

“Fine,” Ryan assures with a friendly little grin. That’s weird. Something’s going on here and Geoff thinks it’s better if he minded his own business. That’s usually the correct answer when it comes to weird things and Ryan.

“Right,” he replies. “Jack home? I need to talk to her.” Speaking of the devil, Jack suddenly darts out the front door and Ryan urgently hops away from her.

“ _Ryan_ ,” she snaps irritably, holding a scalpel at him threateningly. Alright, maybe saying she’s the least intimidating isn’t really saying all that much. That’s like saying arsenic will poison you less than cyanide. Upon seeing Geoff, Jack quickly hides the scalpel behind her back like he hasn’t already seen it. Still, she gives Ryan a death glare worthy of a wince or two and he backs up another step.

“Geoff says he needs to talk to you,” Ryan tells her as if that will distract her from whatever he’s done to upset her. It has to be a lot if she’s legitimately coming at him with a knife. Did she really stab him?

“Geoff can wait,” Jack promises firmly.

“Can he?” Geoff replies sharply. She’s making a lot of assumptions right now, isn’t she? Someone’s obviously put their big boy pants on today. Jack takes another step towards Ryan and again, Ryan hurriedly hops away from her.

“Come here, Ryan,” she instructs. “You get back in this apartment right now.” Ryan shakes his head, taking another steps back. “ _Ryan_.” Ryan takes off. He’s running down the hall without warning and is down the stairs in a heartbeat.

“Ryan!” What the hell did Ryan do? Jack chases after him without hesitation, scalpel brandished threateningly. “I’m going to get that out of you one way or another! You get back here!” A loud banging noise follows that certainly doesn’t signify anything good. Ray pops out of the apartment next, already ready to give chase. However, he also pauses when he sees Geoff stood right outside the door. He looks at him curiously.

“Hey Geoff,” he greets as if his girlfriend didn’t just chase his boyfriend with a bladed weapon down the hall. “What are you doing, dude?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Geoff says blandly. More violent banging comes from the stairway and Ray glances in that direction a bit before obviously deciding to pretend that’s not happening.

“No!” Ryan yelps. “No no! Nu uh!”

“Ryan!” Jack yells. “Don’t you dare!”

“Nothing,” Ray assures. Yeah, Geoff believes that completely. “What’s up? You need something?”

“I need to talk to Jack,” he says flatly.

“Uh huh,” Ray answers. “I’ll let her know. Sorta in the middle of something right now.”

“I thought you said nothing was happening,” Geoff reminds him.

Ray doesn’t say anything immediately, allowing the sounds of Ryan and Jack scuffling in the stairway to fill the silence, before looking Geoff dead in the eye and replying, “it’s a sex thing.”

Alright, that Geoff believes. Ryan is apparently some sort of super freak in bed. Not that different from how he is out of bed, honestly, and no one is really surprised. Geoff really isn’t all that interested in knowing about their sex life now or ever and instead decides to not ask anymore questions.

“Jack took my guns,” he states instead.

“Did she?” Ray murmurs curiously as if he's not sure why she'd do that either. “Sorry dude, I don’t know anything about that. I just do what Jack asks, you know? I’m dumb as hell.”

“Ray!” Jack shouts from down the hall.

“I gotta go,” Ray says quickly. “I’ll be sure to let Jack know you’re worried about that thing,” he assures before quickly following after the havoc happening on the stairs. “I got the pills!”

“Ryan no!” Jack yelps. “Ryan!” Well that was definitely a thing that happened. Geoff isn’t quite sure how to make heads or tails of it. As believable as it is, he’s going to guess it’s not actually a sex thing. Lindsay slips out of his own apartment and Geoff turns to her.

“Oh, hey Geoff,” she chirps with a grin. “What are you doing out here?”

“You know what that’s about?” Geoff asks, gesturing to the noises coming from down the hall. Lindsay peers in that direction curiously for a moment.

“Uh, no,” she murmurs before poking her head back into her apartment. “Michael! Ryan’s having some kind of fit again! Go help Jack, please!” A few seconds later, Michael comes stalking out of the apartment as well, huffing sourly as he rolls his sleeves up to join the scuffle. Is it a sex thing? Geoff honestly can’t tell.

“Do not jump off of that!” Jack yells. “Ryan I am serious! Do not!”

“Does he do this a lot?” Geoff asks.

“Who? Ryan?” Lindsay replies. “Not really. We all have bad days. You know how it is.” Geoff’s bad days usually don’t involve getting tackled by three people and stabbed. Usually.

“This whole crew is going to hell lately,” Geoff grumbles.

“Geoff,” Lindsay says. “I don’t know where you’ve been, but we’ve literally always been like this.” Well, sure, but before Geoff didn’t have to deal with it which surely counts for something. She heads off after them, obviously having been prepped to go somewhere else but not in a hurry to get there. Geoff waits a moment to see if anyone else is going to come out of the woodwork before following. He takes the elevator down as opposed to trying to walk all the way down and by the time he gets to the ground level, the fight has moved into the street outside. Calling it a fight might be giving it a little too much credit. Michael has managed to pin Ryan against the asphalt on his belly and Jack’s shouting at him, her hands well bloody but scalpel free. Ray holds both the scalpel, and blood soaked blade that was probably what was causing Ryan to bleed so excessively.

“Open your mouth!” Jack demands. Ryan firmly seals his lips closed, wriggling as he tries to get himself free and simultaneously avoid Jack trying to physically ply his teeth apart. “You’re going to take your meds right now, Ryan! Open your mouth!” Lindsay and Ray just stand aside to watch so Geoff joins them.

“So,” Geoff comments. “One of you want to tell me what’s going on now or what?”

“You know how people say you shouldn’t mix certain medications,” Ray murmurs. “Well you also shouldn’t take mushrooms with psychosis.”

“Ryan took mushrooms?” Geoff confirms flatly.

“Just a few,” Ray assures.

“Why did Ryan take mushrooms?” Geoff asks.

“You know Geoff,” Ray replies. “Sometimes you just gotta learn to roll with the punches with Ryan.”

“Ryan, if someone calls the police I’m going to be so angry!” Jack yells. “Open your mouth!”

“Look, the important part is we stopped him from doing coke,” Ray insists. “It’s a process.”

“Uh huh,” Geoff comments as Jack tries everything she can to get the pills into Ryan’s mouth. It’s definitely a process of some kind. “Well I’m glad. That coke really fucked him up.”

“I’m doing this because I love you, Ryan! Open your goddamn mouth!”

“Oh yeah,” Ray murmurs. “Seriously.”

“Ray,” Lindsay says blandly. “Did Ryan take mushrooms alone?”

“Nah,” he replies. Jack holds Ryan’s nose and tries to get himself to swallow a pair of pills but he fights her the entire way. Sometimes Geoff forgets how big of a dude he actually is.

“Is Jack on mushrooms right now?” Geoff asks curiously. That doesn't seem like her repertoire, really. Finally having gotten them to stay in his mouth, Michael gets off Ryan’s back and the two of them try to get him to his feet. Ryan stubbornly refuses to cooperate with them.

“Nah. One of us had to be sober,” Ray assures.

“Ryan I swear if you bite me!” Jack shouts as she grabs his shoulders and Ryan lashes out to try to chomp on her fingers. Michael hurriedly grabs his feet to carry him back inside and off of the street where cops could definitely get called. At least Ryan seems to have calmed down a little bit or rather, has instead decided to pout. It feels more like a shark waiting to snap than anything else though.

“Are you?” Lindsay asks in a flat tone that suggests she knows the answer already.

“I'm whacked out of my fucking mind right now,” Ray admits like it's not a big deal. Lindsay takes the scalpel and blade from his hand and puts them into Geoff's. Oh obviously he wants this. He's always _overjoyed_ to have Ryan’s blood on him sure. With some heft, she crouched down enough to hoist Ray across her shoulders and carry him.

“Alright buddy. Time to go back inside,” she murmurs.

“ _You're so strong_ ,” Ray whispers. “Fucking incredible.”

Geoff just stands on the sidewalk for a moment, one hand full of bloody knives, and thinks about his life. Honestly, it can't be that bad. It's so strange to think that the rest of his crew have paced themselves out so well with one another so quickly. Then again, Geoff did bring them together in the first place because he thought they'd work well together. He didn’t think they'd work _that_ well together. He has to be like a love guru or something. Too bad it doesn’t work for himself.

A lady walking her dog looks at him strangely and Geoff gives her a cold stare back.

“The fuck you lookin’ at?”

\- x -

They can cross mushrooms off the list. They can cross mushrooms off the list so hard. Jack doesn’t think they needed a trial for that but she’s just so glad they gave it one anyway. Ryan didn't need to take mushrooms for her to know it was a bad idea.

“Dude, just smoke weed like a normal person and call it a day,” Ray gruffs out, holding an ice pack against his head. “God, you nearly gave me a concussion.” Ryan looks at him apologetically.

“Sorry,” he murmurs. Ray just offers him a nonchalant shrug and a semi smile that assures him it's fine, he's just complaining. “Marijuana doesn’t have the same kick.”

“It's the ‘kick’ that keeps getting you in trouble,” Jack points out blandly. Ryan makes somewhat of a frown though Jack would call it more of a pout before he rustled his hair back in his hands. He sits back in the recliner and settles his hands on his head tiredly. It had been a long night for all of them. “So, no coke, no acid, no mushrooms, no weed, no x, no booze.”

“Have you tried xanax?” Ray scoffs. “Maybe you could actually chill for once in your life.”

“No,” Ryan shakes his head. “It interacts with my meds.”

“Sweetie,” Jack sighs. “Everything interacts with your meds.” That's kind of what happens when you start mixing hard drugs. Besides, even if it doesn't necessarily interact with his medication, it'll just interact with him. Ryan doesn’t have much of an argument for this. Honestly, if it's just going to keep putting him in danger, Jack would prefer he just go back to cocaine. At least with that he knew how much he could take and how to handle himself if he took too much. Even Ryan admits that he doesn't really need it anymore and that it's more of a liability than an aid now. Before he started it as a way of self medicating then he got actual medication and then he just couldn't stop. That's usually how these things go. If it's not one hit and quit, things start spiraling out of control.

Right now, though, the withdrawal is worse than the side effects. Ryan just can't manage well enough to kick the habit cold turkey which is fine, Jack wouldn't expect anyone to be able to do that, but that just means they have to work harder. Regardless of how hard it is, she and Ray are determined to help him through this. If things start getting any worse for Ryan’s health, though, they might have a long detoxing process ahead of them.

“Well,” Jack sighs as she comes to sit in Ryan's lap and kiss his face gently. “Whatever happens, we're here for you and we're proud of you for trying to deal with this.” Ryan smiles a bit, affectionately leaning up to meet her for a kiss. Ray pushes himself up and pads over to squeeze himself into the single recliner with them as well.

“Yeah man, even if you tried to headbutt me unconscious,” he agrees. “Seriously, why does your head not hurt? What the fuck, dude?”

“Thick skull?” Ryan offers with an amused chuckle. He leans in to give Ray a soft kiss on the side of the head as well and Ray side eyes him.

“You have a thick something,” Jack murmurs halfly; jokingly.

“Dick? Is it dick?” Ray asks. Ryan laughs. They settle into the recliner comfortably despite the fact that there's no way they really fit in it and just come to enjoy a bit of rest. Jack could probably take a nap like this and honestly, she's surprised Ray isn’t already asleep.

“Oh yeah, Geoff wanted to talk to you about something or something?” Ray murmurs. Jack distantly remembers him not being very helpful during that episode. Obviously she hadn't exactly had the time to stand around and hold his hand through whatever he wanted this time. “I think anyways. I was so out of it, I don’t even know if he was actually there.”

“Mm,” Jack replies, tousling Ryan’s hair and he lollies his head into her. “I'll deal with him later. Geoff's a big boy.” She's trying to be there for him but right now, he just comes second to Ryan. If he really thinks she's just going to drop her boyfriend to coddle him instead than he really doesn't have any concept of other people's problems.

“He gonna be okay?” Ray asks curiously.

“Geoff?” Jack replies. “Who knows. Probably. He's a stubborn old bastard.”

\- x -

“Aw, come on, why's Kraid still in there?” Jack sighs in exasperation at the radio. “Who the fuck is he bribing?” Had she known they weren't going to boot him, she would have put less money on the other team. Disgruntledly, she turns the radio off to leave them in silence. She'd rather just know the outcome later instead of listening to another minute of this shit show. Michael doesn’t seem to care one way or another. He's not much of a sports guy after all and he's too focused right now on watching the building.

Just another few hours and they can go hopefully. They already have a good amount of intel but more never hurts. Once Lindsay gets the pictures they have run through the system, they'll have a nice little list of all kinds of people to blackmail. It's easy at least and all they really have to do is not get caught. So far they've pulled this off by viciously making out whenever anyone looked like they were starting to get suspicious. They're in a good spot, though.

“So,” Jack says nonchalantly. Michael glances at her halfly but he doesn't say anything, just goes back to his camera work. “Uh, I guess I've been chosen to be the speaker for my side of this- harem? Gang bang? Whatever we're calling it.”

“Relationship?” Michael offers sarcastically.

“That sounds way too domestic for us but yeah, I guess,” Jack murmurs. Honestly, she's long since given up on domestic. Idly, she cracks the window so she can light a cigarette and tucks her lighter between her breasts. “Anyways, we're uh, ready to- sex. We're ready for sex whenever you guys are.”

“Shit yeah,” Michael replies gladly. “We've been waiting to see if you guys were going to make the first move.”

“Well, we thought it would be a good idea to give it some time,” Jack assures. They just wanted to make sure everything settled well is all. Six people is a lot to orchestrate. “And I just have some things to discuss first. Just, you know, before we get too far into this.”

“‘Things’?” Michael repeats, looking at her again. “What kind of things?”

“Well, like the fact that I'm transgender,” she murmurs, trying not to act like she thinks Michael will overreact. “Is that- gonna be a problem?”

“Look,” he says blandly. “We're working with Gavin, okay? He just runs his mouth all the time. Fucking idiot can't take two seconds to think about what the hell he's saying. Sorry.” Oh. That's not what she was expecting at all.

“It's okay,” Jack assures him with a small smile. She's used to the awful shit that comes out of Gavin's mouth sometimes. Or a lot of the time. He _usually_ doesn’t mean anything by it, she thinks.

“It's not,” Michael scoffs irritably. Well no, it's not, but Jack didn’t think he'd say it or even think it for that matter. “But whatever, we're working on it. It's not a ‘problem’ for us, no.”

“That's good to hear,” Jack says pleasantly. It's actually really nice most of her crew really couldn't be dammed to care one way or another. Considering she'd always sorta assumed they'd not take it very well or at the very least, stop thinking of her as a woman, anything is better really. That's just what she's gotten used to over the years with her old friends and family. She supposes that doesn’t matter anymore, though, she has a new family.

“That it? That's what you wanted to discuss?” Michael asks.

“Oh, well, Ray wanted me to make sure you knew he is trans, too,” she says, rolling her cigarette between her fingers.

“No shit,” Michael snorts. “Of course I know.”

“You do?” Jack murmurs inquisitively.

“Dude, he fuckin’ told me like years ago. How could I not?” he assures like it shouldn't even have to be asked.

“Well, he wasn't sure if you took him seriously,” Jack insists.

“Of course I took him serious,” Michael scoffs, mildly offended. “The hell did he want me to do? Fuckin’ get down and eat him out? It didn't change anything.” Obviously Ray would have liked some acknowledgement or something but they had to have both been younger back then. Ray was probably nervous and Michael not very smart. Basically exactly like now. That's something for them to sort out on their own.

“I guess aside from that, not much else? Ryan’s sort of a masochist but that's pretty obvious. He kind of freaks out when he thinks he can’t move, though, so there's that. And Ray doesn’t like people on top of him, he gets claustrophobic very quickly. But- yeah, I guess that's it,” Jack promises. She thinks this conversation went pretty well all things considering. Obviously they'll have some more things to discuss if this relationship goes any further but for now, that's all she has.

“Okay. My turn. Gavin's ace,” Michael says.

“Oh,” Jack replies. Huh. “Alright. That is really good to know.” It is probably a really good idea that they waited then. That could have been a very uncomfortable altercation for Gavin.

“Yeah,” Michael murmurs. “He's cool with watching and whatever, kissing sometimes, but he doesn’t like being touch below the belt at all or touching people below the belt. Sexually, at least. It's a whole thing. Don't worry, you'll get the idea.”

“Of course,” Jack agrees. “I'll be sure to let the others know.” More specifically, Ryan. He can be very handsy and doesn't always realise when people are uncomfortable. Ray typically keeps to himself enough that he probably wouldn't initiate anything Gavin didn't anyways. They'll all want to be careful not to cross any lines and it might be hard with trying to juggle and remember everything for so many people but it can be done.

“That's it,” Michael assures. “I mean, Lindsay’s a little rough but whatever. None of us are fucking freaks like Ryan. We don't have a safe word or something.”

“Uh, I know that's probably meant to be a joke but it's ‘flamingo’,” Jack murmurs. Michael looks at her incredulously. “Ryan didn't take it very seriously. Though to be fair, I have never heard him say flamingo before. Aside from the twenty minute conversation we had afterwards trying to explain to him what a flamingo is.”

“Ryan doesn’t know what a flamingo is?” comes the bland, but surprisingly amused, reply.

“Well, he just didn't know they were real,” she admits.

“I feel like I should be surprised but I'm not. Like, at all,” Michael says with a small shake of the head. Ryan is a never ending enigma for certain. “I'll talk to Lindsay and Gavin and get back to you.”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds good,” Jack smiles. She's glad they could have this discussion and she feels it'll definitely be a help later instead of trying to stumble through an awkward first encounter. They can certainly have a better conversation with everyone present but for now, this is a good basis to where their relationship is going. She stubs her cigarette out in the ash tray.

\- x -

Jack isn’t sneaking into Geoff's apartment by any means, but she is trying to be quiet about it as to not potentially wake him up. He's been in a bad enough mood lately that she just doesn't want to deal with him being grouchier than normal. She doesn’t expect to find Jeremy in the kitchen. No, actually, because that would probably be more expected than finding Jeremy in Geoff’s kitchen in nothing but his boxers and one of Geoff’s shirts cooking breakfast and drinking Geoff’s good beer. What.

“Jeremy?” Jack questions curiously. Jeremy jumps, nearly dumping the skillet he's working with all over the stove, and makes a startled ‘ _hop ahp_ ’ sound. He spins sharply to face her and matches a deer in the headlights very well. It's obvious immediately he's too startled to say anything. “Jeremy, are you and Geoff- dating?”

“I, uh- oh shit!” Having been distracted, Jeremy quickly turns his attention back to the eggs he's burning in order to try and save them. They're dating! Jack knows dating and Jeremy is absolutely dating Geoff. Jesus Christ, did he lose a bet? Jeremy urgently turns the stove off and takes a moment to rustle around to buy himself some more time. Then he turns back to Jack just as quick. “Maybe?” he says hurriedly. “Probably?”

“I mean, I'm not mad,” Jack promises quickly. “I just thought you were dating Matt, Jeremy?”

“Matt?” he replies. “ _No_. Well, sorta. Yes but not like that. It's, uh-”

“Jeremy,” Jack says flatly. “Relax. Have you seen my love life recently? You don't have to explain anything to me.” She makes a half gesture over her shoulder, assuring him both she doesn't care and it's not that interesting. At the moment she has two steady boyfriends, two dating boyfriends, and one dating girlfriend. Jeremy can live his life however he wants, that's none of her business.

“Yeah,” Jeremy murmurs. “Well-”

“You know what, nevermind. It's none of my business,” Jack promises, shaking a hand at him. “If you're dating Geoff or whatever then whatever.”

“It's okay,” Jeremy assures. “I know you and he had a thing.”

“No,” Jack replies at once. “We didn't. Sex once isn’t a ‘thing’. I thought he would be mature enough to handle it, he wasn't, and that was obviously a mistake on my part.”

“I meant more of how you two have been in love with each other since forever,” Jeremy says curiously.

“That is incorrect in so many ways,” Jack deadpans back. “Listen, just don't let Geoff bully you too much, okay? Just because he's ‘the boss’ doesn’t mean you have to take his shit all the time.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Jeremy agrees with a smile. “Did you, uh, want some breakfast or something?”

“What? No, no. Thanks, though. Once Ray gets up the rest of us are going to grab brunch,” she assures then pauses a moment. “Sorry. That sounds like you're not invited. You're not but- it's a date. We're having a date. Geoff's not invited either.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that,” Jeremy promises. This is awkward. Fortunately, Geoff gets up way before Ray does. He makes a half hearted, lazy stumble down the hall and stops when he sees Jack. She looks at him halfly. At least he's already in a _great_ mood.

“I have locks on my door for a reason,” he says blandly.

“I have keys for a reason,” Jack replies shortly. Geoff doesn’t answer. He shuffles past her and sits himself at the little table before yawning and resting his head in his hands. When he seems to realise she's isn’t going anywhere, he looks at her again.

“Did you want something? Why are you in my house?” he asks. Jack gives him a sour look. He just isn't going to give it a rest, is he? She swats some papers down in front of him and hands him a pen.

“Some of us still have work to do,” she assures him. “Sign.” She points to a spot and he scribbles his name without comment so she can turn it over. “Initial. Sign. Sign. Fake name. Sign. Print. Mother's name. Not your real mother's name, Geoff.” Geoff scoffs loudly and scribbles it out before scratching in something else. She rifles through the papers to make sure everything is in order before taking the pen from him and stacking them back into her folder. Jeremy sets a plate of food in front of him quietly. At least someone has time to coddle him.

“Is that all?” Geoff asks tiredly, looking up at her with a grimace. He's hungover again. Nothing new there. Jack fishes the pill bottle out of her pocket and sets it on the table with an audible noise. He squints at it then back at her questioningly. “What the fuck is that?”

“Antidepressants,” Jack says. “I think you should take them.”

“What? Why? If I want to get high I'd fucking do coke or something,” he grumbles. Of, Jack doesn’t doubt that. He apparently can do anything he wants expect what's actually good for him. That's not new, either.

“Not to get high, you fucking idiot,” she snaps at him. Geoff gives her an annoyed look. He knew that already.

“I don't _need_ antidepressants,” he says firmly.

“You're a fucking wreck, Geoff. You haven't been out of your apartment in days, I had to send the guys to come fucking clean for you, you reek of alcohol _again_ \- I don’t even think you've showered recently. And now fucking Jeremy is cooking for you?” She gestures to the lad sharply and Jeremy jolts back a little in surprise. “When was the last time you had actual food? Don't pretend like this is because if me, either. You're not that big of a baby.”

“I'm _fine_ ,” Geoff snaps at her stubbornly. “Don’t you have an actual problem boyfriend to manage or something?” Jack slams her hand on the table, her anger welling up rapidly, but she bites it back.

“You know what? Whatever Geoff. Take them or don't, it's up to you. I'm just trying to help. God knows I wish someone had offered to help me- not that you could have known,” she scoffs bitterly. Geoff just looks at her, unwilling to give even an inch. “Do whatever you want, Geoff. Try not to throw Jeremy to the curb too fast. He's too nice for that.” Jack pushes off the table and stares down at him but Geoff doesn’t say anything. What would he even have to say?

“Bye Jack,” Jeremy says as she goes. Jack slams the door behind her. She doesn't know why she bothers sometimes.

\- x -

“Is not wearing underwear to a sex date slutty?” Ray asks curiously.

“It's not a ‘sex date’,” Jack insists with a roll of the eyes. Ray lifts the edge of her skirt up and she hurriedly swats him away.

“Oh sure, you usually wear lingerie on non sex dates,” he points out. Jack pushes him away from her and fixes the drape of her skirt again with a huff.

“That doesn’t mean I can't be prepared,” she assures simply.

“She makes an excellent point,” Ryan agrees with a grin as he brushes his hair back. “Besides, I don’t think you'd get your underwear back if you took them off in the Jones’ house.” Stuff disappears over there all the time. Ryan’s already learned that lesson the hard way. Ray points at him agreeably.

“Right. No underwear it is,” he says.

“It's not a sex date,” Jack argues again. Officially, sure it's not but it absolutely is. Ryan understands though, she just wants to make sure they're not potentially pushing the others into something too soon. However, to be fair, the Jones have apparently already been waiting to jump their bones. Ryan doesn’t blame them.

“Dude, it is literally Netflix and chill,” Ray insists. “How much more sex date could you get?”

“It could be in a sex dungeon,” Ryan comments.

“How much more sex date could you get without making it weird?” Ray reiterates.

“Are sex dungeons consider weird?” he murmurs curiously.

“Well, it has the word ‘dungeon’ and ‘sex’ together, so yes,” Jack promises. Ryan shrugs.

“Hey, some people like their sex in dungeons, I dunno,” he insists.

“Yeah! Weird people!” Ray assures.

“Can we just finish getting ready, please?” Jack asks, shaking her head a bit as she finishes powdering her face. “I don’t want to keep them waiting too long.” They haven’t set a specific time really so Ryan isn’t that worried but he knows how impatient they can get; all of them really.

“They live right across the hall, we’re fine,” Ray says nonchalantly as he pulls on a clean looking pair of shorts and then his sweater on over his undershirt. Jack pushes her tits up, adjusting them in her bra, before deeming herself ready. Ryan’s been ready. He’s not dressing up to watch some crappy television show in their datemates apartment. He’s definitely not dressing up to leave his clothes on the floor anyways, either. Ryan tugs the front of Jack's shirt down a bit to expose the lacy bit of her bra and she gives him an unamused look but just rolls her eyes. He grins at her and gives her a peck on the lips before she wanders out of the room to find her bag.

Ray pads up to him and Ryan leans down a little to give him a kiss as well. As he does, Ray puts something in his pocket. He follows after Jack without comment. Ryan digs into his pocket curiously to find what he's been left. It's a condom. Of course it is. He shoves it back into his pocket to follow his datemates into the livingroom. Jack turns a few things off and grabs her keys, even though they never lock the door, before finally deeming them ready to head out. She stops before they exit, though, and gives Ryan a half look. He hasn't even done anything yet- they haven't even left yet. Jack pushes something into his hand less than discreetly and Ryan holds it up; another condom.

“Why are you giving me these?” he scoffs mildly.

“You're the one with the horse dong, man,” Ray assures.

“Better prepared than- anything else actually,” Jack insists. Ryan shoves it into his pocket with the other one and grunts noncommittally. He knows how to carry his own condoms, thanks. With that, they take the short walk across the hall to Michael’s apartment. Jack taps on the door politely and there's a second or two wait before Michael opens up.

“Hey, you guys are here,” he says and gives them a welcoming nod of the head. Jack suggestively brushes her nose with her finger and Michael hurriedly wipes the white residue from under his nose. “Come on in.” Admittedly, they've been doing a lot of hanging around each other's apartments, that being Jack and Michael’s, lately so it's not like they really need to be invited in. Still, always better safe than sorry with the Jones house. Ray immediately tosses himself on the couch and Jack sets her bag by the door before joining Lindsay in the kitchen. Michael shoves some stuff off the coffee table and into its drawer as Ryan comes to join them.

“You look like you've been busy,” Ryan comments jokingly.

“Hey, until Geoff sucks it up, we haven't been doing much of anything,” Michael assures. Ryan nods in agreement. They all do their own things, make their own money and bury their own bodies, but they really don't have the taste for big jobs unless hustled by Geoff. They'd just as soon rob a gas station and graffiti the crew emblem into a crime scene by themselves.

“What are we watchin’ anyways,” Ray asks, kicking his shoes off under the table.

“Some indie movie just hit netflix, supposed to be decent. Figured we'd watch that. It's like three and a half hours,” Michael shrugs. ‘Some indie movie’. Ryan laughs a little. No, none of them really have any interest in watching a movie. Gavin trots out of the bedroom, his hair ruffled and his face tired, and he plops himself down in Michael’s lap with a yawn. Michael, of course, immediately shoves him out of his lap and onto Ray whose knee jerk reaction is to shove him off and onto the floor. That definitely wakes him up. Gavin jolts upright with a frown.

“Aw bois,” he complains as he leans back against the couch.

“Fucking sit with Ryan or something,” Michael grumbles. Gavin glances at Ryan nervously and Ryan pats his lap.

“Uh, I'm gonna grab a beer,” he insists instead, popping back to his feet and shuffling off. Ryan’s not quite sure what he did but obviously it was something Gavin wasn't to fond of. This isn’t exactly unusual but usually the lad has more bite than that. Michael rolls his eyes, and sign that it's not nearly that big of a deal. While they wait for the others to join them, Ray and Michael chat idly about video games they're currently playing and Ryan mostly just listens, commenting lightly here and there.

Jack hands him a diet coke as she returns and Ray a water- he's already had three redbulls today and that's usually where he gets cut off. Lindsay sets a few snacks on the table before settling into the couch and cuddling into Ray who is content with leaning against her. This doesn’t leave much room on the loveseat but Michael gestures Jack to sit anyways. She looks at bit concerned, perhaps worried she'll squish him, but he's insistent and she sits in his lap. Michael is a bit small for this but he just wraps his arms around her snugly and settles in. When Gavin returns, it doesn't take him long to realise there's no room for him with them.

Ryan pats the empty spot next to him and Gavin looks at his datemates unhappily before seating himself next to Ryan. Honestly, it's not like Ryan's going to hurt him without warning or something. At least, not without some aggravation. Michael turns the lights down and starts the movie and they all pay attention for a little while. It's interesting Ryan guesses, a story of a guy betrayed by his boyfriend who then has to save said boyfriend from being hunted down and killed by by the very agency they went rogue from. There's plenty of violence and sex which is really all one can ask for but obviously there's some kind of twist coming; things aren't adding up.

Once he's relaxed a little, Gavin does lean into Ryan a bit. In an attempt to soothe him a little more, Ryan just tousles the back of his hair in his fingertips. If anything, he's probably just a nervous dater. He was sort of this way with Lindsay too just to a much lesser extent. Of course, he did know Lindsay longer before dating her than he's known Ryan.

They make it about thirty minutes into the movie before collectively becoming impatient and bored. Ray and Lindsay kick them off. Lindsay leans over to kiss his neck and Ray immediately drops his attention from the tv to instead kiss her on the mouth. Within moments they're tangled into a heated embrace. This, of course, gets Michael’s attention who stops to watch them gladly and Ryan does the same. When Jack notices, she blushes a touch then quickly pretends not to. She never really likes making the first move and won't if she doesn't have to. Fortunately, she doesn't have to. Michael kisses the back of her neck and she sighs sweetly.

It's a pretty steep slope from there, the cozy, dark living room offering a comfortable setting for getting too close. Lindsay and Ray are a bit more energetic about it, groping at one another like teenagers trying to figure out the best place to grab. Michael and Jack are a bit easier going, Michael just fondling Jack's heavy tits and pressing warm kisses against her neck shoulders. Gavin jitters unsurely, tapping his fingers against the sides of his beer. Ryan leans over to him.

“Do you want to kiss?” he asks. Gavin jolts.

“What? You mean with you?” he replies incredulously.

“A ‘no’ would have been fine,” Ryan promises flatly.

“No, it's just- you're kinda easy,” Gavin murmurs. Ryan stares at him coldly. “Wot! It's true, innit! Everyone says you put out on the first date.” Ryan turns back to continue watching the movie. “Aw, come on Ryan. I didn't mean it like that. If it's just kissing- that's fine.”

“It was only an offer,” he assures simply, glancing at Gavin mildly.

“Well yeah,” comes the faint response. “But that, like, leads to other stuff.”

“Whatever you don't want to do is fine,” Ryan promises. “All you have to do is say so.” Gavin doesn’t look all that convinced of this. Honestly, does he think Ryan is a wild animal or something? He might be bloodthirsty and violent and unreasonable and malicious and excessive and-

“Alright,” Gavin murmurs. “If it's just kissing.” Besides, Ryan has already been over everything with Lindsay. It would have been with Gavin but he's not great at getting his words out and she and Michael had to figure him out in a slow, awkward fumble. This way at least they're not going to be accidentally tripping over any of Gavin's lines. Ryan turns back to him with a mild scoff and Gavin shifts into him a little. With a finger, Ryan tilts his head up a bit to make up for their heights and gives him a faint little kiss on the mouth before looking at him questioningly. Gavin has to think about it a moment, obviously deciding if he really is up for this right now.

“You look better without that crap on your face,” Gavin comments. Ryan would be flattered but he's currently wearing at least four layers of makeup to cover up his scars.

“Well, I didn't want to scare you,” Ryan murmurs. “You fucking whimp.”

“Really?“ he asks curiously, almost seeming honored.

“No,” Ryan snorts. “Jack said if I painted my face on this date she was going to make me sleep on the couch.” Gavin squints at him.

“Just shut up and kiss me before you lose your charm, you bloody idiot,” he huffs back. That Ryan can do. He is sure to only kiss Gavin as much as Gavin kisses him, allowing the lad to take the lead and guide them only as far as he wants. As Ryan continues to keep his hands to himself, Gavin gets a little more comfortable. The others continue to fumble around on the other couch, partially undressed and already trying to figure out the best way to continue in such a small space without having to separate long enough to head into another room.

Gavin pulls away after a few minutes to recuperate and Ryan takes the moment to shrug off his coat and toss it over the back of the couch. It is getting a touch hot in here after all. He's given a curious look.

“What happened?” Gavin questions, gesturing to his own throat to make his point. Ryan rubs the dark purple marks with his fingers. It's not unusual for him to be injured at all but obviously Gavin finds this a peculiar mark.

“Ray choked me,” he answers nonchalantly.

“What did you do?” Gavin snorts.

“Asked him to choke me,” Ryan replies. Gavin is only puzzled for a moment or two.

“Doesn't that hurt?” he asks.

“Well, it's not _supposed_ to if you do it right but _I_ like it that way,” he assures.

“Can I try, then?” Gavin requests. This, honestly, surprises Ryan a little. That really wasn't what he thought the response would be. Though Ray is happy to do it, Jack doesn’t like to. She doesn’t like hurting him at all really despite knowing that Ryan likes it. He thinks she's mostly just worried she'll hurt him too much which really isn’t going to happen. That's fine, though, it's not like he doesn’t get hurt enough on a regular basis anyways. Letting Gavin put his hands around his neck doesn’t sound like a genius idea admittedly.

“Sure,” Ryan agrees with a grin. “I'll show you how.” Gavin quickly puts his beer down on the table only for it to nearly get knocked over when Ray bumps into the same table a little too hard. He gets to his feet and Ryan adjusts on the couch to put them in a better position so Gavin can perch on his knees comfortably. Ryan cracks his neck to loosen up before gesturing Gavin to bring his hands up. He places them carefully, but eagerly, on Ryan's neck.

“Feel this?” he asks, gently pushing a few of Gavin's fingers into his throat.

“Whoa,” is the amused reply. “Is that your pulse? Is it supposed to be like that?”

“Mmhm. Usually you press down here and it cuts off the blood flow to the brain,” Ryan explains. “That's how you knock a person out. Some people find the sensation before that very pleasurable. Most people when they try this, just push down all the way which, obviously, causes the victim to pass out in a few seconds. I find the best way is just a little bit of pressure at a few second intervals.” Gavin listens quietly, all the while mesmerized by the rhythm of his heartbeat. Ryan moves his fingers to another spot.

“Right here is the larynx. It's very fragile and you don't want to put very much, if any, pressure on it. It will break and it's not very fun but generally not deadly. Immediately, anyways,” he says and Gavin feels the spot out with his fingertips. Ryan moves his hands again.

“And that's the windpipe. Again, usually to be avoided. It's just going to hurt though if you're aiming to do bad damage, you can collapse it pretty easy with your fingers. They definitely won't be calling for help and it almost always results in some kind of death,” he goes on.

“Cool,” Gavin says fondly. “So what do I do exactly? Without horribly killing you.”

“Preferably without that, yeah,” Ryan agrees. “I personally don't care much for having my circulation cut off. Lack of air or pain is preferred.” He adjusts Gavin's hands on his neck appropriately. “If you push here with your palms, not your fingers, it greatly reduces my air intake.” Taking this as a suggestion that he should try it, Gavin pushes down faintly and Ryan lets out a small rasp. Much like Ray, he doesn’t have a lot of weight behind him and the chance of him accidentally doing harm is minimum.

“Like this?” he asks, watching Ryan’s face for any red flags that he should stop. Doing this for the first time in the dark probably isn’t the best idea, either. Ryan is chocked full of good ideas. He nods.

“Just like that,” Ryan assures. He moves Gavin's hands once more. “Or you can just dig your fingers in here. It's mostly muscle and is ridiculously painful but harmless. Mostly.” Gavin digs his fingers in, cautiously at first and then firmer when he's sure it's fine. The deep, intense pain that spreads out from where Gavin presses his boney fingers in makes Ryan’s fingers twitch. He puts his hands down.

“And you like that?” Gavin questions, looking at the bruises that have settled across his skin. Ryan nods.

“Well yeah,” he agrees. He wouldn't be doing it if he didn't.

“You're so bloody weird,” Gavin murmurs. Ryan chuckles. “Can I?”

“Hey, go for it,” he insists. He's not exactly going to come in his pants from a little choking after all. Gavin gladly goes about trying it out, eyes flickering to Ryan's face every so often to assure he's doing alright. Honestly, Ryan isn’t fully sure Gavin could legitimately hurt him like this even maliciously. Apparently he finds the ‘lack of air’ method more to his liking and takes to doing it to his heart's content; pushing down and holding until Ryan gasps for air then releasing so he can catch his breath then doing it again. He holds it a little longer each time, curiously trying to figure out where Ryan’s threshold is. It's a lot longer than this and Ryan will definitely let him know when he gets there.

After a while, Gavin takes his hands down. He looks at Ryan a moment then his neck where many more bruises will surely bloom later, then he pushes off his lap and plops back onto the couch.

“Alright, I'm done,” he says simply and he picks his beer back up to finish it off.

“Do you want to kiss so more?” Ryan offers, a slight scratchiness to his voice from the prolonged play.

“No,” Gavin replies and he shakes his head. When he said he was done he obviously meant with everything. Ryan adjusts the front of his jeans a little and clears his throat.

“Well then, I'm going to help out the others,” he murmurs.

“Alright,” Gavin snorts like that's really none of his business. Clearly he's been sated for the time being and has no further interest in having anything to do with the rest of this. Fair enough. Ryan gets to his feet and heads to join Ray and Lindsay on the floor. Michael obviously has everything under control by the noise Jack is making but Ray perhaps didn't think this all the way through and the two of them rut in frustration. Neither of them are sensitive enough to get much satisfaction from tribbing like this but likewise, neither of them are interested in breaking apart to figure something else out, either.

Ryan gets down on his knees to supply the both of them with ample aid from his fingers and tongue.

\- x -

Jack shifts a bit and yawns as she gradually awakens. She peers over her shoulder at Ryan who's pressed against her back then at Gavin with his face in her breasts. He's still faintly snoring so he's probably okay down there. A small look around reveals no sign of Ray, Michael, or Lindsay but after a moment or two of listening, she can hear the shower running and the rustling of bodies together. Ray awake at this hour? A miracle. After a moment or two, Ryan begins to stir and eventually gets out of bed and pads off out of the room. Knowing him he's probably off to find something to eat.

It's still early and despite knowing she lives right across the hall, Jack currently has no motivation to go home yet. Besides, she has to bring her boyfriends with her otherwise they'll end up staying around and never going home. That's how they ended up living in her apartment after all. Michael will tell them to go home when he's had enough of them anyways so there's really no worry of over staying their welcome.

So it was definitely a sex date and it definitely went well. Jack just hopes things continue to go well in the future and they don't end up awkward co-workers that used to have sex but don't anymore. She supposes that wouldn't really be the end of the world and she doesn't really need to be as worried about it as she is.

There's a knock at the door and for some bizarre reason, Jack assumes Gavin is going to get up and get it. He's out like a light, however, and shows no signs of even caring that someone might be here. Who even would be here at this hour? Everyone's already here. By the sound of things, Ryan answers the door.

“What the fuck. Why are you in Michael’s apartment? Where are your pants?” Well, Geoff's here. At least it doesn’t sound like he's here for her. Hell at this point Jack wouldn't even care, she's just glad he's out of his room. “You're fucking hung, man. I knew there was a reason Jack liked you- hey don't close the door on me.”

“What do you want?” Ryan grumbles, his voice nearly inaudible from the distance. “Or who, I guess.”

“I was going to talk to Michael,” Geoff assures.

“He's- busy,” Ryan replies. “With sex. He, Ray, and Lindsay can go at it like rabbits. Just all night with them.”

“Gross. Stop talking. Where's Lindsay, then?” Geoff asks shortly.

“Busy,” Ryan repeats. “As I just said; the three of them, rabbit sex, all night.”

“Jack?” Geoff asks in exasperation.

“Sleeping,” Ryan scoffs. “Geoff, it's like six in the morning. Why are _you_ awake?”

“I had an idea,” Geoff insists. Ryan makes a noise of disbelief. “We're going to rob Los Santos’ star football player.” Gavin yawns tiredly and lifts his head a bit to see what's going on before deciding it doesn’t interest him, kneading Jack's chest a bit, then going back to sleep. Jack would like to remind everyone her tits aren't, in fact, pillows but for now, she supposes he's fine. She goes back to eavesdropping.

“You got me, why?” Ryan asks, legitimately curious but also tired and annoyed from a long night of less than complete sleep.

“Because he's a dick. Speaking of which, you gonna put that thing away or what? I feel like you're gonna get a boner and poke me in the eye or something,” Geoff says.

“You really would not believe how soft you're making me right now,” Ryan promises. “Look, Geoff, I'm glad you're feeling better but come back later. Go back to sleep. I'll tell the others you wanna rub my dick, alright?”

“Not what I said- Hey, Ryan, that's not what I said. Ryan-” The sound of the door closing and being locked muffles out anything else Geoff says. Ryan makes his way back into the bedroom and climbs back into bed to snuggle back up to Jack. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time to go back to sleep. There's a loud thud of a body hitting the ground that wakes all three of them up real good. Gavin sits up in alarm immediately but Jack just sighs. Ray laughs.

“Idiot. Oh, he can't hear me, right. How do you hand sign idiot?” Another thump soon follows. “Shit! Why's there water all over the place! Whose dumb fucking idea was this!”

“Jack,” Ryan groans. “It's your turn to check them for concussions.”

“Ryan,” Jack moans back. “You're already up, please.”

“Aw, Michael don't bleed. We just got the floor re-tiled,” Lindsay sighs.

“Okay, okay,” Jack grumbles. “I'm up. I'm going.”

\- x -

For the first time in several weeks now, the lot of them gather in Geoff’s heist room. They're all still a little tired from all the sex last night but it's nothing to complain about. Michael’s head injury aside, it's been a good morning. He's always hurting himself, it's truly amazing. Jack isn’t looking forward to worrying about _two_ walking accidents waiting to happen. None the less, they all file down the hall and into Geoff's surprisingly clean apartment. Jeremy, settled into the couch, points them to the heist room without a word.

Geoff's already busy at work planning. That's definitely a good thing, regardless of what comes of his planning. Hopefully this does mean he's feeling better. He glances at them as they wander in and all take a seat around the office to see what he's up to. His board is filled to the brim with little bits of knowledge and notes that sometimes, but not usually, are helpful in any way. Jack's not sure why he's randomly decided to target a football player of all people but she's not complaining. That boy's cost her some heavy bets.

“Well,” Geoff says matter of factly with his back to them. “While you guys were off having an orgy, I've come up with our next heist. I trust you all can keep it in your collective pants until it's done.”

“We'll see,” Ray murmurs. “That's a lot to ask for, Geoff. I masturbarte a lot.” Geoff smiles at him sarcastically before turning back to his map. He fiddles around with some more things before finally deeming it ready enough.

“So Kraid. Kraid Kraid Kraid. Number ol fifty three. The best of a bad situation,” he hums. “Asshole extraordinaire. Can't go a game without doing something to get his team kicked and yet never does. And why do we think that is?”

“Either bribing someone or threatening someone,” Jack assures. “Same as always. Probably just the officials.”

“Wrong,” Geoff says. “Close. He's not bribing the officials.”

“But someone is?” Gavin inquires, rubbing his head tiredly.

“Bingo. The other coaches are bribing the refs,” Geoff explains. That doesn't make a lot of sense.

“Why would the _other_ coaches be trying to keep Kraid playing?” Lindsay asks curiously.

“They want to hurt their players?” Ryan offers. Geoff points at him affirmatively.

“Three legs over here gets it,” he gladly assures. “They want their players injured. Why? Most of them just to get off of contract. If they get hurt on the field, who's gonna ask any questions? That means ol Kraid here is making some serious bank. Now, maybe it's just me, but this is our town and that kinda makes the football team ours too, right? Which means a good cut of Kraid’s cash belongs to us.”

“Something tells me he's not going to see it that way,” Michael comments.

“You know how crazy people get over their money,” Geoff agrees. He flinches suddenly and winces his eyes closed. “Sorry,” he murmurs in Ryan's direction. Ryan shrugs vaguely. “Anyways, we have a couple ways to go about this. A, we break his legs.”

“Good idea,” Jack replies eagerly. “Let's do that one.”

“Problem is, people are pretty much gonna know it was us and people get awfully upset when their favorite athletes get done in,” Geoff says. “B, we ask him nicely to hand over our percentage.”

“Is there an option for breaking his legs on live tv?” Jack asks. “Ryan can do it.” Ryan nods agreeably.

“Shut up, we're not breaking his legs,” Geoff says flatly.

“Why even offer then?” Jack grumbles under her breath.

“Or c, we just help ourselves while he's busy with his little day job,” Geoff grins.

“Uh, b sounds like a good plan,” Ray says.

“So, he's the quick run down. We hit his house, meaning we gotta get his girlfriend busy. Using the stuff from his house, we hit his safe and his safety deposit box. Once those are empty, we grab his banking numbers and cash out on his overseas accounts. Finally, to make sure he gets the point, we take his coach out,” Geoff makes an execution gesture over his throat with his thumb.

“That part's good. That part I like,” Jack assures gladly.

“Any questions? No Jack, for the last time, we're not breaking his legs,” Geoff says. Jack scoffs. One leg would be fine, they don't have to break both.

“Yeah uh,” Gavin murmurs. “Should I care who this guy is or what sport he plays?”

“Yes because I said so,” Geoff replies. “Next question.”

“All you need to know, Vav, is this guy sucks. Like I don’t want to say our team sucks big hairy mammoth balls _because_ of him but when you throw an interception just to get a specific guy tackled, it's definitely why we lose by so much,” Ray explains. “Hell, I'd want to break his legs, too.”

“I have a question, why not just off him?” Michael asks blandly.

“Because unfortunately, whether Jack likes it or not, he is Los Santos’ best player and they either need to be winning or I need to be making money,” Geoff promises. “Alright, here's how it's going to go down. Jeremy, you and-” he stops when he realises Jeremy isn’t even in the room. He peers behind him then around the floor before sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Jeremy!”

A small, startled thump comes from the living room then quick footsteps. Likely having thought something was wrong, Jeremy peeks into the room and is understandably confused when everything is fine. Geoff looks at him flatly.

“Jeremy,” he says. “Why aren't you in here?”

“Was I supposed to be?” Jeremy asks inquisitively.

“Yes Jeremy,” Geoff sighs. “You are supposed to be.” Jeremy quickly takes a seat along with them and glances at Jack pleasantly. When she gives him an odd look, he decides to look somewhere else. This just so happens to be at Ryan and his intimidating face paint makes Jeremy quickly decide to face forward.

“Alright. Once again, here is the plan,” Geoff repeats. “Jeremy and Lindsay, you two are going to distract the girlfriend. Ray, Gavin, and Jack, you're going to be hitting the house. Now, if we do this right-”

Well, at least Jack knows he's taking his relationship with Jeremy seriously. Including him in a heist? Geoff's never done that before. If he doesn't kick them to the curb immediately, it's usually a few days before he gets bored and tries to drop them off somewhere. He's never involved them in heists. That also means Geoff thinks Jeremy will work well with them which isn't an easy qualification to make. Maybe Jeremy is good for him after all. He really is a sweetie.

Of course, the problem is never the other people. The problem is usually Geoff shoving his own head up his ass. Jeremy obviously isn't too bothered by this because he keeps showing up. All Jack knows is Geoff better be nice to him or she'll kick his ass herself. He's done some good for this crew and Jack appreciates that even if Geoff doesn’t realise it.

“Everyone got it?” Geoff asks. Everyone vaguely nods and offers little agreements in their tired haze. Jack got most of that so it'll probably be fine. It's not like they ever stick to a plan anyways. They're just stealing some money from some shit football player. They've hit convenience stores with more security. “Alright good. Jack, you get the bob. Lindsay, the truck. Ryan and Jeremy, make sure we can get into the bank. Michael, Ray, you're on coach duty. Gavin, you're with me.”

“Now? We're doing this now?” Jack questions incredulously.

“ _Yeah_. Why, you assholes got something better to do? Besides sucking each other's dicks,” Geoff scoffs. He's got some great timing, doesn't he? Jack sighs but she shakes her head. “That's what I thought. Let's get moving.”

\- x -

No one says anything for a while. They just sit quietly in the back of the van, surrounded by charred money and covered in blood. Ray's going to say, that could have definitely gone better. It could have gone worse, sure, but it could have gone better. Geoff sits with his head in his hands, quietly contemplating what happened. Even Ray isn’t completely sure himself. Everything was going off without a hitch then suddenly things started going wrong and everyone was screaming and now a lot of people are dead. Basically exactly how all their heists go. Geoff sits up again, knitting his fingers together in his lap.

“Fired,” he says quietly. “All of you are fired. So fired.”

“Hey, we got the money, didn't we?” Gavin insists.

“Gavin. You are _especially_ fired,” Geoff promises. “You are so fired, you're rehired and fired again.”

“Oh, stop bitching,” Michael scoffs. “It wasn’t that bad. So we destroyed a few sections of a stadium. That place is huge anyways. We got the cash, the coach is dead, and Kraid is fucking terrified. What more do you want?”

“Kraid is gonna be in a full body cast,” Geoff reminds them.

“You say that like it's bad,” Ray murmurs.

“Alright, yeah,” Michael agrees. “That was Ryan’s fault, though.”

“My fault?” Ryan scoffs. “How was it my fault?”

“You did kinda push him off a three story building,” Jeremy says.

“Shuddup,” Ryan gruffs back.

“Three other players are dead,” Geoff continues.

“They weren’t great players?” Jack tries to offers.

“Los Santos won’t be playing for the rest of the season,” he says.

“You know, I'm starting to think we might have done them a favor,” Lindsay insists. Geoff puts his head back in his hands. Hey, Ray still thinks this went better than usual. None of them got seriously injured after all. Besides, it wasn't like Los Santos was going to make it anywhere anyways. Geoff can just watch soccer or something instead. Or root for a good team.

Jack parks the van in the garage and they all climb out to stretch their legs and head upstairs. Someone will deal with the burnt money later. They all squeeze into the elevator, no one willing to take the stairs or even wait for the next one, and ride up to their apartments in silence. As usual for after a heist, they all gather up in Geoff’s apartment and fling themselves tiredly onto whatever soft surface is available. Geoff pours several shots that he immediately throws back for himself then a few more for everyone else to down. Lindsay starts a joint to pass around.

“So,” Ryan murmurs. “Anyone up for some cards?” Everyone nods agreeably. Just because things didn't go according to plan doesn’t mean they didn't succeed and can't celebrate.

“Loser has to sort through the burned money,” Lindsay announces.

“Ah, weak,” Gavin huffs under his breath. Jack pulls out their slanted deck of cards and everyone gathers around the coffee table and tv to join in. They're already all over the news but this time, people seem surprised. It's probably because they've been quiet for so long. ‘FAKE not dead?’ Of course they're not dead. Why always jump to dead? They have complicated personal lives that need to be juggled with massive criminal activity just like everyone else.

Ray settles himself on the floor, rested against the couch and Gavin joins him, laying his head on Ray's shoulder. Jack shuffles the deck and deals out a hand of cards before relaxing back in the couch. Lindsay leans against her comfortably and yawns. She pulls her bra off from under her shirt and flings it over the back of the couch with a content sigh, massaging her sore tits in her hands. Jack takes her good idea and does the same, unclasping her bra and growing much more comfortable without the restriction. Jeremy blinks curiously before fiddling under his shirt for a moment and then sighing happily. 

It's been a long day especially when most of them were already running on little sleep. Maybe Ray should have taken that nap instead of another round of sex after all. Michael saddles up beside Ryan and Ryan tilts his head atop his. Irritably, Michael headbutts him a little but Ryan is unbothered by it and Michael grumpily allows it. Jeremy rests between Geoff's knees lazily.

“Ray,” Gavin whines. “What do you have?”

“Aces,” Ray murmurs back. Gavin makes a noise of complaint.

“Ah fuck. Fold,” Jeremy scoffs immediately, tossing his hand on the table.

“Aw, are you lying X-Ray? Come on, I hate sorting cash. Help me out here,” he urges and flops himself over across Ray's lap.

“I ain’t wanna sort cash, either,” Ray assures him with a mild huff. Lindsay passes the joint to Jack and Jack passes it to Ray. He takes a shallow puff from it before offering it to Gavin who refuses with a small shake of the head so Ray just passes it off to Michael.

“He’s out,” Ryan murmurs, taking it instead.

“Yeees,” Gavin whispers. “Michael forfeits. He sorts the cash.” Well he’s not going to be happy about that.

“I fold,” Jack scoffs a bit, tossing her cards down as well.

“Call,” Ryan offers and he passes the joint back across the table to Geoff.

“Call,” Ray agrees. He leans over a little to see Gavin’s face but the lad has also passed out cold. “Gavin’s out. Looks like both of ‘em get to sort cash tomorrow.”

“Oh good,” Lindsay hums. “Chumps. Fold.”

“Ray, I fucking swear if you have a hand of aces over there,” Geoff grumbles. “Call.” Ray tosses down his hand of straight aces. “You fucking asshole. How’d you immediately hit four aces?”

“Fucking, that Puerto Rican luck, Geoff,” Ray insists. Geoff mocks him irritably as Jack shuffles the cards again to deal a new hand.

“Lindsay?” Jack murmurs softly but she’s out just the same.

“Another one bites the dust,” Ray sings quietly. They make it about halfway through the next hands before Jeremy and Ryan are fast asleep as well. This might be the shortest game of cards they’ve every played and that’s including the time Gavin dropped a landmine on the table ‘accidentally’.

“Ray?” Geoff questions. Ray doesn’t make a reply, too lazy to bother and too tired to have to deal with whatever comes after anyways. “Jack? Still awake?”

“Mm,” Jack hums back. Neither of them say anything for a few moments and their game doesn’t continue any further.

“I’m sorry Jack,” Geoff says quietly.

“Mm. What did you do?” Jack replies but she surely can’t be listening all that closely.

“For everything,” Geoff murmurs. “I know I’ve been a real ass lately.”

“‘Lately’,” Jack snorts amusedly.

“I know, I know. I could make a ton of excuses and reasons but I won’t. You didn’t deserve any of that. You never deserved any of it,” he says. Jack doesn’t say anything. “You’ve been by my side since, hell, since it was just Burnie and the guys. Man, I was just a dumb kid back then. I didn’t know how to deal with shit let alone feelings- let alone feelings towards you. I guess I never grew out of that bullshit unfortunately. Sorry about that, too.” Still, she says nothing.

“I’ve just- I’ve been having a hard time lately and that’s not an excuse that’s- that’s me saying how much I damn appreciate you, okay? Sometimes I just, I dunno, I’d rather just- not be and knowing you’re around to take care of everything when I’m in bed for days is such a relief. You really don’t know how much that means to me, Jack, mostly because apparently I don’t have the necessary social functions to say it to your face,” Geoff laughs bitterly as he twiddles the joint between his fingers. He reaches over to pass it to her and she accepts it without comment.

“And I- I’m glad you could find some- _ones_ that make you happy, my feelings aside. You deserve it and so much more, really with all the work you do around here. I hope you can forgive me,” he murmurs. “I mean, I wouldn’t. You definitely don’t have to.”

“I don’t,” Jack replies softly. Geoff sighs a bit and again, there’s a small lapse of silence between them.

“Yeah,” he finally says. “Well, does that mean you’re still mad at me?”

“I was never- okay, I was a little mad at you,” Jack admits. “But mostly I was just frustrated and worried. I didn’t mean to push you away as hard as I did Geoff but I have lines too.”

“I know you do,” Geoff agrees. “And I never should have made you feel so attacked like that. You were right to push me back in line.”

“You’re my best friend, Geoff, even if you’re just a downright asshole sometimes,” she says.

“Yeah,” he snorts a laugh. “I don’t know why but yeah. You’re my best friend, too. You know that, right?”

“Sometimes,” Jack scoffs. “I worry about you, okay? I worry where your head’s at sometimes. I don’t want to see you- I don’t want to see you dead, okay?”

“I know baby,” Geoff murmurs quietly. “Thank you. It really does mean a lot to me even if I don’t act like it. I don’t know why you’ve stuck around this long, god knows you never had to, but I couldn’t have done it without you. I take you for granted a lot and I definitely need to stop. You’ve always had the patient of a saint though, haven’t you?”

“Someone’s gotta with you around,” Jack laughs. “You and everyone else.”

“I’ll stop, okay? With the jokes and the comments and- harassment. I should have a long time ago,” he says. “I don’t even know what I was trying to accomplish. Maybe make us both feel like shit. God I fucking suck.”

“I can’t really argue with that,” Jack agrees.

“I really do love you,” Geoff murmurs.

“I love you too, Geoff,” she replies softly.

“Gaaaay,” Ray whispers.


	6. Annibirthmas

Jack reclines in her beach chair and makes herself nice and comfortable in the warm sun. She adjusts her shades, the little heart shaped things sat nicely on her face, and takes a moment to glance down at herself before shifting her chair back further. With a little nuzzling, she adjusts her breast to prevent that odd little tan line and happily lays back again. This is nice. Sometimes it’s just nice to sit on an empty beach with her datemates and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Or mostly peace and quiet at any rate. Ryan, Michael, and Gavin are splashing around in the shallow bits of the cool water loudly but happily, wrestling and tossing each other under the cool waves. Lindsay sunbathes her back in another cozy chair and Ray is half buried in the sand under the shade of an umbrella with his game in hand, as usual. Jack will probably hop in the water in a little bit but for now, she’s just much too content to enjoy the nice warm sun and her nice relaxing book.

The beach is technically off limits due to landmines but when the person that put them there is Ryan, the concern is minimum. He assures that he ‘pretty much’ knows where they are and that they’ll ‘probably be fine’ which is enough for Jack today. It’s been awhile since they’ve had some time like this. With Geoff feeling better more and more lately and Ryan steadily but surely getting down off his white horse, they've more or less returned to their old crew ways. Their heists go about as well as they used to and the city remembers them well. It's good to be on the news again.

Jack watches amusedly as Michael holds Ryan under the water in agitation and after a moment too long, Gavin panics a little. Of course, Ryan just pops back up with a laugh and shakes himself off, no harm done. He can hold his breath a lot longer than that. Jack still can't really bring herself to choke him like he likes but the others are really more than happy to do it for him.

Still, it's nice to see Ryan comfortable while he's out and about without anything on his face. His scars are pretty bad, sure, but Jack doesn’t think they're ugly. Likewise, she's glad they got Ray out here. He can’t swim, unsurprisingly, but he's still pretty content to sit in the sand in his swim binder and stuff ‘beach food’ into his face while he plays his games. She'd like him to get at least a little sun but she also knows he burns ridiculously easily. They're having fun and that's really all that matters.

Lindsay seems to be working on her phone, unable to be unpreoccupied for too long, but Jack isn’t going to complain about it now. A workaholic Lindsay is a happy Lindsay she supposes. Jack goes back to her book.

“I got a friend flying in next week,” Lindsay hums happily as she reaches for half of a cucumber sandwich to chow down on. Jack laughs.

“Oh? Are we getting a new chief of police already? This one just started,” she insists.

“Not yet,” Lindsay laughs back. “No, this is an actual friend. Haven't seen her in a while so it'll be nice.”

“Ah. Is she, uh, _used_ to this lifestyle?” Jack questions.

“The gay polyamory part or the violent criminal part?” Lindsay asks back.

“Both, I suppose,” Jack murmurs. She was speaking more of the criminal part but she knows perhaps the other part won't fly over so well with some people. Hopefully no one Lindsay calls a friend would have a problem with them, though.

“Mostly the second, some of the first,” Lindsay assures. “We used to pick pockets together.”

“Of course,” Jack chuckles. “I assume you two are on good terms, then?”

“Oh yeah. She’s a sweetheart,” Lindsay promises.

“A violent criminal sweetheart,” Jack confirms.

“Second only to you,” Lindsay replies, making a small kissing gestures in Jack’s direction. Jack rolls her eyes playfully. “I don’t know how long she’ll be staying. She just finished college and is looking for a place to settle down, so-” She shrugs.

“She could be a politician,” Jack offers.

“She’s not _that_ violent,” Lindsay assures and they both laugh a little.

“Are you hoping to- ‘reconnect’, then?” Jack asks.

“Absolutely,” Lindsay answers without skipping a beat. This isn’t that surprising. Jack doubts they’d be having this conversation if there was any other reason to it. Lindsay isn’t exactly the ‘friend’ kind of person. She may seem like it and she’s certainly _friendly_ , but she knows how to deal her cards and very rarely is it with anyone else. There’s a reason she runs this crew. “If that’s alright with you guys, of course.”

“She seems nice,” Jack agrees. “I look forward to meeting her.”

“Yo, I’m down,” Ray promises, still paying some amount of attention between them and his game. “We’ve got like a whole dude party going on here anyways.”

“That’s not a _good_ reason to take on _another_ girlfriend, but alright,” Jack murmurs. Ray shrugs.

“Cool,” Lindsay grins. “Michael and Gavin know ‘er already.”

“Just be sure to mention it to Ryan, then,” Jack comments, returning back to her book. She has learned that more people are not necessarily a bad thing and furthermore, things actually aren’t nearly as complicated as she thought they would be. In the beginning, she was concerned that trying to manage and handle so many intertwined relationships was going to be an issue none of them could possibly deal with. Instead, the longer they are together, the easier it is to get stuff done between them. Jack is fairly certain even heists are going easier now because of it. Sure, they were all friends before, close friends even, but being intimate and getting to know each other like they have been lately has broken down walls Jack didn’t even know were there.

“Don’t joke about that, Ryan!” Gavin yelps increasingly loud as he hurriedly hobbles onto Michael’s shoulder to get himself at least somewhat out of the water. Ryan swims around them like a lurking shark, clearing having way too much fun.

“That does remind me, though,” Jack murmurs. “I’ve been thinking about it recently and, I don’t know, Geoff’s doing better lately.”

“Mm hm,” Lindsay hums back. “I don’t know what Jeremy does, but obviously it’s working.”

“I, might be thinking about giving him a chance?” she says tentatively. Lindsay actually stops working for a moment to look at her. Ray sputters out a drink of redbull and Jack turns to him.

“Sorry,” Ray murmurs. “There’s fuckin’ sand everywhere.”

“That is, of course,” Jack says turning back to Lindsay again. “If he even still wants one? And if that’s alright with you guys and Jeremy.”

“I mean, yeah?” Lindsay assures. “Whatever? I just- I’m surprised. I didn’t think you’d _ever_ give him a chance _ever_.”

“No shit,” Ray agrees immediately. “You fucking tearing him a new asshole seemed pretty clear to me, man.”

“Well, yeah,” Jack murmurs softly. “It’s more complicated than that.” Lindsay rather pointedly puts her phone down to assure she’s listening. Ray doesn’t, obviously, but he’s certainly not paying attention to his game anymore which is saying something. Jack sighs.

“I didn’t mean to disturb our date for this,” she assures mildly.

“I dunno, I think a date is the best time to find out what the hell happened between you two,” Lindsay promises. Jack really doesn’t think it’s that interesting, or important for that matter, but she also knows they don’t really know that. Of course they would be curious.

“I wouldn’t say _anything_ happened, really,” Jack replies. It’s not like there was some big, main event where they just stopped being whatever they never were.

“Geoff has two assholes now,” Ray says. “He literally has two assholes.”

“Alright, well,” Jack sighs again. “You know Geoff and I have been friends for a very long time. I was the first person he worked with that wasn’t one of his dumb, spoiled high school buddies and we’ve been working together ever since. I, you know, I was young and dumb then, too. Believe it or not, for a little while there, Geoff was a handsome young man.”

“I’d still bang ‘im,” Ray assures.

“Imagine that but times two,” Jack replies.

“Damn,” Ray says.

“Damn,” Lindsay agrees.

“Yeah and, I mean, he was alright,” she murmurs. “He wasn’t the greatest guy. He was still Geoff but- we connected, I guess. I let him get away with a lot of stuff I never should have because he was- he was cute and I liked him. And, yeah, he liked me, I knew that. He let me get away with things, I suppose. It was a long time ago, though. Rose coloured glasses and all that.”

“And?” Lindsay asks suggestively. Jack shrugs a little.

“And I grew the fuck up,” she answers. “I’ve battled with seasonal depression for almost my entire life, and I still am, and for a while there, it was so bad. It wasn’t even ‘seasonal’ anymore, it was just all the time. My alternative solution to most of my problems was, well, I could always just kill myself. It was bad and- Geoff definitely didn’t make it better. I wanted to tell Geoff so many times, or even for him to just stop being selfish long enough to notice but it’s hard. It’s so hard. I- I know what Geoff is going through. I know it’s hard. I know it’s easier to shut your mouth and not do anything and stay in bed for days than it is to ask for anyone for anything. And I never did. No one ever helped me. Getting ‘better’,” she makes air quotations, “was the hardest thing I have ever done.”

“Do you- really blame Geoff for not helping you, Jack?” Lindsay questions softly.

“No,” Jack laughs. “God no. Depression is quiet. You think people notice and it makes you be brave so you’re not a burden on anyone. No, Geoff couldn’t have known and even if he did, I never would have admitted to it.”

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Ray offers. “That really sucks, dude.”

“I will never be the person I could have been because of my depression,” Jack assures. “Nor do I ever expect to be. But no, I don’t blame Geoff for not knowing. I might be bitter about the fact that his idiotic method of flirting inadvertently made me want to kill myself more often than he could ever know, but no. That was a long time ago now.” Both Lindsay and Ray grimace a little.

“My frustration with Geoff comes from years of his selfish, childish behavior. Whether it was him telling me he loved me as a joke, poking at my insecurities for whatever inane reasons he thinks he had, or sabotaging my dates because he couldn’t possibly fathom anyone else showing any interest in me- we’ve had a complicated friendship for a long time,” Jack promises somewhat fleetingly. “I can assure you, he doesn’t even deserve the back of my hand most of the time.”

“Why even bother then?” Ray insists. “Do you really think he’s changed that much?” Jack snorts a little.

“It’s more complicated than that,” she promises. “As bad as it was sometimes, and sometimes it was very, very bad, that’s not all there was. Geoff and I were, and still are I believe, best friends for a reason. Not ‘despite’ of anything that’s happened between us, not putting all that aside or anything. We’ve been through everything together, you have to understand. We’re old. Old and bitter. Geoff is capable of some downright nasty things, more than any of you could understand, but he’s capable of a lot more than that. I’m not really ‘bothering’, as you put it, I know for a fact Geoff is worth more than he pretends to be.”

“Geoff’s hurt you a lot, Jack,” Lindsay murmurs.

“And I’ve hurt Geoff a lot,” Jack assures. “And Geoff’s saved my life and I’ve saved his. The bad things don’t go away. They never go away and the good things, they don’t make them better. But the good things are there, too. I’m not forgiving Geoff because I don’t have to. I don’t need to forgive the bad things he’s done to know he’s done good ones. He’s proving, after what? Nearly two decades now that he’s finally growing up. And I’ve thought about it and I think I’m finally willing to put effort into a relationship with him if he’s willing to put in the same amount of effort. More importantly, I think he’s actually capable of that effort now.”

“Fuck man, go for it, then,” Ray scoffs. “If that’s what you want.”

“I’m still thinking about it,” Jack promises. “And I still want to talk to Ryan about it. With the way Geoff has treated him before, I wouldn’t blame him if he isn’t about it.”

“I don’t think Ryan’s going to be the one to tell you no,” Linday comments. She’s probably right, Ryan isn’t one to do something like that, but there’s no telling. Surprisingly, Ryan actually has a very acute awareness of what is actually not a good idea. As much as Jack respects Ryan’s feelings, she also highly regards his opinions on certains things- like this. If Ryan says no, there’s a reason for it that Jack won’t tempt.

“What are we talking about?” Ryan asks as he pads up, soaking wet with ocean water. He flops down in the warm sand in front of their chairs, promptly coating himself in with, and smiles pleasantly. Gavin isn’t far behind, happily rolling in the warm sand, something they’ll both regret later. Michael makes the wise choice to dry off first.

“Geoff,” Jack answers simply.

“Gross,” Michael replies. “Why.”

“It was relevant,” Lindsay hums back as she pushes herself up again.

“Come on Ray, the water is nice,” Gavin urges.

“Nope,” Ray replies.

“It’s not even that deep!” he insists. “You don’t have to swim!”

  
“No way,” Ray repeats, going back to his game.

“Don’t we have any sandwiches with meat in them?” Michael complains mildly.

“We did,” Jack assures, glancing at Ray.

“You swim you lose,” Ray answers.

“Gimme one of those,” Ryan says as he rolls onto his back. “I’m down with cucumber.”

\- x -

When Lindsay said a ‘friend’ was coming, Jack didn’t know she meant Mica fucking Burton. Why would she have _ever_ assumed she meant Mica fucking Burton? Of course, that being said, Jack hasn’t spoken much to her since she’s arrived mostly due to some mixture of awestruck and starstruck. Not that she’s noticed much. Mica seems to be enjoying herself thus far, romping around town with them and getting to know the city a little.

“Like, I’m not the only one that finds this weird, right?” Geoff murmurs curiously. At a first glance, the way Lindsay and Ryan are hovering over Mica seems fairly predatory, Jack will admit to that. They have her sort of pinned in a corner, Ryan leaned against the wall over one of her shoulders and Lindsay leaned against the wall under her other. On a closer look, however, it’s fairly clear Mica is directing this entire encounter, talking softly to make them lean in closer and exchanging little touches to edge them closer or further. This is a conversation set to her pace.

“Which part?” Jack replies. Geoff has to think about it for a moment.

“Good question,” he finally says. How Mica could possibly get away with being a violent criminal while her father is a famous actor is a very interesting question. Jack would not be surprised if she took the Ryan route of never showing her face but from what she’s seen so far, that doesn’t seem to be the case. In fact, quite the opposite. She stopped to take a selfie with a cop they had trapped in his own police car just earlier today.

Barring that, she’s young. Like younger than Ray even. Jack can not say exactly how young, Lindsay did say they used to work together in some sort of way, but Jack really isn’t sure how to feel about this. Ray is only in his mid twenties, the youngest of them, and admittedly it’s not that young. They’re each an acceptable distance from the next in age. Seeing Ryan flirt with Mica like this is, unfortunately, a little bit weird, yeah. Which Jack really doesn’t think is fair to Mica at all and thus, she keeps it to herself.

Then, of course, just the fact that she’s Mica Burton, daughter to an amazing actor, for some reason just chilling with a bunch of criminals in Los Santos. That’s weird, obviously. They just have a well known actor’s young daughter who apparently is a well verse criminal no one knows about committing crimes with them and flirting with some white dude in his thirties. Sure. Okay.

“How long is she staying?” Geoff asks.

“I'm not sure,” Jack replies. “Lindsay says she's looking for a place to settle down.”

“Am I supposed to be offering her a job or something?” he questions. Jack gives a small shrug.

“She fits in,” she murmurs.

“Yeah,” Geoff agrees.

“Like ridiculously well,” Jack assures.

“I know,” he scoffs again. Jack glances over her shoulder as Michael pads into the room and begins shuffling around for something in some drawers. She gestures him over and he makes a disgruntled noise like it’s the worst thing he could do. Nevertheless, he leans in to give her a little kiss and she smiles at him fondly.

“Hey Michael, you know Mica, right?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Michael replies mildly. “We’ve met before.”

“How does she-?” Geoff asks curiously. Michael gives him an odd look.

“Hide her identity?” Jack finishes. Michael digs into his pocket for his phone and after a moment, shows it to the two of them. She’s not entirely sure what he’s trying to show them here.

“That’s Mica and her dad,” he explains.

“Whoa,” Jack replies. That does not look like Mica at all. She can see the similarities, sure, but they look like completely different people. Jack glances back to Mica, still happily flirting with Lindsay and Ryan quietly, then back to the image again.

“So she just wears make up?” Geoff asks. “That’s it?”

“Oh what, all black people look the same to you Geoff?” Michael bites.

“What? No. I just asked-” he replies hastily.

“I see what you’re doing, you’re trying to make poor, sweet Mica look like a bad guy because _you_ think they all look the same you ugly ass racist,” Michael snaps. Geoff squints at him, glances at Mica, then back again.

“She’s good,” he says quietly.

“She’s better than good,” Michael promises. “I still don’t fucking know when she wears makeup or even if we’ve ever seen her real face and we’ll never know.” Jack can see why Ryan is so interested in her. They’re a same cut of cloth, Mica being much more elegant about it. She could teach him a thing or two.

“She has a job here if she wants one,” Geoff assures. “And not just because it looks like Ryan’s third leg over there is about to bludgeon someone to death.”

“You have a _weird_ obsession with Ryan’s dick, dude,” Michael says.

“Really though,” Jack agrees.

“That thing is a hazard,” Geoff argues. “He almost poked my eye out with it!”

“If you want to get on Ryan’s dick, all you have to do is ask, Geoff,” Jack promises.

“Absolutely not,” Geoff scoffs back. “I like my asshole exactly the amount it’s stretched now.”

\- x -

He’s not _spying_. He’s watching. With binoculars. There’s a difference. They know he’s here, after all, which defeats the entire purpose of spying. Geoff makes an annoyed noise as he tries to make out what’s going on between Jeremy and Jack. He knows better than to even think Jack is trying to dissuade his relationship with Jeremy but at the same time, he wouldn’t say that was unfair of her. He hasn’t exactly aided a lot of her relationships. That just doesn’t seem like Jack’s method.

They’re chatting and laughing and Geoff supposes that is a good enough sign on its own but he’s still a little worried. Hell, for all he knows this conversation isn’t even about him. Hopefully. He doesn’t know why he’s so worked up about this.

“Why are they talking so long?” Geoff gruffs.

“Maybe because they’re adults with things to talk about?” Ryan replies mildly. “Adults that have worked together for a while now and have things to discuss?”

“Yeah right,” Geoff scoffs back. “You guys don’t work.”

“And I thought I was paranoid,” Ryan murmurs.

“Shut up,” Geoff snips back. “Don’t you have work to do or something?”

“You took my binoculars, Geoff,” Ryan grumbles. “I can’t see from here.”

“You always find something to complain about, don’t you?” Geoff replies irritably. Jeremy perks up in surprise and he looks up at Jack with a curious, questioning look. What is that? What are they talking about? Shouldn’t _they_ be working.

“What exactly are you expecting?” Ryan asks.

“You obviously don’t know Jack very well,” Geoff says.

“I would imagine I know her fairly well,” he promises somewhat fleetingly, a jab at the fact they’re dating. As if that means anything. So they bang sometimes, whoopie.

“Did you know she wanted to be a carpenter?” Geoff asks. “Wanted to design and build her own houses. Had to drop out when it got too expensive. Spent years making bird houses and shit.”

“Huh,” Ryan replies. “I did not know that. I would tell you something I know about her that you don’t but I feel like that would be pretty rude actually.” Geoff stops, lowering his binoculars long enough to give Ryan a dirty look before going back to his not-spying. They’re _still_ talking. What could they possibly be talking about for this long?

“I mean let’s be fair,” Ryan says. “If Jeremy is still around after everything so far, what do you think Jack is going to tell him that would make him change his mind? I’m honestly curious.”

“Oh, I don’t know, ‘hey Jeremy, don’t date Geoff anymore’?” Geoff answers sourly. Ryan gives him a pointed look.

“I don’t know, Jack seems pretty nice to me,” Mica insists, poking her head between the two front seats to peer out the window as well. Geoff yelps.

“Fucking dicks dude! You scared the shit out of me!” he barks. “Where the hell did you come from?”

“I’ve been here the entire time, Geoff,” Mica assures him. “Ryan asked me if I wanted to come along and you immediately invited yourself along which I imagine happens a lot.” Geoff looks at her then back to Ryan who shrugs nonchalantly.

“Why’d you invite her and not me?” Geoff asks shortly.

“Why would I assume you’d want to come along?” Ryan replies. Geoff grunts unhappily as he goes back to his binoculars once again.

“They’re _still_ talking,” he says in exasperation.

“You see Mica, Geoff is super in love with Jack but he’s mad because she told him off super hard,” Ryan explains and Mica nods thoughtfully. “So now he’s dating Jeremy because Jeremy is dumb and nice and Geoff has not been a complete asshole to him yet. But now Geoff’s worried that Jack is going to tell Jeremy what an asshole he is because he can’t keep a relationship to save his life.”

“Shut up. Who asked you. Mind your own business,” Geoff bites at him irritably. “God.”

“I would love to hear more,” Mica assures. “However, I’m also pretty sure that Ray and Gavin running towards us with? Twenty? Cops so perhaps another time.” Geoff hastily turns his binoculars out a different window and sure enough, there are his two idiot workers trying to scramble away from a bunch of police that they’re leading directly to them.

“Wonderful,” Geoff says sarcastically. So much for plan A. And B. And F. Maybe it’s just time for a new plan.

\- x -

“Geoff,” Jack calls and Geoff stops what he’s doing long enough to look back at her. “We should talk.”

“About what?” Geoff replies and he shakes a beer in her direction. She accepts it with a small nod and twists the cap off in her hand. He gives her a questioning look as they move to the living room and settle on the couch to talk. Jack fiddles with the lid of her beer for a moment, glancing around to see where Jeremy could be.

“Is this about something weird Ryan did again?” he scoffs mildly as he kicks his heels onto the coffee table. “I mean, I’ll _try_ to talk to him, I guess. You know how well he listens to me.”

“No, no,” Jack assures. “It’s nothing like that. I think Ryan’s spilled all his secrets by now.” She laughs a little but Geoff seems stunningly unconvinced. He’s right to be, of course. There’s no way Ryan would ever even be capable of that. Not by any malicious reasons but because he is just a strange, strange man.

“Well, I’m listening,” Geoff says somewhat impatiently.

“We need to talk about us, Geoff,” Jack says. There’s an awkward moment of silent that passes as Geoff obviously has to seriously think about what that even means and if he’s in trouble again.

“You’re not- quitting are you?” Geoff asks unsurely. “Can you do that?”

“I’m not quitting, Geoff,” Jack promises. “I’m glad you’re making such an effort to get better. I’m really proud of you.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for you,” he assures with a snort. “If you hadn’t made it so obvious you were so worried about me, I don’t know, I’d probably still be moping around or something.”

“I’m sorry I was so hard on you, Geoff,” Jack says quietly. “I really shouldn’t have been.”

“Nah,” Geoff answers nonchalantly. “I don’t think I would have listened otherwise. Or wouldn’t have believed you. I needed a wake up call like that.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Jack murmur. “After everything we’ve been through, it was really hard to see you that way.”

“You’re so soft,” Geoff snorts. “You big baby.” Jack laughs a little. “Thank you. It- ugh, these heartfelt conversations are giving me fucking cavities or something, I swear. You know it means a lot to me. It’s not like anyone else fucking cares about me.”

“Oh shut up,” Jack scoffs back at him. “We all care about your dumbass. You wanted space and they gave it to you. You can’t blame them for that.”

“You know what I mean,” Geoff insists with a grumble as he downs another heavy handed drink of his beer. “They're good. They're dumb, but they're good.” Jack nods in quiet agreement. They could definitely have a worse crew when all is said and done. And they have. “Is- this it? This is what you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, a little,” Jack says. “I actually, uh, wanted to know if you still wanted that date? I talked to Jeremy about it already.” Geoff looks at her unsurely, then around the room, then back to his bottle of beer. He squints at it, then her.

“Is this a joke? Cause last time that didn't go great for me,” he points out mildly.

“Last time you were acting like an entitled, self centred prick,” Jack replies shortly. Geoff shrugs with nonchalant agreement and nods. “And if you're going to decide to again-”

“No,” Geoff assures. “No. I think I'm done with that. Mostly.”

“I'll believe that when I see it,” Jack laughs a little and Geoff offers a small chuckle. “I'm serious, though. I've thought about it a lot and I think- I think I'm ready to give us a chance.” For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He takes a long drink from his bottle and, after a few seconds of consideration, nods quietly.

“Yeah,” he says. “I'd like that. I'd like that a lot.” Jack smiles at him a little and he gives a muted smile in return. They have a lot to work through but as long as Geoff is willing to put in the effort, so is Jack. She wouldn't say she still has a crush on him, she's too old and jaded for that, but there's the same thing there that's always been there. Now they'll see if it actually means anything.

“I don’t have to, like, kiss Ryan do I?” Geoff asks.

“I suppose not,” Jack replies thoughtfully. “Though it would be pretty hot to see you suck his dick.” Geoff halts immediately, holding his beer part way to his mouth as he looks at Jack plainly, trying to determine whether or not she's joking. She is, mostly. While Ryan is fine with her trying to date Geoff, he's expressed a significant disinterest in it himself. Which is surely for the best.

“Ha,” Geoff says sarcastically, finishing off his beer in a last gulp.

“Relax,” Jack teases him. “Ray can give you pointers.”

\- x -

Ryan watches lazily as Jack preps for her date. Sure enough, Geoff is taking her somewhere very nice and Jack likes to dress up for nice places. She's gotten out some of the nicest clothes he's ever seen her wear which really says something about the place Geoff is taking her. Truly, Ryan expected nothing less. Geoff is trying to make as good of an impression as possible though it won't make a difference if Jack just isn't feeling it. She really couldn't be blamed for that, either.

As she stands in front of the mirror by the stairs, she rustles through her box to find her little gold flower earrings to wear with her nice black dress. She looks absolutely stunning, of course, but Ryan usually thinks that. While she's getting ready, Mica wanders out of the bedroom in one of Ray's much too large sweaters and little else with ruffled hair and a grin on her face.

“Hey Jack,” she hums and Jack smiles back at her. “You look incredible!”

“Oh. Well thank you,” she replies, happily fluffing her hair a little. Mica waves at Ryan a little and he gives a small wave back before she heads out the apartment the short walk to the Jones’ residence. Pleased with this assurance, Jack pats out her dress again and adjusts the neckline for maximum effect. Ryan puts his spoonful of peanut butter down as she's pulling her necklace on.

“You do look great,” Ryan agrees, moving over to kiss her softly. Jack ducks out of the way a bit, obviously not wanting to either smudge her makeup or get peanut butter on her breath. He chuckles a little.

“And I'd like to leave the house that way,” she assures but she gives him a quick little peck anyways. Ryan makes a small, unsure frown momentarily.

“Are you tucking?” he asks, more curious than anything. Jack jolts a little.

“What? Why?” she replies hastily, fixing her dress again.

“No, no,” Ryan assures just as quick. “You're fine.” It's not noticeable, he didn't mean to concern her with that, it's simply that she’s standing different and he knows that ‘different’ from before they started dating.

“This dress is just pretty tight,” Jack murmurs softly. “You know.” She has gradually but surely stopped tucking because she said it was an uncomfortable hassle. Ryan thinks now that she has datemates that truly don't care one way or the other and more importantly, wouldn't let anyone bother her because of it, she feels more comfortable not having to. Which is exactly why Ryan is a little worried she thinks Geoff wouldn’t stand up for her. She doesn’t need it, Jack can easily handle herself, but the idea remains.

“Are you going to be alright?” Ryan asks. “I can come with you.”

“Thanks but no thanks, Ryan,” Jack scoffs with a little laugh. “I'll be fine.” He may just be looking too much into this, though. As long as she feels safe, there's nothing more for him to say. She gives him another little kiss of assurance and Ryan offers her a mute smile. Ray comes padding out of the bedroom lazily, covered in lipstick marks and likewise, also wearing one of his too big sweaters.

“Hey Jack,” he murmurs, patting her butt as he walks by. “Hey Ryan,” he follows up, patting Ryan’s butt as well before wandering out of the apartment after Mica. Jack rolls her eyes fondly.

“I gotta go,” she says. “I'll call you if I need you.”

“Don’t be too mean on him, alright?” Ryan jokes. Jack gives him a bland, but still somehow amused look before grabbing her clutch and heading out the door to meet Geoff somewhere else. Ryan ruffles his hair a little in his hand before checking himself out in the mirror. He strokes his face in his hand, feeling the rigid lines of his scars. They're not that bad, he guesses. Bad but not _that_ bad. Before he can start feeling sorry for himself, he goes ahead and pads out of this apartment and into the next where everyone else apparently has huddled in.

In the Jones’ apartment, the lot of them have huddled together on the sofa to share some pizza and mush their faces together. Most of them, anyways. Lindsay is chatting business on her phone and Michael is having a very different meal of her pussy. This leaves Gavin, Ray, and Mica to nuzzle with each other happily. Ryan is a little surprised at how easily Mica has managed to merge seamlessly into their unique little relationship here but she has. She just fits in so well.

Ryan plops himself on the couch with them and grabs a slice of pizza to shove in his own face. Mica shifts from leaning against Gavin to instead lay herself on Ryan's chest and hum pleasantly. Honestly, he can see why Lindsay wanted to court her. It's not long until pizza is gone and they're left to lazily sit around and watch tv, the late day leaving little else to do and nothing to want. Of course, this just means Ray and Gavin end up kissing sooner rather than later, just sweet little touches shared between them.

Mica adjusts herself to face him instead and leans up to give Ryan a little kiss. He smiles and returns the soft gesture. Again, she has to move a little to be more comfortable as she pecks his face with little kisses. Ryan rests his hand on her waist lightly, more than happy to exchange these little affections with her. For a while, she's fine with this, too. Sure enough, though, it's not long until her hands start wandering. She palms his dick and Ryan jumps a little.

When she makes it clear that's what she's interested in, Ryan gently pushes her hand away. She pulls back and gives him a curious look.

“Sorry Mica,” he says quietly. “I'm not really- comfortable with that right now.”

“Wait, with what?” Mica replies quizzically. “Aren't you the one that, like, puts out on the first date?” Alright, Ryan knows he's a little easy but come on. Why do they have to tell everyone that?

“Well, yeah,” he murmurs. “I just don't think we know each other well enough yet.” He doesn’t want to say it's because she's so much younger than him. Generally, he's only dated people his own age. Lindsay is really the first person he's seriously dated that wasn’t a year or two apart. Ray was younger than that but not significantly. Even then, Ryan had some hesitations about even having a crush on him in the beginning. He knows this isn’t entire fair to Mica but they really haven't known each other long unlike Lindsay or Ray. It's weird to be intimate with someone he doesn't know well and factoring age into that doesn’t make him comfortable with this at all.

“Alright, I guess,” Mica says but she seems thoroughly unconvinced and not particularly happy about it. She does lean in again to give him another tentative kiss that he accepts. Affection and intimacy are very different, after all.

\- x -

Jack lifts her head a little as Ryan paps the back of her thighs. She gives him a little grin and he smiles back before joining her on the bed, nearly laying completely on top of her to look over her shoulder at the papers she’s looking at. It’s nothing interesting, not to him anyways, and sure enough he is not interested for very long. Numbers of Los Santos never entertain him for long, Ryan really just cares about making things explode and not live anymore. To each their own. Beside her, Ray is invested in a game, certainly not giving a care to what she’s doing nor Ryan for that matter.

“What are you doing?” Jack asks and Ryan hums a bit, nuzzling her with his head.

“Nothin,” he murmurs back. “Are you busy?”

“I suppose not,” she agrees. “What’s wrong?”

“Ray is worried about you dating Geoff,” Ryan says. Ray jolts, all to suddenly not paying any attention to his game and full attention to them. He gives Ryan an irritated, rather surprised, look.

“Dude,” he says. “You said you’d tell her we were both worried!”

“Why would I do that?” Ryan questions curiously. “I don’t care if she dates Geoff. It's alright if you're concerned about something, Ray.” Ray gives him a dirty, dirty look that says he didn't sign up for this shit. Jack sits up, nudging Ryan off her back in the same movement to meet Ray face to face.

“What are you worried about, Ray?” she asks softly. He looks away irritably, fiddling with his controller again. “You don’t- you're not worried I'm going to leave you guys for Geoff are you?”

“No,” Ray snorts back. He makes a jerking shrug. “It's just that Geoff has hurt you a lot before and I dunno, you act like he's not going to do it again or something. I don’t want you to get hurt or, like, let down or whatever.”

“Ray,” Jack murmurs gently.

“I mean, yeah, you said all that stuff about having good times too but- Look Jack, you said it yourself, Geoff made you want to kill yourself. That's not- I can’t just glaze over that. That's like a serious, huge problem,” Ray insists.

“That was a long time ago, Ray,” Jack tries to assure him.

“I know,” Ray huffs.

“Geoff's going to hurt me and he's going to disappoint me,” she tells him softly. “That's just a part of things. People make mistakes. Ryan disappoints me all the time-” Ryan frowns a little. “We hurt Ryan all the time.” Ryan gives a shrug of a nod.

“You know that's not what I mean,” Ray replies, giving her an unamused look. Jack reaches over to pet his thigh in order to try to comfort him.

“The bar I set for Geoff is so low and I assure you, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he managed to wedge himself under it,” she assures. “Trust me, Ray, Geoff is on thin, thin ice with me and if he so much as inches a toe over the line, we're done. Permanently. If you're really not sure about this, just tell me, okay? Your say is important in this, too.”

“No,” Ray sighs loudly. “I mean, I'm not going to tell you to break up with him again or something. I know you can handle yourself.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asks, leaning over to give him a gentle kiss. “It's okay if you do, you know. I won't be mad.”

“I know,” Ray scoffs back, fiddling with his controller again. “I just hope things go better this time, okay? I don’t want them to get to the point where you _have_ to break it off with Geoff.” Jack offers him a soft smile. She knows he's a worried, a rare occurrence for him to actually say as much, but she's glad about it, too. Things with Geoff might work out or they might not, it's up in the air right now. That's not to say she doesn’t want to try.

“No one will ever make me feel like that again,” she promises him. “Not Geoff, not Ryan, not you. I was in a bad place back then and I promised myself I'd never let it get that far again.” Ray nods sheepishly in understanding, at least appearing to feel a little better about their conversation now.

“And even if things don't work out, I still have you,” she says and smiles a bit more. “And Ryan. And the Jones. And probably Mica at this rate. I won't have to deal with anything alone.”

“Yeah,” Ray agrees quietly. He smiles a little in return. “Sorry, I know I shouldn't have said anything. I was worried for nothing.”

“It wasn’t for nothing,” Ryan insists.

“It's important we communicate,” Jack says. “If you're worried about something, I want to know. Okay?” Ray nods somewhat exasperatedly, obviously already rather tired of this long discussion he never meant to bring on.

“Yeah yeah, alright,” he murmurs. “I get it. Fucking nerds.” Ray isn’t all that used to having to talk about his feelings. To be fair, though, neither is Jack. She's surprised to find out Ryan of all people is the one to encourage conversations like this.

Ryan grins happily, rolling over Jack to nuzzle himself between them where he doesn’t really fit but likes it that way. Ray rolls his eyes as he goes back to his game and Jack gives Ryan a little peck on the lips before returning to her reading as well.

\- x -

Ray is not fully sure why he was the one that got volunteered for this but he supposes he owes Ryan for whatever piss poor attempt he made at ‘discreetly’ bringing up the Geoff issue with Jack. Even so, he feels like he is the last person they want doing this despite he and Mica getting along so well lately. He knocks on her door quietly. The room used to be Gavin’s room which was then turned into Gavin’s time out room which now is functioning as a guest room for Mica until they find her a better place to stay- or more realistically until she moves herself into a different room.

“Yeah?” Mica replies through the door, sounding quite busy with something else.

“It's me,” Ray says halfly. “Are you busy?”

“You can come in,” she assures. Ray shuffles in and sure enough, Mica is most certainly not dressed in the slightest. She's standing around in only her underwear if it could even be called that considering her bright pink panties lack any sort of crotch and her sheer bra is very clearly see through, showing off her little heart areolas nicely. They are very nice, though, sure.

“Uh,” Ray murmurs as she continues about grooming her face and hair just the same as before. She's set up such a massive amount of makeup in what time she's been here. It would almost be comedic if Ray wasn't already aware what she can do with it all. It's actually immensely impressive. He doesn’t even know what most of it is for and he's surprisingly knowledgeable about makeup between Jack and Ryan’s use of it. This goes far beyond contouring, which is impressive itself; Mica can make herself a completely different person.

Curiously, she peers over her shoulder when he's been distracted by her outfit for too long. Mica grins at him in amusement, shaking her hips a touch and giving him a wink. Ray stops staring at her long enough to watch her work on her make up some more.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Jack wanted me to make sure you were alright? After what happened with Ryan?”

“Oh yeah,” Mica hums back.

“Cool, cool,” Ray replies with a little nod. “It wasn’t, like, personal or anything. It has nothing to do with you,” he promises. “Ryan's just weird about stuff sometimes. If you haven't figured that out already.” She laughs a little.

“It's fine,” Mica assures.

“He'll get over it, yeah,” Ray says.

“Of course,” she agrees as she turns to face him again. Wow that's just some really revealing underwear. “How do I look? Enough to seduce Ryan?”

“Uh,” Ray murmurs. “I think you missed the entire point of this conversation.”

“Oh, I got it,” Mica assures. “You should understand, Ray. Men are constantly either oversexualizing everything I do just because I'm a young, black, bi woman or undersexualizing me, strangely enough, for the same reason.”

“Well, yeah,” Ray says unsurely. He gets that. “Ryan's not trying-”

“I don’t care what he's ’ _trying_ ’,” she answers before he even gets a chance to finish. “I know he likes me, I know I get his dick hard, and I know he puts out. Just because he is having some ‘internal’ conflict about how he finds me so attractive ‘despite’ my age doesn’t mean _he_ gets to dictate my sexuality.” Alright, so, he's obviously just been thrown into some kind of seriously deep seeded issue that he is absolutely not equipped to deal with at all.

“Okay, yeah, agree, but-” Ray tries to say something to make her feel better but he doesn’t get the chance.

“I am an adult and I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions including who I want to sleep with even if said person is some weird old dude with a boner for skulls,” Mica assures him. “He doesn’t get to take away _my_ sexual agency because of some bizarre hyper masculinity problem he has with who he's attracted to. If he's not attracted to me, fine. If he doesn't like me, _fine_. If he doesn't want to bang me, _fine_. But he's not pushing the blame of his issues on me.”

“Uh. Hold on,” Ray says. He quickly slips back out of the room and bolts to fetch Ryan, hurriedly filling him in on the short, mostly one sided conversation had with Mica. Ryan’s a little too disoriented by the sudden movement from what he was doing to this to process it all in a timely manner. Mica crosses her arms as they enter her room again, both as a sign of her annoyance and to push out her tits.

“I'm sorry Mica,” Ryan offers quietly. “I should have considered your feelings too and I didn't.”

“Yeah,” she huffs back, making a mild scoff of a noise. “Look, if you don't want to, then that's fine with me. I don’t really care. Just don't try to play this ‘righteous’ better man game with me, alright?”

“That does sound like what I was doing, doesn’t it?” he murmurs with somewhat of a grimace. “Sorry. I'm still not- one hundred percent comfortable with,” he glances over her and her dainty little pink set of undies. “That. I'd still like to get to know you a little better first.” Mica lets out a small, but amused, little sigh and nods her head.

“Yeah,” she says. “That sounds pretty nice, actually.” Ryan grins at her softly. Ray steps between them a little, waving his hand to remind them he's still here.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” he assures. “Totally comfortable with that.” He nods at her dainty little outfit suggestively. Mica smirks and does a little shimmy with her hips to entice him.

“How fortunate,” she hums. “Because I just had an idea as to how you can make _me_ more comfortable.” She gives him a wink and Ray gladly bumps Ryan out of the way. Ryan makes a small, gruff sound before shuffling out the room.

\- x -

Geoff isn’t one hundred percent on this idea but Jack insisted. It's not that he's opposed to a double date, it's simply that Geoff knows the kind of dates Ryan goes on and they certainly go a very specific way that he's not quite sure he wants to be a part of. Apparently Ryan's sexual exploits are more true than not and while sure, Geoff knows he doesn’t _have_ to sleep with Ryan he's more worried there's actually a reason people find him so charming. He's a fucking mass murdering dork. He's not charming unless he's trying to be in which case it's equal parts scary and cheap.

Plus, Jeremy has a crush on him and if the people Jeremy has a crush on is any indication, Ryan isn’t that good of a guy. Of course, Geoff is going to go anyways. It's not about him dating Ryan, after all, which Jack assured probably isn't going to happen anyways, it's about making Jeremy feel welcome into whatever the hell is happening around here anymore.

It's a simple date and Geoff isn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen- ordinary for them at any rate. He’s just nervous about fucking something up, as usual. As of lately, he's had a pretty good run of not doing that but that only means he's due.

“You alright, Geoff?” Jeremy asks curiously, peering at him as he continues to fix his bow tie.

“Yeah buddy,” Geoff murmurs softly and he offers a little grin.

“And you're sure you're okay with this?” he asks. It's obvious he's a little hesitant about it as if he's concerned Geoff really isn’t okay with it and is going to call the whole thing off or something. Geoff tries to give him a reassuring smile.

“Sure, it's just a date with you, me, Jack, and Ryan. You know, three of four people who have always gotten along _great_ ,” he replies. “What could _possibly_ go horribly, _horribly_ wrong?” Jeremy gives him a bland look.

“Relax, Geoff,” he scoffs back. “It's going to be fine. The worse thing that'll happen is Ryan might stab you a little.”

“I didn’t actually think of _that_ as the worse thing, Jeremy!” Geoff barks. “That doesn’t make me feel better!”

“Well!” Jeremy yelps back. “It's not like I said kill, relax! You know Ryan! It's like a friendly stabbing!”

“There's no such thing as a friendly stabbing!” Geoff snaps.

“Sure there is!” Jeremy insists. A knock on the door fortunately interrupts whatever mediocre attempt this was to make him feel better. Geoff hadn’t exactly felt bad about it in the first place but now. Jeremy walks past him to get the door, quietly adding on another “relax” as he goes.

“Hey Jeremy,” Jack greets him with a smile as he opens the door. Ryan waves from behind her.

“Hey Jack! Hi Ryan!” Jeremy replies happily. He turns to look at Geoff and Jack leans over a bit to do so as well.

“We ready to go?” she asks. They're dressed like they usually are, Ryan in his dumb leather jacket that Geoff isn’t even sure he can get the blood out of anymore or if he even tries and Jack in her casual, easy going short shorts and ugly ass Hawaiian print. Along with Jeremy the fucking traffic cone and Geoff in his nice, pressed suit, they look like a fucking freakshow- an idea not helped by Ryan godawful facepaint. If they weren't a gang, he'd probably never dare to be seen with these assholes. Fortunately, they're not going to dinner today, Ryan insists that's way too boring. This is just an outing that, hopefully, stays as such.

“I guess,” Geoff agrees and Jeremy beams. “Let’s go before I start to regret this.”

“I'm glad you're being a good sport about this, Geoff,” Jack says blandly as he and Jeremy follow their two dates out of his apartment and towards the garage. Admittedly, Geoff hadn’t exactly planned on going to see that new bar with two other people. He kind of wants to be welcomed back to this place, after all. Not a lot of bars are keeping their lights on for him for one reason or another.

“Michael no,” Mica murmurs somewhat halfheartedly as Michael carries her over his shoulder out of Jack's apartment and towards his own. “I'm too tired. How _dare_ you.” Her tone suggests that this isn't exactly what's going on here.

“Shut up,” Michael scoffs fondly. “It's game night. We need another player.” As they pass by, Mica looks at them curiously before giving them a little wink. Something tells Geoff she just wanted Michael to carry her over even if it's like a deer carcass.

“Well I _guess_ I can play,” she sighs dramatically as they disappear into the Jones’ apartment. Jack chuckles softly.

“Mica’s really settled in, hasn’t she,” Jeremy comments almost longingly. Geoff knows he's still a little unsure about being a part of the crew. He wants to be, of course, but he’s nervous they won't like him or something or maybe he just feels he's here because of Geoff. Either way, Geoff isn’t exactly going to throw him at the crew and hope for the best, Jeremy’s got to ease into things at his own pace.

“Mostly,” Jack agrees. “It takes some time to get use to stuff but we're working on it. She's a sweetie.”

“A sweetie who put Gavin in a headlock the other day,” Ryan mentions.

“We all put Gavin in a headlock from time to time,” Jack insists.

“I'm not arguing with you,” Ryan assures as they pile into the elevator. “It was endearing.” Geoff and Jeremy exchange looks. Honestly, Geoff's glad to hear she's making herself at home. He's not as glad his crew immediately took her to their bed but there's not exactly a lot he can do about that. Nor is it exactly his business.

They head for Jack's newly detailed car in the garage and as they do, Ryan searches his pockets momentarily. This raises his jacket enough for Jeremy to rather quickly notice his gun. Jeremy looks at Geoff hurriedly, asking him a silent question in some panic. Geoff shakes his head. Sure, this is hopefully just a nice date and they absolutely have no reason to bring their guns but of course Ryan is going to. And so is Geoff. There's never a _bad_ time to be armed in this city.

Whether he found what he was looking for or not, Ryan just shrugs and opens the backdoor for them. Jeremy gives him a nervous smile before hurriedly sliding in. Geoff gestures Ryan into the back seat.

“I never ride back,” he assures. Ryan gives him a look of disbelief but climbs in next to Jeremy anyways who immediately stiffens up. Geoff climbs into the passenger seat and Jack glances at him.

“Don’t be a dick,” she says. “We're not even there yet.”

“I'm not being a dick,” Geoff scoffs. “I just said I don’t ride backseat.” Jack rolls her eyes but she's smiling.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Ryan murmurs to Jeremy. He blinks curiously but does as he's told. That's right, he's never rode with Jack in something like this before. Clunky vans and trucks maybe, but never something this fast. He'll probably be fine. Geoff goes ahead and puts his seatbelt on, though. Ryan just holds onto grip attached to the ceiling.

“I'm assuming there's a reason you want to go to this bar specifically, Geoff?” Jack muses as she nearly takes out a motorcycle just leaving the garage. By no stretch of the word is Jack a bad driver; just reckless. That being said, she's still been in less accidents and less gruesome accidents than any of them.

“It's new,” Geoff shrugs. “Sounds like it's worth checking out, you know?”

“Did you get banned from another bar?” Jack asks.

“Define ‘banned’,” Geoff replies.

“You can’t go there anymore?” she insists, intentionally leaving it vague.

“Then yes,” Geoff murmurs. It's hard to go to a bar when it's burned down. They're rebuilding it, it's fine.

“Then let's try not to get ‘banned’ from this one, shall we?” Jack suggests.

“I'd never,” Geoff assures with feigned insult.

“Ryan,” she says, glancing at him in the rear view mirror.

“Huh, what? Yeah, sure,” he answers as he pretends like he absolutely wasn’t thinking about shooting the car behind them. Jack shakes her head. Fortunately he seems to be relatively deterred by the backseat not having any operable windows. Geoff did them a solid, honestly. Jeremy seems to be taking Jack’s driving pretty well aside from the few too sharp turns that bash his face into Ryan's chest before whipping him back again. His face is a dusty pink for more reasons than one.

Jack's car is the nicest in the parking lot though fairly, this place isn’t exactly in the best part of town to begin with. They climb out, taking a moment to have a look around, and Jack makes sure no one's going to steal her car by placing an armed block of c4 on the steering wheel. With little nods of agreement, they head inside. It looks about as Geoff expected; small, seedy, and filled with people they wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Or anywhere else, really. Equally unsurprising, the entire bar goes hushed when they enter probably because Ryan's wearing his vagabond face. That's definitely a mood killer.

Jeremy awkwardly shifts so he's not walking on the outside of their group. The feel of the room isn’t hostile though, just unsure and anxious, which is enough for Geoff to feel alright hanging around. People are right to feel that way about them.

“W-what do you want?” the bartender asks somewhat rudely when they approach.

“Beer would be nice,” Geoff murmurs back. “And make it the good stuff, eh? For the house.” The bar remains eerily quiet and Geoff peers over his shoulder as he takes his wallet out.

“He said, _free beer for the house_ ,” Ryan repeats a little louder and a little more aggressive. The bar awkwardly cheers. He scoffs.

“And a diet coke for our designated juggalo over here. Keep the change,” Geoff murmurs. “Buy this place a nice rug or something.” Not showing themselves to currently be in a mood to tussle, the bar gradually settles in with their free beer and returns to the quiet hum most bars have. Jack tosses him a pool cue.

“Twenty bucks on a round of eight ball?” she offers as he catches it.

“Twenty bucks?” Geoff snorts back.

“Oh what, not risky enough for you Mr. Buy the Bar Drinks?” Jack teases. “Alright then, if I win, we open up that nice scotch you got from the auction.”

“Aw that’s a Balvenie. That was twenty seven thousand dollars, Jack,” Geoff complains. Not the most expensive liquor he’s ever bought but still.

“So now the stakes are too high? Make up your mind, Geoff,” she insists. He knows she’s done this intentionally so he’ll settle on the twenty bucks and not risk opening a very expensive bottle of scotch but he’ll take it.

“Fine,” he scoffs. “And if I win-”

“And think very carefully about what you’re going to say next,” Jack says.

“We go dancing,” he says. Jack looks surprised and she considers it for a moment before nodding.

“You have yourself a bet,” she agrees with a grin. Geoff feels like he’s about to be out a twenty seven thousand dollar bottle of scotch. Jack hands Jeremy a pool cue and he looks at her curiously. “You’re on my team, alright?”

“Oh! I-! I’ve never, uh, played pool before? Not seriously, at least,” he murmurs sheepishly.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think Ryan has, either,” Jack assures. Geoff’s skin jolts as he glances at Ryan looking over a pool cue as well, realising this means _they’re_ going to be on a team together.

“Is that what this is for?” he muses. “I’ve been using it far better.”

“Great,” Geoff says sarcastically. “This is going to go great.”

“Ryan knows his way around a pair of balls, Geoff,” Jack promises.

“She’s not wrong,” Ryan agrees.

“Remember what we said about not ruining this date?” Geoff murmurs.

“Oh, I don’t remember anyone saying anything about that,” Ryan replies. Geoff sighs loudly. It’s obviously going to be a night to remember. He racks up the balls and Jack breaks them as per their usual arrangement. They don’t play pool that often but they still have their own very specific rules for it. Rules like no, Jack isn’t allowed go twice just because Geoff forgot his wallet in the car or how skipping a ball into his own drinking glass doesn’t count as a sink even though that was a sweet shot and Jack agreed.

Geoff goes next in what will probably be his best shot of the evening without any drinks in him and Ryan nearly pokes himself in the eye with the pool cue behind him. He definitely needs some drinks in him pronto.

“Here, like this Jeremy,” Jack instructs as she leans against his back. Jeremy blushes bright red, their distinct height difference nuzzling his head right between her breasts when she wraps around him through no unawareness from Jack. She helps him line up his shot despite the fact that he does not seem to be capable of paying attention at the moment, and he rockets the cue ball into outer fucking space.

“Aw. Sorry,” Jeremy murmurs softly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jack promises, giving him a gentle pat on the back. Ryan looks at his pool cue in hand, at the table, and then back to the cue. Geoff sighs again.

“Do I need to hug you, too,” he asks.

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt,” Ryan replies. Geoff sets his pool cue aside to, somewhat reluctantly, move to show Ryan how to even play pool. Unlikely Jeremy who probably doesn’t strictly need help, Ryan doesn’t even know how to hold this thing. Due to _their_ distinct height difference, Geoff can not see over Ryan in any way, shape, or form. Ryan scratches the table but at least doesn’t launch a ball off of it.

“Why is this fun?” Ryan questions blandly.

“Shut up is why,” Geoff replies. Ryan shrugs. Jack takes her turn next and finally they get some drinks in them to chat around as they play. Jeremy certainly doesn’t need as much help as Jack is giving him but he also isn’t arguing and is more than happy to accept any she gives him- most of which involve helping position him from behind. A series of words Geoff isn’t sure he wants to think about or not. This whole poly thing is a little confusing to him sometimes. Meanwhile, Ryan definitely needs all the help he can get and he is also a pretty big dude and Geoff is pretty sure he will throw up if Ryan elbows him in the stomach one more time.

The drunker they get, the slower their game progresses. At a certain point, Ryan stops being interested in playing at all and Jeremy joins him, more sober than Geoff or Jack, to settle at a table instead. They’re certainly getting along though Geoff isn’t surprised at all. Jeremy did have a crush on Ryan for some bizarre reason and Ryan is a surprisingly charming guy. They chat quietly while Geoff and Jack finish their game.

“You know,” Geoff murmurs, leaning into her a little. “You could just let me win and we could go somewhere nice to dance.”

“You know,” Jack murmurs back, leaning her head against his. “ _I_ could win and we can share that bottle of scotch over some dancing, anyways.”

“Why don’t you just buy your own booze?” Geoff gruffs.

“It tastes better when it’s been in your stubborn hands for a few months,” Jack teases. “Don’t worry. We can water it down and reseal it before your parents ever find out.”

“Ha,” he replies stiffly as she makes another shot.

“Stop hoarding the stuff you like, Geoff,” she says. “I sure as hell won’t bury it with you.”

“If they have enough to bury me when I’m gone, I’ve done something very wrong,” Geoff assures. Jack laughs but she nods in agreement. In the end, Geoff does win but only because he has a tolerance for alcohol like a brick wall and Jack can’t see the cue ball straight anymore. He pays their tab, a whopping six grand after all is said and damages are done, and they pile back into Jack’s car that is unsurprisingly still there. Ryan tosses the C4 out and Geoff rides half asleep in the back with Jack. Jeremy holds his alcohol surprisingly well but to make Ryan feel less lonely, withheld matching them drink for drink.

Jack drunkenly paws at his knee as they head home and Geoff rests his head on her shoulder. She’s soft and warm in a way he really misses sometimes. Fondly she leans in to give him some little, soft affectionate kisses.

“I want a rematch,” she whispers.

“This time you get Ryan,” Geoff replies.

“Big baby,” Jack teases. Ryan helps Jack out of the car to which she waves him off once she’s gotten her footing. Instead she just motions him to continue on having his little talk with Jeremy, grabbing a hold of Geoff to head back to his apartment. It’s later than he thought it would be and he’s drunker than he thought he’d be. Jeremy and Ryan follow to some degree behind them, ensuring they all get there in more or less one piece.

Jack happily flops onto his couch and Geoff joins her tiredly, absolutely ready to sleep the night away. They lean on each other and truly, Geoff’s kind of glad they could so easily go back to this comfortableness they have.

“I messed up a lot of things in my life,” Geoff murmurs. “I’m glad you’re not one of them.”

“I’m a person,” Jack replies, tapping her head against the nook of his shoulder. “Not some object for you to ‘mess up’.”

“You can’t let me be melodramatic for two seconds, can you?” he scoffs. She blows a raspberry at him and they both giggle like idiots for no discernible reason. “I do love you, though.”

“And I,” she says slowly. “Would love. If you shaved that thing.” She taps his mustache with her finger and Geoff moves his head away.

“Absolutely not,” he huffs.

“G-Geoff,” Jeremy says. Geoff glances over his shoulder to see what the problem is. It’s quite the opposite, in fact. Ryan is, rather efficiently, carrying Jeremy with the lad’s legs wrapped firmly around his middle and they’re both quite out of breath from what he can only assume is kissing. “Do you- do you mind?”

“Huh? No, no,” Geoff murmurs and wave them off to continue. Ryan more than gladly carries Jeremy down the hall to do so. “Hey! Use the guest bedroom! I don’t want blood on my good sheets again!”

“I think Jeremy is going to get used to this poly thing real easy,” Jack says in amusement.

“Either that or Ryan just stole my boyfriend,” Geoff snorts.

“I won’t say that’s out of the question,” she jokes. She sighs in amusement and they sit quietly for a moment, looking out over the lights that dance after dark down in the city. Jack pets his thigh softly. “I love you, too, Geoff. This was nice.”

Yeah. Geoff expected much worse.

\- x -

This is much worse.

Geoff feels a little out of place if he’s being honest. The lads don’t really seem to care one way or another, far too busy amusing themselves between hands and lips and tongue to pay much mind to anything not that. Jack and Ryan act as though this is a totally normal, acceptable thing. Then again, he thinks it is. Admittedly, the lads probably have a way higher sexual stamina than they do and when there’s so many of them, watching probably just ends up happening. Geoff has just never been much of a ‘watcher’.

Jeremy seems to be having a good ol time at least. Geoff can’t see who wouldn’t have a good time with both Jones’ face in his lap and Gavin attentively kissing his mouth. It was a little surprising to find out ‘womanizer’ Gavin’s extent of sexual conduct went as far as kissing and nothing else. That being said, he’s perfectly content with being a part of this as long as he remains out of the way to which that means he just likes moving around and kissing everyone. Right now he is exclusively focused on Jeremy, though.

This is the first time he, or Geoff for that matter, have been a part of anything like this. Individually, sure, they’ve tentatively wet their feet in this circle jerk that’s been going on around here, but honestly Geoff was joking about the orgy thing. He didn’t know that really was a thing that happened and more so, he wasn’t expecting to be a part of it let alone _today_. It just kind of happened which, now that he knows he does happen, probably isn’t all that unusual around here, either.

The Jones’ are far more predictable, however. It seems like more of a fight between them, Lindsay nudging Michael out of the way to press her mouth against Jeremy’s clit only for Michael to in turn push her out of the way to lap at his folds. When not busy with his dripping cunt, they kiss and lick and nip at his trembling thighs instead. Jeremy certainly doesn’t have a single complaint in mind and is greatly benefiting from this competition they have going on, gasping and panting against Gavin as he arches against the couch.

Mica and Ray are equal parts eager to put a show on for Ryan but also get themselves off. This seems to be a high goal to reach for considering neither of them are quite capable of getting off on rutting alone. Or rather, Ray isn’t and as such he isn’t willing to let Mica have it so easily. They grind their pussies together eagerly and every time Mica quickens her pace, Ray slows down and they both groan irritably. Geoff realises this is less to tease her and more to intentionally frustrate her when she finally grabs his thighs to hold him still and rut against him. Ray groans low in his throat.

Ryan’s attention is undivided. He remains lazed back on the sofa, mildly stretched out, with his eyes fixated on the two of them. He's not tense like Geoff expected but instead relaxed and calm. For whatever reason, he's totally content with watching and Geoff never thought Ryan would be alright with ‘just watching’ anything. The way he sits makes his arousal pretty obvious but even then Ryan shows no current want to deal with that, either.

Jack switches between watching Ray and Mica grapple together and the Jones’ tease Jeremy to the edge and back again. Likewise, she doesn't look too intent on trying to join in at the moment, instead simply sitting back with half a blunt in one hand and her beer in the other. She keeps her legs neatly crossed but Geoff has no doubt she's equally as interested as Ryan- or himself for that matter. When she notices him looking at her, she offers him a hit that he quietly takes.

“Does this, like, happen often?” Geoff asks under his breath, not really wanting to disturb what anyone is doing as hard as that might be at the moment.

“‘This’?” Jack repeats curiously. To be fair, there is a lot going on and he should probably be more specific.

“Watching the lads go at it like they're bangin’ fuckin’ Molly?” he clarifies then pauses, “they're not, are they?”

“Oh. I wouldn’t say ‘often’,” she murmurs, exhaling a bit of smoke from her nose. “I guess it's not _in_ often, either, though. It helps Ryan ease into things and, you know, we don't exactly have the stamina the lads do all the fuckin’ time.” They're older though Geoff wouldn’t say _that_ older and they're more patient though, again, _not_ that patient.

“So the Molly thing,” Geoff repeats quietly. Jack makes no response. Alright. Well. He doesn’t think they are, at the moment anyways, but he supposes he would not be surprised. Jeremy tries to catch his breath between now Gavin and Lindsay kissing him while Michael irritably shuffles around through a mess of a drawer for a condom. Lindsay rolls her fingers over his clit giving him both no rest and no climax, either. Every pant and groan he makes is just swallowed up again between the attentive lips on his.

Mica and Ray have shifted closer to Ryan, Ray now leaned on the inside of his leg with Mica’s fingers lavishing his cunt. She grinds against Ray's thigh, having already come herself and already ready for another. Ray arches against Ryan with little noises like he doesn't want to be heard but doesn't care enough to help it. Ryan pets him softly.

Geoff isn’t sure what he should be doing if anything. He's not really sure what asking would get him, either. Are there rules he should be following? Common courtesy? He's content with watching if that's what he should be doing but is he supposed to get up and help at some point?

Lindsay sort of bullies Jeremy into a different, better position that doesn’t crane his back as much and he moves wherever she push and prods him. He's not always so pliant, surprisingly rarely Geoff has come to find out, but this is new to him and honestly, the Jones probably intimidate him a little. Either that or they _really_ got him needy for this. Jeremy’s a bit of a bully himself when he wants to be. Michael settles back between his legs and drizzles a generous helping of lube over his already slick cunt.

Ray shifts himself around to sit at least somewhat comfortably on his knees and Ryan grunts appreciatively as Ray palms his hard on. Mica climbs up next to him, easily sat between him and Geoff now, and urges him to touch her tits. She's very petite compared to him and Ryan caresses her skin softly under his fingers. Geoff's also pretty sure she could break his hand with minimum effort though so that's nice. He'll keep his hands to himself, thanks.

As Ray pulls Ryan's dick out from his jeans, Mica wraps her arms around Ryan's head and nuzzles his face between her breasts. Until, of course, his makeup rubs off on her and she shoves him away somewhat harshly.

“Ryan,” she says flatly. “Why didn't you seal your fucking makeup. Again.”

“I did!” Ryan complains. “The stuff you recommended isn’t strong enough.”

“Not strong enough? Ryan- how much makeup are you wearing?” Mica scoffs. Geoff isn’t sure which part of this is more comedic the fact that they’re having this discussion at all or the fact that they’re doing it one hundred percent seriously with Ray going down on him. Ryan shrug animatedly. “Ugh. I'm gonna show you what plaster is for later. Michael, toss me one of those.”

Michael does as instructed without looking, throwing a condom in her direction and smacking Ryan in the face with it. He huffs mildly.

“Thanks,” Mica hums. She holds it between her lips as she shimmies the rest of the way out of her bra and then she's climbing into Geoff's lap. Oh. Yeah, alright, he's okay with this. She grins at him and Geoff blindly tries to put his beer down somewhere.

“You can get it up my right?” she asks.

“That was once!” Michael apparently finds the time to assure her.

“With her maybe,” Lindsay scoffs. Michael gives her a dirty look. “What? It happens to the best of us. Well, I mean not _me_. _I_ don’t have a dick.”

“I think I'll be fine,” Geoff promises. Mica palms her tits for him in her hands enticingly, not that Geoff really needs it. Once he's sure he's allowed to touch, he does. Her little heart areolas remind him of a nightmare he had once but not for very long. They're quite nice and her soft skin under his fingers is doubly so. Mica rubs his hard on through his jeans as he rolls her stiff nipples under his fingers. She's already ridiculously wet from before, her cum leaving a wet spot on his pants where she sits.

Geoff's already been given the walk through on everyone by everyone else which he remembers exactly none of. There's just so many of them. He figures if he just plays it safe, he'll be fine. Don't touch without asking and follow the leader, easy. Mica makes it exceptionally easy by knowing exactly what she wants already. She doesn’t hesitate in pulling his dick from his jeans and stroking his erect cock as she opens the neon purple condom between her teeth.

“You’re cool with this, yeah?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Geoff assures immediately. “Oh yeah.” He’s surprisingly okay with a lot of things he didn’t think he would. Like sharing partners, even if Jack has repeatedly told him that is not the best way to look at it, or Ryan. Ryan’s weird, it’s weird to have Ryan just chill around him. Geoff’s okay with that, though.

Mica hums pleasantly as she rolls the condom over his dick. With them now closest to her, Jack has adjusted to watching them instead. She leans her head on his shoulder a little, watching as Mica rubs her wet cunt with her fingers before rocking against the head of his dick. Geoff breathes deep, caressing her waist as she moves herself into position. Mica grins at him, rubbing the hot folds of her cunt against him teasingly.

Jack strokes his cock with her fingers momentarily, making his skin jolt, before rubbing Mica’s attentive little clit. She lets out a low hum of approval as she sinks further down Geoff’s dick and he clutches a handful of the couch in his free hand. Similar groans and breathy sounds echo off the others, filling the room with a chorus of noises out of rhythm and off beat. Jack brushes her hand over Mica’s chest, softly plucking one of her nipples and Mica lets out a delicate little whimper as she grinds her hips against him.

“Ah, Jack,” she groans out. Geoff rasps out a groan in reply but he still refrains from touching her too much. It’s not strictly necessary, anyways, as she’s quite certain about what she wants. Mica rocks against him deeply, finally pulling his hand over to toy with her clit while she does. A small whimper leaves her throat when he rubs it between his fingers and she leans over to give Jack a hot, slick kiss. Mica grins, leaning back over to do the same for him and Geoff gets a good breath of smoke from her pink lips. He chuckles.

“Do all bad girls smoke pot?” he teases.

“Don’t talk,” Mica replies.

“That’s fair,” Geoff murmurs and Jack laughs beside them. Mica gives him another brush of a kiss before she leans back a bit, supporting herself on his knees as she watches his dick disappearing into her again and again. She moans hotly and ushers him to rub her clit more. She’s so sensitive. The quicker she moves her hips, the more Geoff tries not to buck against her.

“Fuck, Ray,” Ryan rasps out beside him as he leans onto his shoulder.

“Oh Geoff,” Mica moans, leaning forward to kiss him again. She clenches down around him as she comes and practically pins his hand between her thighs in the process. Geoff grunts as she rolls her hips down into him in the aftermath of her orgasm and comes soon after her. Mica smirks at him, more than happily to keep rutting her hips ever now. There’s no doubt in his mind she’d be more than happy for a third orgasm right now. His refractory period is a little higher than hers, unfortunately.

“Alright, well don’t kill ‘im,” Jack murmurs.

“Boo,” Mica scoffs back. That being said, she isn’t all that displeased considering she just moves to Jack’s lap instead to kiss her more closely now.

“And when you’re done over there, come give us a hand, would you?” Michael says, wiping some sweat from his face with his shirt. “This kids worse than you are.” Jeremy mewls rather pitifully as Lindsay fucks him as hard and quick as he’d like against the couch with her dildo. Geoff probably could have warned them how stubborn and insatiable Jeremy is most times.

“Give Ryan like five minutes and he’ll help you out,” Ray says. “You know Ryan’s dick is Jeremy’s favorite anyways.”

“I thought Geoff was Jeremy’s favorite dick?” Gavin asks scathingly.

“Different kind of dick,” Ray assures.

“Alright, assholes,” Geoff huffs in a disgruntled fashion. “Don’t rough him up _too_ much. He’s still gotta walk.”

“I think that’s up to him,” Jack replies. Jeremy definitely isn’t complaining. Quite the opposite, in fact. If the opposite of complaining is breathlessly asking for more while trying to claw your girlfriend’s back to hell. Which is close enough, really.

\- x -

Jack definitely doesn’t like the idea of anyone leading her blindfolded anywhere but she has made an exception this time because Geoff sounded really distressed when she wouldn’t. Whatever this is about, he’s excited for it so she supposes she can play along. It better not be a sex swing is all she’s saying.

“We’re almost there,” Geoff promises, leading her by the arm down what definitely sounds like a fancy hallway. They drove somewhere, even more concerning, and Jack hasn’t seen anyone else all day. Geoff has obviously been distracting her. The fact that he insisted she dress up nice doesn’t exactly make this discrete in any way. She wouldn’t want to ruin their fun now at any rate.

“Hey, tell K over there to stop wriggling,” she hears Ray say somewhere in the distance.

“‘K’?” Lindsay repeats. “Why is there a ‘K’?”

“It’s not a K!” Gavin yelps.

“Shh! They’re here!” Jeremy urges.

“Everyone get ready!” Ryan insists.

“We’re not the most subtle of people,” Geoff murmurs to her quietly. Jack shakes her head. “Alright. Watch the edge.” He sets her hands on a railing of some kind and she reorients herself accordingly. Carefully, he takes her blindfold off again and when he does, she’s looking down into a ballroom floor very nicely decorated for a fancy party. The people who had actually set up and were enjoying this party, of course, are currently bound and gagged on the floor of the spacious room where she can see them. An oversized cake sits above them.

“Happy Annibirthmas?” Jack asks.

“What the fuck!” Geoff snaps loudly. “It was supposed to say ‘happy birthday’ you fucks!”

“Ryan kept insisting it was anniversary!” Ray barks. The cake bumps.

“It’s definitely not her birthday!” Ryan insists.

“What’s the ‘mas’ part?” Jack muses curiously. They all look at Gavin.

“I thought it was Christmas!” Gavin yips. Something inside the cake struggles.

“That was two days ago, Gavin!” Jeremy reminds him.

“Happy birthday, Jack!” Mica shouts as she and Michael finally spring out of the cake in their skimpy bikinis.

“Thanks for nailing us in, assholes,” Michael grumbles.

“What’s anibirthmas?” Mica asks.

“I told you it was birthday!” Ray yells again.

“It’s not her birthday!” Ryan barks back.

“I’m sure it’s _someone’s_ anniversary here,” Lindsay offers. They quickly descend into a chaos of arguments.

“It was supposed to say birthday,” Geoff promises, shaking his head mildly. “I knew I shouldn’t have left it up to these idiots.” Jack leans over to give him a little kiss on the cheek.

“My birthday is next week, Geoff,” she tells him before heading down the stairs to help herself to some cake.

“ _Shit_!” he curses under his breath.

They have some things to work on but, they’re happy.

They’re so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on [tumblr](http://edgarpattillo.tumblr.com/)! or don't!


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